If he’s got these in his Search History, Delete Him

Online-Flirting-Is-Cheating

If he’s got these in his Search History, Delete Him

We are all guilty of looking at things we shouldn’t on the internet from time to time. But there are certain things that cross the line. Respect and trust need to exist in any relationship for it to be healthy and happy. But there are just certain things a husband or boyfriend shouldn’t be seeking out. If he’s got these websites in his search history, delete him from your life or expect trouble the next time you sign on to his shenanigans. It’s perfectly normal for a guy to seek out some porn. They are guys, they are going to look. But if you happen to find an over-obsessive amount, this is a deal breaker. It may mean he’s addicted to porn. He could then have trouble pleasing you.

Another phenomenon that is occurring, guys who expect their wives and girlfriends to act like porn stars in the bedroom. While you may be all about exploring your kinky side, just understand that the women in these films never get their needs met. So if you want him to go down south, or you wish to explore some of your own fantasies, you’d better come right out and talk about it or it could all be over. Another deal breaker in this realm is porn that is too extreme. Sure he may have a fetish which you enjoy or are at least willing to accommodate. But if you find out he’s really into some sick stuff, it’s time to hit the road. Next thing you know he’ll want to bring some of that stuff into the bedroom. FYI, if you’re up for it, a little bit of good quality porn between consenting adults can actually stimulate your love life form time to time.

If he’s been on dating sites since you two have become an item, get rid of him. He’s a player, a narcissist; he’s self-absorbed and doesn’t care about your feelings. He’s looking to cheat. One side note, make sure you two have verbalized that you are in a committed relationship. Some girls just assume. If you haven’t said it, it isn’t true. When you are only dating you can’t expect him to shut down his dating profile. You never know what might happen. He’s keeping his options open or still deciding on you. You may be in the same phase. But if you’ve said the three little words, be mine only and they said yes, then this guy is a heartless scumbag. He’ll give you a line of crap. If you fall for it, he’ll cheat on you anyway, and you’ll be in more pain and hate yourself worse for failing to see through his jive.

If your man has a long history of surfing gay websites, you need to confront him about it. There’s nothing wrong with different sexual orientations. If you fantasize about having two guys, and the relationship doesn’t mean that much to you emotionally, you may find it exhilarating. Otherwise, your man may run off with another man. How will you feel then? If you find him on Ashley Madison or some other type of cheating website, sign off on this relationship. He’s a cheater and a sneak. For help moving on if or when your break up read, You Didn’t Want Him Anyway: Get Over Any Man in 5 Simple Steps by Claire Casey.

Are you the Chick on the Side?

woman-waiting-for-text

Are you the Chick on the Side?

Are you dating someone who is acting funny? There are lots of players out there. If you are looking for a long term relationship you don’t want to waste your time. And there are lots of smooth players out there that will make you feel as if you are the only one, when in reality they are balancing a bunch of different girls at one time. So what are the warning signs? How do you know when you are the chick on the side?

First, have you ever been invited to his place? Do you even know where he lives? It’s okay if you two have just started dating. But after a couple of months or so, if you haven’t seen where a guy lives it’s just plain weird. He may live with someone or he has so many girls in and out that he doesn’t want to risk someone leaving something and tipping off one of his dates. He could also live with a woman and he’s afraid of tipping her off. He could also be embarrassed by where he lives, especially if you make more than him. What about his social networking sites? Are you two friends on Facebook, Twitter and so on? If not, does he have some excuse why not or does he say he doesn’t use these sites? If so, he may not want his main squeeze to be aware of you, so he locks down his sites or, if he’s a player, doesn’t use them for anyone but his closest inner circle to keep from being caught.

Is your guy territorial about his phone? If he takes all his calls in another room, turns the volume way down so you can’t hear it, and always has it locked than he may have someone else. He knows that his phone is one of the weak points, and an easy way to get caught, and so has minimized the chance of you overhearing something that will break the whole thing wide open. Does this guy make time for you? If he only texts you late at night, is always busy, and calls and texts intermittently, sometimes days later, then you are probably the chick on the side. A man makes time for the woman he’s interested in. So if he’s acting this way he is making time for her, not for you. If he has a really busy schedule however, he’s in medical school, receiving intense training, or some other career that is hogging all of his time, or if he’s an intense workaholic perhaps he’s committed to his job rather than another woman. Then you have to discover whether or not you can date someone who has limited time to spend on the relationship.

Does your guy plan everything out? If you want to meet unplanned for a lunch date, or you invite him somewhere right out of the blue can he go? If all of your dates are planned days or even weeks in advance, if he is never available on the fly this is bad news. He probably has to lie to his main squeeze to see you and can’t get away. Plan something spontaneous and enticing and see if he takes the bate or still refuses. Look for more than one warning sign. See if you can catch him. Or ask him directly if he’s seeing someone else. Don’t waste your time with someone who won’t make you the focus of his love life. Find someone who will. You are so worth it. For more advice read, Don’t Hate the Player, Learn the Game: How to Spot Ineligible Eligible Bachelors by Lyn Lewis, Ph.D.

