Romance, Guy Style

Couple-Relaxing

Romance, Guy Style

We all know what women find romantic. But what about when it comes to men?  How you do sweep a guy off his feet? Flowers, candle lit dinners and moonlit buggy rides aren’t it. It can be difficult to guess what gifts or gestures he’ll appreciate. But not to worry, here are some ideas. Here’s romance, guy style. First, when you do something nice for your guy, don’t expect something automatically in return. It kills the mood. You don’t want him to show up with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and just after you swoon say, “Hey, what are you going to do for me?” Instead, make sure a gesture or a gift is just that, an expression of your affection. Of course he’ll be overjoyed and won’t be able to wait to shower you with gifts and appreciation. But let it come naturally. Don’t force it or expect it.

For gesture ideas, why not cook him his favorite meal or bake his favorite dessert? Not so handy in the kitchen? Take him out to his favorite restaurant. If he’s a sports guy, take him to a sports bar where they have the best burgers for the game. For guys, it isn’t about a one size fits all thing like flowers or candy. It’s really about tailoring what his hobbies or interests are to your gift or gesture. Get to know your guy and what he likes and ideas will come up.

Tickets to the game or the concert, a nice watch, a weekend away, a ski trip, a party on the beach, a surprise camping trip to a national park he’s been itching to make it to, a massage, all of these will show him how much you care. Guys often plan dates, outings and so on, though certainly not always. But why not turn the tails on him and plan something that will knock his socks off? If you want to do something little, why not leave a little love note for him, or even a steamy one? Leave them in his briefcase, knapsack, jacket pocket, in a book he’s reading, his luggage or his satchel. Some guys don’t like it when things are too sappy. Others are the sensitive type. Know which type your guy is and write your notes accordingly. Why not write something funny or witty?

Sometimes just lazing around together can be romantic. Sitting by the pool with drinks, easing into a hot tub or coffee and a long brunch in a great café will do the trick. Don’t forget that for guys the physical aspect is an important part of romance. Surprising him in lingerie is always a great way to wow him. And it will make you two closer, too. Isn’t that what it’s all about? For more advice read, 31 Days to a Happy Husband: What a Man Needs Most from His Wife by Arlene Pellicane.

How to keep your Love Interest Interested

interested

How to keep your Love Interest Interested

In today’s electronically interconnected world where almost every single milestone, anecdote, musing or irritation is put out for the entire world to see, it can feel like no one reserves any mysteries anymore. We all serve ourselves up daily to the giant, unblinking eye of the internet. But with dating, developing an air of mystery is essential. A lot of us like being an open book. Though this can initially put someone who is interested at ease, it can quickly become boring. Some of us are givers and people pleasers. But if we continue to give all our power away, if we make ourselves too transparent or if we fail to weave the magic spell properly we soon find lovers dropping off. Our interest pulls away. For many today we don’t even get to the dating stage. We text or message back and forth but nothing tangible ever emerges. The fact is some people seek a challenge, albeit a well-crafted one. Also, giving your lover everything they want upfront without asking anything in return, without any enticement or unfinished questions takes the fun out of the subtle, provocative dance that is human courtship. The problem is you have to play hard to get, but not too hard. You have to advertise your worth without pricing them out of your market. Here’s how to keep your love interest interested without driving them off.

Think of a date as a performance. The other person should always be left wanting more. Sometimes in our anxiety we want to in a confessionary manner divulge everything about us and get it all out of the way. But it’s important to have a bit more confidence and reserve portions of ourselves, doling it all out slowly. Look at it as a story. You want yours to slowly unravel in a delicious way. Leave them with a cliffhanger here and there. When scheduling a meetup, don’t be too available or accommodating or else you are giving all your power away. Some people change their entire schedule to accommodate someone else. Others need an entourage as if they were Hollywood celebrities. But this can also be a barrier. How can you really get to know each other with so many other people in the way? Don’t purposely obstruct an unfolding romance either. Be available perhaps one or two nights out of the week. Whatever arrangements are being made, the other person should meet you halfway. There needs to be balance. If getting together with you is way too difficult then they may give up. On dates many feel the need to prove themselves. But take a deep breath, step back and realize too that they should also have to prove themselves to you.

