What to do when you’re Dating a Workaholic


Are you dating someone who is always working? Passion, drive and ambition can be very attractive qualities. But if you find that you never see him or her, you can wonder what the point is in dating them. Instead of ignoring the issue or ending a relationship where you really like the other person, it’s time to consider other alternatives. What do you do when you’re dating a workaholic? First, you need to determine if this person is actually a workaholic or not. Do they have any friends, hobbies or things they do outside of work? Do they put everything aside, even important things, to do work related tasks? Does your romantic partner constantly check work emails and other correspondence, even on dates and other important social functions? Are they always working no matter what time of day? If you answered yes to any of these, you are indeed dating a workaholic. What you need to do is talk about it and come up with a set of mutually acceptable solutions. Communication and compromise are the most important qualities in any relationship.

If you are dating a workaholic, understand that their job is very important to them. They may need to work long hours or be on call. They may have to jump through hoops to meet deadlines. This person has their identity wrapped up in their job. These habits are part of what you love about this person, that their conscientious, passionate, and capable. To a certain extent you need to accept them for who they are, and they will have to accept you for who you are. Be that as it may, any over the top behavior has to be discussed and dealt with. Find some time, a quiet place that is private and without distractions, and have a long talk.

Don’t blame or judge. Instead, express how certain behavior in your significant other affects you and others around them. Have ideas on what the person can do to address these issues to make your relationship with them better, and their relationship with friends, family and other important people in their lives. Why are they like this? Are they starting a business? Are they gunning for a promotion? Or is this a family trait or just who he or she is? Discuss this and find out what makes this person tick. Think about your own attitudes about work. When you discuss the issues, tell him or her how it makes you feel. Don’t attack the work itself, this is where their identity comes from. Instead, try to brainstorm some ground rules that you both are satisfied with. If you have tried everything but you still aren’t satisfied, perhaps it’s time to seek greener pastures.

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