Why we don’t often see Black Women with White Men

Couple hugging in urban area

Interracial relationships have lost the stigma they once had, and in fact we are seeing interracial and interethnic dating and marriage in America now more than ever. Also, it is more acceptable to see an interracial couple than ever before. All kinds of people are getting together to explore differences, seek commonalities, and experience love. We even see black men with white women, a paradigm that is still taboo in some parts of the country, the last vestiges of a racially divided society. But one trend seems to be lagging. Why is it we don’t often see black women with white men? Black women aren’t opposed to dating white men per se. And surveys have shown that white people are generally the most open in dating outside their own race. So what gives? Mostly black women believe that white men won’t find them attractive. In the African American community, a curvier body is considered more attractive. Thicker legs, hips, and a round, protruding posterior are what is considered attractive. However, in the white community being thin is considered attractive when it comes to women. Since both of these models of beauty have been ingrained in the minds of each community, it’s difficult for black women to see themselves as being attractive to white men. If you are a black woman interested in attracting a white man, Author Lisa Marble offers some helpful advice in her book, How to be Irresistible to White Men: Interracial Dating Secrets of Asian Women Black Women Who Swirl Should Know.

Another problem is hair. Black women have a difficult time deciding what to do with it. A weave is looked down upon, natural hair is considered “nappy”, and a perm makes people think a black woman wants to look more like a white person. Black men, being part of the community, understand more. However, white men may be clueless when it comes to a black woman’s hair. This may make her feel uncomfortable, so she’ll avoid dating white man so as to avoid the conversation. White men usually date someone in the same socio-economic status. However, due to the many advantages they have in society, and the many disadvantages historically to the African American community, many white men don’t consider black women when out on the dating scene. In our society, though things have changed dramatically, the man still usually makes the first move. Black women aren’t often approached by white men. This statistic may be changing. Generally speaking, white men usually date Hispanic, Asian, or Pacific Islander women when they do date outside their race. Lastly, some black women just aren’t into white guys. A black man’s style is generally different, and they are used to that.

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2 thoughts on “Why we don’t often see Black Women with White Men

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