Reasons Women Reject Men

rejecting woman

Reasons Women Reject Men

Rejection is so painful. It can feel like a kick between the legs. It’s actually closer to a physical blow than you think. A study out of the University of Michigan found that the pain felt by rejection is similar to that suffered from physical pain.  Whether she’s just not interested anymore, she’s seeing someone else, or she gives some other reason, the pain strikes deep. Why does it hurt so badly? Los Angeles sex therapist Brandy Engler states, “If women don’t like you, your social status is lower. It affects the way a man sees himself.” Once you’ve felt rejected it may be hard to climb out of that feeling. According to research out of Albert Einstein College, rejection looks very much like addiction in terms of the areas of the brain it affects. If you learn about the most common reasons women reject men and learn from them you can come out the other side a stronger, more capable and more confident you. The first most common rejection is when you ask her out and find yourself declined. Don’t give up right away. Most guys are crushed, get upset, or pull up stakes. Instead, remind her about what a powerful connection you two have, or that you have so much in common. Pointing out commonalities is likely to set you apart from the others clamoring for her attention, rather than just telling her how attractive you find her. While you’re at it, when selecting a date, make sure you do so on common interests, not just looks. You have a better chance of making a good match.

The second most common rejection, when you go for the kiss and she turns away. Ask her whether you are moving too fast. If she fails to respond, drop the issue. Don’t push or you are liable to make things worse. There are many reasons women do this. She may think the relationship is moving too fast for her. Perhaps she’s playing hard to get. Or she just may not be attracted to you. Stay cool. Hang in there and see what reason surfaces. You’ll know how to proceed once you find out why. You can always send her a text later asking why. If you are out on a date with her, try to break the touch barrier early and in mild, subtle ways. Grab her hand or squeeze her forearm when making a point. Put your hand at the small of her back and lead her into the venue. How she reacts to milder touching will indicate how she will respond to the kiss.  One terrible rejection is when things seem to be going great, then all of a sudden she tells you it isn’t working. Did she find someone else? Or is there a lack of chemistry? Sometimes two people seem so compatible on screen, say when you put two dating profiles side by side, but in real life, not so much. Also, pressure can dampen chemistry. Find ways to relax and enjoy each other’s company. Get her to give you one more chance and find the right location. You may see sparks fly yet. To learn more about the problems men have in love, read The Men on My Couch by Brandy Engler, Psy.D.

Signs he Isn’t Dense, Just Not into You

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So there’s this cute guy you’ve been flirting with. You’ve been sending out the signals, but so far he’s an enigma. Or else you’re getting nothing back. What are you supposed to do? Keep flirting and look like an idiot or let this one go? But he’s so cute you don’t want to give up. You’ve invested so much already. Are there signs he isn’t dense, just not into you? Of course there are. And they aren’t as tough to see as you might think. Has your love interest ever said you can tag along or come to an event if you want? You weren’t directly invited and this is what he said, if you want. A man who is interested in you definitely wants you to come. He invites you. So this is a sign he’s not into you. If you want to test him, find out an event he is going to and casually mention it to him. See if he invites you or not. Have you two been close? What happens when you enter his personal space? Try standing closer to him. How intensely do you flirt? Do you twirl your hair, laugh at his jokes, and give good eye contact and body language? Do you lean in when he speaks? Touch his arm or shoulder and see how he reacts. If he shies away, he definitely isn’t into you. If he warms up he may have not picked up on your signals. Is he shy? Guys who have low self-esteem may need a nudging. You may have to give him your number. Find a cute reason to program it into his phone. If he is very private about his phone and won’t let you touch it, be aware. He probably has someone else he’s seeing.

Has he ever acted too busy to talk to you? If he’s too busy he isn’t that into you. Men always have time for women they are interested in, unless it’s an emergency or he’s late for an important meeting or something serious. Even then he’ll take a short little side bar with you. He may have someone else or be in a relationship already if this is the case. Whether he is or isn’t, if someone is too busy for you, why do you want to hang out with them? Someone you want to get involved with should have time for you. And how can they make your relationship a priority in their life when they can’t make time for you right in the beginning? How will they act later on? If you are already on calling and texting terms with this person, but you’re not sure where it’s going, does he ever forget to call or text? If so, he’s not that into you. If he was he would make calling or texting a priority. And who doesn’t have time to text, honestly? If you two are hanging out already but you get mixed signals and you don’t know if you are just hanging out or if it’s a date, what is it like when you guys are together? Does he call you at the last minute and tell you he doesn’t plan anything, but always keeps everything spontaneous? No one is really like that. If he can’t be bothered to plan a real date with you, he isn’t really interested. A man who’s really interested would go out of his way to show you that he cares. To learn about the numerous ways to tell if a guy is into you, read the advice of Luanna Wallis in her book, Does He Like Me Or What? 60 Surefire Signs That He’s Interested.