If you have a flare for the dramatic, surprise them. Don’t be too predictable. Everyone has inner mysteries that they love to explore, interests they pursue and curiosities that fascinate them. Find out what yours are and slowly introduce these secret mysteries to your love interest. Don’t pressure them. If you ask them where things are going after the third date, or levy some sort of ultimatum you will look desperate, apply too much pressure and end up alone. But if you’ve successfully weaved your spell, you’ll have them enchanted and ready to follow you anywhere. Sometimes we focus totally on ourselves. Step back and consider their situation. Did this person just get out of a serious relationship? Beware of being the rebound. If you are made to compete with someone, drop your love interest immediately. This person does not have your best interest at heart. Instead, they are on an ego trip and playing senseless games. Where could the relationship go if they are willing to play with your heart in such a manner? If your potential date is still in a relationship with someone else, walk away. Otherwise, you can just be friends. Don’t ever sacrifice your friends, family or your children to accommodate them. This person is selfish, egotistical and self-centered. Playing hard to get means enjoying each step of the human love ritual in all its rich complexity and splendor. But make sure you are coming across as interested. If you are cold and reserved the entire time, they may not know. Subtly is the key. You want to send slow, subtle signals such as eye contact, a brush of the arm, for guys opening the door and leading her in gently by the small of the back, leaning in when the other talks and so on. Just be sure to send out signals that, although you are interested, you have a life too. For the ladies who want to know more pick up a copy of, How to Keep a Man: What Every Woman Needs to Know to Keep Him Interested and Happy for Life by Niel Schreiber.

Show you care no Matter What Day it is

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Show you care no Matter What Day it is

So Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Some people love it for a chance to cherish their loved one. Others hate the commercial Hallmark holiday aspect. Still others don’t want to be reminded of being single. But the truth is that we shouldn’t need a holiday to remind us how much we love that special someone in our life. In fact, if you are only using that particular holiday to show how much you care for one another, you will soon be seeing less Valentine’s Days, at least with that particular person.

Show you care no matter what day it is. If you keep feeling and showing your gratitude toward your romantic partner in words and gestures, they will return the favor. A virtuous cycle will be created that will sustain and enrich your love and relationship for as long as the two of you keep it up. Here are some ways to display the tempest of passion that lies deep in your heart. If your lover works in the service industry, whether a barista, a waiter or waitress, or tending bar, go in, flirt with them and leave a little tip. You can’t imagine what fun this will be, especially if your lover’s coworkers don’t know you.

Always hold the door open no matter what sex your lover is. If you don’t cohabitate but you do run errands together, pay for their groceries, especially if they have been struggling to make ends meet. If you do cohabitate pay something extra just to say I love you. When you are out and about running errands, buy them their favorite candy, or a little toy that reminds you of them. For an added bonus hide it somewhere in the house and let them find it unexpectedly. Whenever you notice a change in clothes or hairstyle, notice it and comment on it. Ladies, guys like it when you notice and compliment too. It’s not just for women. Call your sweetie at lunch or in the middle of the day just to see how their day is going. Tell them you couldn’t stop thinking about them. If the mood strikes you say something dirty, or just flirt with them. Make something for them, a knit scarf, a painting, a poem, a song, a tchotchke; make it from the heart. Something you made will always be worth more because of the talent, time and care you put into it. Make them their favorite meal, or surprise them with a dinner out on the town. There are lots of ways to show that special someone in your life how much you care. For more advice read, 31 Days to Build a Better Relationship by Clinton Power.

Little Changes You Can Make when You Become a Wife

married

Little Changes You Can Make when You Become a Wife

Congratulations on getting married! It’s such an exciting time, the beginning of a marriage when you two have made that great commitment before friends and family, sealed the deal with an incredible reception and hopefully a honeymoon that will make anyone jealous. But what about after that? Sure a long term commitment is a big deal. But a marriage is an even bigger one. You should start with accommodating one another and showing your appreciation for the other person, especially at this early stage of the game. Here are some little changes you can make when you become a wife to show your husband how devoted to him you are, and how much you care.

