Things Women Should Understand About Men

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Things Women Should Understand About Men

Women are very beautiful, mysterious, complex creatures. It is their very complexity and mystery that at one time makes them so alluring and at another infuriating. Men however, though they can be complex, by and large aren’t as difficult or enigmatic. But still there are a few things many women should understand about men that often they don’t, and so cause static in their relationship.

For instance, do not look through his internet search history. Women often overthink their counterparts and then get into a tizzy when the answer is really simple. Trust that he’s a good guy deep down. But if you start to see what’s on his computer, you may be confused at what you might find. There may be something on there he searched on a whim or a dare, and you think it’s what his secret fetish is. Instead, if you are dating him, trust him and respect his privacy. Everyone deserves a little space. It will actually help the relationship to flourish. Know that you can’t change him. If you have your heart set on building the perfect man, start studying robotics. It isn’t going to happen in real life. One thing about robots though, they’re cold hearted. So find out what you can live with and learn to love the shortcomings in your man, and expect him to love your idiosyncrasies. If your man’s eyes wonder for a second, realize it’s not you or him, it’s mere biology. If his eyes linger for a while, then you may have a problem.

Don’t make him choose you over his friends. That’s an unfair position to put him in. He’ll pick his friends because they have a history and in spite of the imbalanced situation you put him in. Don’t allow anyone to come between you and your friends or family. Learn to forgive. Women will often bring up things from previous fights, even when it was years ago and they’ve said they’ve forgiven. But when they bring it up he knows automatically that she hasn’t forgiven or forgotten. It makes him ten times madder. Don’t bring up issues that are from the past when you said you had forgiven. When you do forgive, do it with your entire being, from the heart. That’s how men often do it. If you ask a question you’d better be ready for the answer. If you fear what that answer is, perhaps find out why you are asking. Why do you want to know?

Everyone has a history and no one should have that history used against them. Love is understanding and forgiveness in its essence, and without those what relationship can last? If you want to have a harmonious home life don’t overwhelm him as soon as he comes in the house. Let him cool down a little and then bring something up. Make him feel useful once in a while. Of course he wants you to be independent. But just like you he also wants to feel needed and important. He can see when you don’t wear the jewelry he bought you. So don’t tell him you love it and put it away forever. He wants you to seduce him, at least once in a while. Men feel insecure and need to be validated too. With these in hand your guy will be ga-ga every time you walk in the door. To learn more read the book, Understand Your Man: Secrets of the Male Temperament by Tim LaHaye.

Guys Are Drawn to the Damsel in Distress

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So many movies are the same. The lovely young maiden is trapped by the evil wretched villain. Her only hope, a knight in shining armor who swoops in to vanquish his opponent, free his lady love, sweep her up into his arms and ride off with her clutching him as the sun sets and the credits roll. But it isn’t just Hollywood that’s obsessed with the damsel in distress, guys fall for this female character, too. Many women, particularly in the West who are independent and can take care of themselves, hate this stereotypical heroine, and Hollywood and other media sources have heard and adjusted. This phenomenon still hangs on. So why are guys drawn to the damsel in distress? Mostly it’s because it makes him feel manly to be able to swoop in and save her. It makes him feel wanted, needed, important, a hero. It also makes her look feminine to him. Men throughout the ages have been traditionally the protectors and providers. Women, whether the modern feminist minded want to admit it or not, are also attracted to men who can make them feel safe and secure. Helping boosts a man’s ego. But saving a woman whom he also finds irresistible, that is a recipe for a man in love. Another thing, it’s easy to approach this woman. She needs help and he can provide it. It puts him at a superior standing.

This feeling of being a man, of doing manly things and becoming secured in one’s manliness helps to build the male ego. When he feels important, wanted, needed, and essential it feeds his ego, makes him feel manly and gives him a sense of pride that he is doing something good for a woman who deserves his services. The trick is to be a damsel in distress and at the same time not to be needy. This is easier said than done. Guys do want a woman to be independent. He wants her generally to have her own friends, career and passions in life. But he doesn’t want to feel as though she doesn’t need him at all. If you want to get closer to him but still maintain your independence, simply ask for his help in something. It could be a little matter. To fix something, ask for help in using a technical piece of equipment for instance if you are both working in the office together. The copier is always a source of consternation for any office worker. If there isn’t anything mechanical or technical around, ask for his advice or opinion on something. Thank him later on and let him know how much he helped. Once you’ve primed his ego in this manner he’s bound to warm to you. Remember not to use this all the time if you happen to be dating a guy or else you may come off as needy. But a little request for help now and then can pique his interest in you and let him know he’s needed and desired. For more tips on how to attract a man, read the advice of Ellen Dugan in her book, How To Enchant A Man: Spells to Bewitch, Bedazzle & Beguile.

Are you Emasculating Him?

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Nothing makes a man feel better about being in a relationship than when he feels his woman supports him, and helps secure him in his manhood. But oftentimes, women bring their men down and emasculate them without even realizing it. She often does it through her natural nurturing impulse or by being too honest but without realizing how he will take it, or how it sounds to him.  Are you emasculating him without even realizing it? Read on to see if you are guilty. Have you ever mentioned to your guy a generous gift your friend got from her boyfriend? If he bought her a diamond the size of a softball, or a month long trip to Paris, you may be taking him down a notch. Men’s egos are partly wrapped up in being an ample provider. A statement like this insinuates to him a comparison. And if he can’t buy the same type of thing for you, he may feel emasculated. Just mention it offhandedly and it shouldn’t bruise his ego. Realize what you’re doing with your eyes when your man is around. Do you give him proper eye contact? If you are always rolling your eyes, avoiding eye contact and looking bored, you are sending the message that he bores you or is of little importance. Be mindful.

Has the relationship been going on for a while and you’ve stopped dressing nicely? It’s okay to be comfortable around your guy and dress down. But if you do it all the time, and don’t put on a special outfit or lingerie for him, he may take it as you’re not attracted to him anymore. Wow him once in a blue moon. When he goes out of his way for you, buying you a special garment that doesn’t fit, a piece of jewelry that is like the one you wanted but not exactly it, or cooked you a gourmet meal but neglected to serve it the right way, don’t make any comments other than gushing praise. If he tried his best you’ll deflate his ego, even if it is just a teensy little critique. Instead, thank him generously and go and exchange the thing in private, or help to serve the meal properly, since you feel bad he’s done SO much already. Don’t beat around the bush too much. If you want to tell him something, don’t shower him with compliments first. He’ll know something is up, and the impact of the following statement will hurt far more. Don’t sugarcoat things; it emasculates him. Men communicate directly. That doesn’t mean you should insult him, but give it to him straight. Lastly, it’s okay not to be too needy. But if you do everything on your own, he’ll wonder what you need him for. Let him help out. Ask his advice. Even if you don’t use it, or don’t need it, it will make him feel needed, wanted, and loved. For more guidance on how to keep your man happy, read the advice of Laura Schlessinger in her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.