Finding the Right Person

match

Finding the Right Person

Dating around is great. You get to meet so many different people, see your real likes and dislikes, and have so many romantic adventures. But there comes a time in almost everyone’s life, from the love bug who just hasn’t found the one to the player who is tired of the game, when it’s time to settle down and find love. Here are some strategies to help in finding the right person. First, you need to change your mindset completely. Most people date willy-nilly, pushed by the winds of fate to this person or to that. But this will be a conscious effort. It’s like looking for a job, the important part is meeting people and networking until what you’re looking for rises to the surface.

Now that you are in the proper mindset, don’t set out alone. Elicit the help of your friends. Who knows you better than them? You’ll want similar qualities to who they are, and they’ll know you so well that they’ll be great help. Send out a BOLO or Be On the Lookout. In other words have your friends and even family, if you are comfortable, on the alert for singles that match your criteria. It’s much easier when you have a whole legion of matchmakers at your side. You don’t have to sound desperate. Just tell them you haven’t met anyone you like lately and so you’re changing tactics. They know what you like so it should be easy. And offer to do the same for your single friends too. It makes it more like a singles exchange.

Take a look around. Sometimes people are emotionally involved with someone already, but they’ve written that person off for one reason or another. Do you have a friend or a coworker that you love to chat with? Do you guys share intimate details of you lives? Do you even have a pact that you’ll end up together if you or they never find anyone else? If you can picture yourself kissing this person than you are already into them. Shake off the denial. Have a talk with others that have seen you interact. And then why not hang out, flirt a little and slowly see if there’s any interest in taking things a bit further. You can always have some wine, and tell them it was the wine talking. A good friend would excuse and forget a little faux paus. But if it does work out you’ll have the right person for you, and they were in your midst all along. How funny and cute.

Attend social occasions, even if you don’t feel like it. Pump yourself up, slap a smile on and go out and mingle. You never know who you are going to meet. Too many singles have a negative attitude about social functions and don’t go, missing an opportunity to meet someone new. Or you might meet someone who knows someone perfect for you. So no social occasion is ever a waste. Look out for singles events in your area. Take up a new hobby that’s social; a sports team, book club, writers or artists club, whatever you fancy. And try internet dating. You’ll land the one soon and have a whole lot of fun in the process. For more advice read, Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life by Katherine Woodward Thomas.

Making Time for Love as a Single Parent

singleparent

Making Time for Love as a Single Parent

Single parents are pressed for time no question. After homework, colds, soccer practice, career, and taking care of the household, who has time for dating? But don’t despair. Your love life doesn’t have to be consigned to the junk bins of time. In fact, there are plenty of single parents who squeeze in time for a vibrant love life. Want to know how they do it? Follow these steps to find out how others like yourself are making time for love as a single parent.

If you can’t get a sitter or find some time to go out and meet people, use your computer. Sign up for an online dating site, or even a few dating sites. Make some time to go through them each day. Respond to something, chat, flirt, or even send someone a message. Do it at night instead of falling asleep in front of the TV or in the morning before everyone else gets up. Reach out to your social network. Invite friends and family to set you up. Send an email and ask them to ask friends of friends who is single and who they can set you up with. It isn’t desperate, it’s inventive. You may soon have more dates than you can shake a pogo stick at. When it’s time to go out on a date, get one of your single friends to watch the kids. You can watch their kids when it’s time for them to go out. Pick lunch dates or meet for coffee if that’s more convenient. Find the times when you aren’t playing parent and make those date times.

If your kids are old enough to be home alone, let them. But keep them busy. Get DVDs, crafts, and other things to keep them occupied while you’re out of the house. When you go to functions, talk to other people, mingle. See if there are other single parents. You should have plenty to talk about, whether it’s a child’s soccer game or the science fair. Why not chat people up and if they are interested and you are too, see if you can meet sometime later. Actually, see if there are events in your town or city for single parents to meet. It’s much easier to date a single parent, there are plenty in every area including yours, and you will have a common subject to talk about and break the ice over.

Try seeing if there are any Meetup or Eventbrite groups or events in your area. Check with the local singles bar, singles event planning companies, the civic center in your town or city, or your house of worship if you are religious. Sometimes certain radio or entertainment venues have singles events, perhaps check into these as well. Check out Parents without Partners and see if they have a chapter or organize events near you. Their website is parentswithoutpartners.org. They have guest speakers, workshops, study groups and social activities. Just because you are a single parent doesn’t mean you can’t find love. It just means you have to be flexible and use your time wisely. For more advice read, Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal.

Love Tech

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Love Tech

It’s hard to meet someone in the modern world with so much time spent on career, education, family and other responsibilities. Luckily there is some nice new love tech that can help you find that special someone. Take a look at these modern smart phone innovations and see if they may work for you. Do you want a mobile matchmaker that can locate singles for you in your neighborhood, in your area, or where you’re hanging on a Saturday night? An app out of Singapore helps you do just that. You can download the BEDD software at bedd.com. All you do is set up a profile along with a photo, answer some questions on what you are looking for in a date and when you’re out and about it will alert you to other subscribers in your area. When a match is found both phones let their owners know. Sense Six, a similar service is hitting U.S. shores soon. Keep an eye out for it if you want to know say how many eligible cuties are on your daily commute. It could help find someone at a party, on campus, at work, while shopping by yourself, out on the town, or when you may least expect it. And since you’re both subscribers it can help you break the ice, put you on equal footing and give you lots to talk about. You could even introduce them to that great sushi place right up the block. How did they miss that place?

