Common Pitfalls of Attracting a Bigger Girl


Common Pitfalls of Attracting a Bigger Girl

Are you interested in a lady whose shape doesn’t exactly fit the type on the covers of magazines? The truth is everyone is attracted to different things. As many know society and the media project unfair body images which make many women feel bad about their bodies. But the truth is lots of men love a woman with curves. In fact, many men prefer a bigger girl to a skinny one. There are lots of rumors about voluptuous girls on the internet. If you are interested in attracting a curvier woman don’t fall prey to the common pitfalls and stereotypes associated with attracting a bigger girl. For instance, there is a rumor floating around the internet that a fluffier girl is easier to attract as she has lower self-esteem. This isn’t true at all. There are women of all sizes that have high or low self-esteem. It all depends on the particular girl, not her size.

Women of all sizes have come to terms with and love who they are, just as women of all sizes have not. If you are approaching a girl whom you think is easy to pick up or attract only to realize that she isn’t, you’re going to be in way over your head. Instead, approach her as you would approach any woman, with class, humor, sophistication and an air of mystery. Some say that a bigger girl can defend and stick up for herself more, while a skinnier girl needs her man to defend her honor. The truth is women are women regardless of their size. If she has been offended you should stick up for her no matter her size. This is an unfounded stereotype.

When you approach her, don’t try to say things you think she’d like to hear due to her physique. For instance calling her cute is of course alright, but cute and cuddly should not be said. It’s actually offensive. Instead, tell her what you would tell any other woman. Tell her you love her eyes, her hair, or her smile. Tell her she’s beautiful, alluring, and special or however you genuinely feel when you approach her. Do not tell her that she’s got such a pretty face. It sounds like a dodge. Is it only her face you think is attractive? You are calling attention to her weight and could possibly make her feel self-conscious. But you want her to feel attractive. Just tell her she’s gorgeous or even that you love her curves.

Don’t tell her you are into big girls or that you like big, beautiful women. You are making her a fetish instead of liking her for the incredible person that she is. And is that all she is to you? Her size? Don’t objectify her. Celebrate her for who she is. Flirt with her. Dance with her. Ask for her number. Smile at her. Taker her out. Get to know who she is and compliment all the things you like about her. Don’t feel awkward dating her if others make you feel that way. If you really like her be yourself, be proud of dating her, and show everyone who you really are, how you feel about her and don’t worry about what others think. Love her for who she is. If she’s the right woman she’ll do the same for you. For more advice read, Big Big Love: A Sex and Relationship Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them) by Hanne Blank.

What to Know about Dating a Jamaican Man

jamaican man

Whether you know a Jamaican man in your own country, or you are on vacation and are interested in dating a Jamaican man, the culture is a bit different than that of the U.S. The stereotype is that Jamaican men are controlling, womanizing, and disrespectful of women. The truth is they are like any other group of people. Some Jamaican men don’t treat their women well. Others treat them like queens. We cannot stereotype or generalize, but the culture can be a little bit different. Study the culture if you are seriously interested in someone of the Jamaican persuasion. Here are some things to get you started. If you are going out for a date, or hanging at home, realize that they don’t have the same fast food culture that we in the U.S. do. In fact, Jamaicans eat lots of fresh food prepared at home. Fast food may be okay once in a while, but of course it isn’t healthy so he won’t appreciate eating it all the time. So instead, why not prepare something at home, go to a healthier restaurant, or perhaps ask him to make one of his favorite dishes? And what makes a better date than cooking together? Jamaicans are said to have a number of jobs at one time. The truth is that Jamaicans have a strong work ethic. So don’t be afraid to ask him what he does. It will probably make for interesting conversation.

Jamaicans are very family oriented. In American society, being taken to meet a man’s family means that he’s serious about you. In Jamaican culture, not so much. Very often someone in the family is throwing a party. If they are aware of you they will invite you. But that doesn’t mean, should he be seeing someone else, that he won’t bring her to the next family party. So don’t take an invite or a point where you meet his family as too big of a sign. Also, Jamaican men often take what their mothers say to heart. Understand that her opinion in his life in general, and of you specifically, may carry more weight than an American man’s. If you are a bit prudish, dating a Jamaican may not be for you. In American culture, talking about sex is done behind closed doors, never in front of the family. In Jamaican culture the attitude about sex is much more laid back, and may even be discussed in front of the family. Understand this and don’t be too embarrassed if you find yourself in the middle of some awkward, funny, and interesting conversations. Machismo and masculinity is very essential to the Jamaican lifestyle. If you have any gay friends, realize that your Jamaican interest may be homophobic. Talk to him about it before you bring your gay friends around. Lastly, Jamaican men are thought to be smooth. Don’t get too caught up in his accent or the way he can put sentences together to charm and sway you. You can learn more about dating Jamaican men through the advice of Empress Yuajah in her book, How to Date a Jamaican Man: How to Love and Understand a Jamaican Man.

Think Before Asking Interracial Couples these Questions

interracial couple relaxing in lounge

Dating outside your race used to be illegal in America. And even when the miscegenation laws were dropped in 1967, for decades afterward it was taboo to seek a lover outside your own race. Today, the majority of Americans are not shocked by interracial dating. In fact, interracial couples and even marriages are seen as acceptable. In some places in the country an interracial couple hardly warrants a second look. In other places, it’s still taboo. But the younger generation is accepting of it. Still, there are still growing pains. We haven’t hit full equality yet, or acceptance. There are still a lot of attitudes and stereotypes that need to be broken. In fact, interracial couples still get weird looks, stares, the cold shoulder depending on what region you are in, and strange, probing questions that are just plain rude. If you know an interracial couple, are in an interracial relationship, or just want to be prepared and enlightened, remember to make sure you think before asking interracial couples these questions. It will save them from embarrassment, and you, too. First, don’t ask how the person’s family feels about his or her partner. Of course, they are dating a person. The focus should be on the person first and their race second. And why are you asking? If you are asking what problems or issues an interracial couple faces, that’s a good question. But if you are shaming someone because they are dating someone from a different race, that’s quite another thing.

Don’t ask about racial stereotypes and if they fit the dating circumstance the person is in. Racial stereotypes are not truths. They are garish generalizations that are rude, closed minded and ignorant. Instead, ask about specifics of the person he or she is dating. Find out more about them as a person, not as a member of a particular race. With all of the uphill battles, the misunderstandings and the difficulties, wouldn’t it be better for you to stick to dating within your own race? The intention is clear. You are showing a certain sympathy for the person’s situation. But what about how they feel about this particular person? What about how they feel about that person’s culture? There are so many people that you can connect with on a deeper level. Why should someone’s race stand in the way? And why deny a whole host of candidates simply by what race they check off on survey forms? Don’t ask if they have a fetish for a certain race. This is not only rude it’s boiling down this person’s significant other to only their race. What if they are good looking, kind, considerate, goal oriented, and have a sparkling sense of humor? Are they still only their race? Perhaps there are lots of other reasons they’ve decided to date this person. Lastly, don’t ask if they get stared at if they go on dates. They do. Interracial couples are still outside the norm. But soon they will be in the mainstream. Be one of the first to recognize that interracial dating is going to increase in the future, making our society more beautiful, diverse, and richer than ever before. To learn more about interracial dating, read the advice of Christelyn D. Karazin and Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn in their book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate Mixing Race, Culture, and Creed.