When you plan vacations is it always with other couples or do you two go alone? When you plan weekends together, are you always hanging around with friends? Do you two ever spend time together alone anymore? You should worry if you and your partner are always spending time with others. Of course you should enjoy doing some things with other couples and other things alone. Each couple has to find the right balance. Of course sometimes couples do have a robust social life. But at other times spending all of their free time around other friends is a way to ensure that they don’t have to spend any time alone with each other. When other people aren’t around all of that fun, excitement and adventure is gone too. It can get pretty lonely in a relationship without a mutual connection. Friends can’t be around all of the time. And your relationship should be sustaining and fulfilling. In most cases there has just been a natural drifting apart. If a couple doesn’t spend time and invest in a relationship this will happen over time. Intimacy and connection have to then be reestablished.
Some people at this point decide to be friends and not lovers. They decide to be roommates not a couple or spouses. Sometimes they decide to stay together for the kids. At other times it’s because the emotional or financial burden of a divorce is too much for them. Some couples separate for a certain amount of time, or that amount of time is not even given. Instead of getting to this point, why not sit down with your partner and remember all of the reasons you initially fell in love with them? Reminisce with them and see if the nostalgia reignites any of those old feelings. Do something exciting you’ve always wanted to do but with just the two of you. Science has proven that taking part in exciting activities together that bring you both out of your comfort zone can reignite the spark. Try to turn each other on again. Have fun together. Plan activities you used to like to do, or something you both want to try out. Find ways to show your appreciation for what your partner brings to the relationship. Write them a nice email, get them a card, surprise them with a massage or a night on the town. Buy them a trinket with deep meaning, write them a poem or perform a song in their honor. Reinvest in your relationship and see if you can bring back that spark and reignite it into an inferno of love. For more on this topic, pick up a copy of Growing the Sparks, How to Bring Back the Sparks and the Magic in Your Relationship by Paul McLovett.