Have you ever drunk dialed someone? Sure it can feel so right at the time. But in hindsight it’s often embarrassing. How can you stop this from happening? Never fear, an app called Dialing Under the Influence by Virgin Mobile Australia has come to save you. You have to enter 333 plus the number you want to avoid dialing while under the influence. You won’t be able to get through until six A.M. the next morning. The cost is a quarter per call. What if you are a shy guy who doesn’t have any female friends or any women in his life he can practice on? How can you ever get a girlfriend when you have no experience? In Hong Kong and other places there are virtual girls online to cut your teeth on. Enter V-girl.com. This is a virtual girlfriend you can woo like a real girl. But be warned. These aren’t your laid back tomboys. These are some serious high maintenance women. Think of a Tamagotchi pet on steroids. But instead of walks and food, you have to provide them with gifts, flowers, and lots of sweet talk. It’s not a charity date. You have to pay too and the charges are taken off of your credit card. The more time you spend the further your relationship with her develops. Ignore her you’ll get the cold shoulder. For more advice on meeting someone new, read Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together by Kathryn Alice.

Singles Spelling Bees

singles

Singles Spelling Bees

Are you a logophile trying to find your ultimate opponent in Scrabble, crossword puzzles and more? Do you love having an in depth knowledge of words and how to spell them? Do you want to find the perfect mate to share your love of words and word competition? If you said yes to one or more of these than a singles spelling bee might just be for you. Fueled by the Broadway musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, the bestselling book Bee Season and the documentary Spellbound, this newest twist on spelling bees was created by Zac Kushner. Kushner works for a company called Makor which specializes in out of the ordinary social events. The focus of these events, such as the singles spelling bee, is fun, which takes the pressure off. And all the participants have a love of words and word competition in common, so there will be lots to talk about. And who doesn’t want to find a witty, cerebral sweetie to share all your favorite things about words with? Isn’t one of the great visions of life sharing your autumn years doing crossword puzzles on a back screened in porch over coffee, after breakfast?

This is the new way people are meeting and dating. And these single spelling bees have become quite popular. The event in New York City has an open bar which can help calm those pre-spelling jitters. But the single spelling bees seem more fun and less tense than the grade school versions. Another difference is that there are categories. Mythical creatures, uncomfortable things, and band names were some of them. These events are supposed to be lively, energetic and fun. And teams are sure to pull together over victory or defeat. When you are on the same team together a camaraderie is formed, which may help get those romantic juices flowing, and help get past the awkwardness to see if there is any chemistry. Some answers that came up were Chupacabra, Chlamydia and Snoop Dogg. Don’t forget the two g’s on that last one. Of course, if you attend any of these events make sure your focus is on meeting people and having fun. Those with a more competitive bend may lose sight of the real reason for the event. Even though it’s great to win, it’s better to display good sportsmanship and not to step on any toes. Those might be the cute toes of someone you might want to get to know better. So instead, make sure you keep it lighthearted. But who knows, maybe you’ll be sharing a great story of how you met, and the word they helped you spell over drinks with friends just a short time from now.

Singles Shopping Night

shopping

Singles Shopping Night

You always see scenes in the movies or on TV of people meeting in the supermarket or department store. He says something witty, she smiles demurely and that’s it, they’re an item. But what about real life? It’s hard to find out who is single and who isn’t. The environment can be intimidating. What if you get shot down in front of all those strangers? But in Europe, a new trend is taking the teeth out of all of these issues as stores are sponsoring singles shopping nights. It all started in a Walmart in Germany where a customer complained that with all the shopping and other chores she had to do she couldn’t find a boyfriend. After that two employees took up her complaint as a challenge. Soon singles nights were offered in stores not only in Germany but also in Britain, South Korea and Puerto Rico. But it hasn’t made it to the U.S. just yet. In Germany, the Walmart sees about 400 singles at each event. It takes place between six and eight on Friday nights. Singles are given a red bow to put on their carts to point them out to other singles. Some stores offer a rose to offer to someone who has caught your eye. And many have flirt stations where you can try wines or chocolates and chat up that lovely person you saw in the shoe department or that cute guy over in sporting goods.

The majority of attendees are single parents who have a hard time meeting other singles due to a busy schedule of work, housekeeping and childcare. Being able to fit in the shopping and having the opportunity to meet someone at the same time is considered a blessing. There are plans to bring this experience to U.S. stores soon. In the meantime, realize that it’s okay to chat people up in stores. There are plenty of opportunities to break the ice and start chatting with someone you find attractive. If they are looking at an item you own or know something about, speak up about it. Give them your email and tell them that it’s just in case there are any other things you can help them with, and wink. Those little stations where you can try new foods are great places to chat. You can always talk about how good or how awful something is. And if you both like the little bit of pasta or sausages, you can tell them what a great cook you are, or if not what restaurant makes the best pasta dishes in your city, and ask them for their number so that maybe you two can go together some time. If you really don’t know the greatest pasta restaurant say that you do, and look it up later. It’s not lying, it’s being mysterious and piquing their interests. You don’t need an organized program to pick someone up at a store, though it helps.  If you are a single parent looking to date again, read Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal and Dennis Rainey.