It’s not necessary of course but it will be a great way to set the tone in your marriage, and let him know how you feel. One thing you can do is update your relationship status on Facebook. It’s a great way to show him, and everyone you know how happy you are and secure that your marriage will last. It will also send exes and others who have shown interest that you are indeed off the market.  Next, when an invitation or event comes up, make sure to do your new husband the courtesy of checking with him. This is especially important if you want him to return the favor. Setting the tone is important. And what one person does in a marriage is often mirrored by the other. Courtesy is returned with courtesy, and inconsiderate moves are also returned in kind.

Eat dinner together when you can. It’s a great way to reconnect after a long day. Studies have shown that families who eat together are far more healthy and well-adjusted. And your husband is your family now, right? To your friends, as soon as you get married they start to think you aren’t fun anymore. Don’t spend all your time with your husband. Have a girl’s night out every once in a while. Go for drinks or coffee with friends. Enjoy spending time together. Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean you should be attached at the hip. In fact, couples who spend some time apart with their own friends and pursuing their own hobbies are far healthier and happier than those who spend every waking minute together. When you stop on the way home for a little treat, like a cupcake at that place you’ve been itching to try, bring him home one too. It will make him so happy. It’s such a small, easy gesture that will mean a lot to him.

Tell people that you’re married. Don’t do it when it doesn’t fit into the conversation that you’re having. But when appropriate let others at parties, work related events and so on know. When you’re a girlfriend it’s polite to let it come up. But when you’re married, it makes a man proud to know that you are announcing it proudly and staving off potential rivals, instead of hiding it because you want the flutter you feel when someone finds you attractive. It’s important to set the tone early. It’s not just a new phase of the same relationship, a marriage shows that something has changed. You’ve made a broad and deep commitment to one another. Show him the advantages he gets for making you his wife. Show him your love and appreciation. He’ll return the favor. For more advice read, Wife School: Where Women Learn the Secrets of Making Husbands Happy by Julie N. Gordon.

Make him Feel Manly

dinner

Make him Feel Manly

We all know that women need validation. She needs to feel beautiful, valued, respected and desired. But what about the man? Of course he needs validation too. And the smart wife and girlfriend pumps up her man’s ego. The one who wants to get dumped emasculates him. But how do you make him feel manly and give him the validation he needs?  First, attend office functions with him. Dress up and charm everyone there. Lift him up and help him figure out the social dynamic and get ahead. In a restaurant, ask him to order for you, if you trust him to do so. Praise him when the meal is amazing, and about how well he knows you.

Send him a flirty or steamy text every once in a while. Let him know how desirable he is. Write him a little love note and put it in his jacket pocket, backpack or brief case.  Brag about him to your girlfriends, when he gives you something you want to brag about, even better, brag about him to his friends, or his family. Give him a massage when you know he’s sore or stressed. Make him his favorite drink. Surprise him with his favorite meal or take him to his favorite restaurant. Don’t nit-pick when driving. Give him some slack. Ask his advice whenever you are making a big decision in your life and thank him for his advice.

Let him help you with something around the house, fix something, move something, it can be something small, even opening a jar. Then praise him. Show appreciation for him when he helps you. Let him pick an action flick or thriller for movie night every once in a while, and show enthusiasm for it. If he’s into a particular sports team, watch a game with him. Take him to a local game, and be excited about it. If he’s into the outdoors, take him away for a surprise weekend getaway skiing, surfing, off road biking, camping or whatever he’s into.

If he’s into cars take him to a local car show when it comes around. Go to the car dealership and pretend you are shopping for a car, and test drive that new ride he’s been eye balling. Why not rent a muscle car for the weekend? If he’s into history take him to a reenactment or a museum. Buy him interesting books as little gifts, or videos or even documentaries. If he’s into barbecue or chili, go to the local chili cook off. Why not cook chili together? Surprise him with a trip to the local barbecue restaurant. Buy him a barbecue dry rub or sauce sampler for him to try. Find out what manly things your guy does and show him how much you care, and validate his masculinity all at the same time. For more advice read, Keep Your Man: Seven Ways to His Happiness by Angelina G. Bell.