Lots of women come out of a divorce or a long term relationship with no idea what they are looking for in their next love interest. After the healing process, lots of ladies want to get back out there and experience the dating scene. And why wouldn’t you? With internet dating it has never been easier to find singles to chat with, go out with and perhaps start a new romance with. But if you don’t know what you are looking for it can be easy to fall for Mr. Wrong. Red flags may stream across your face, yet you’ll sit there contently oblivious to what is about to sneak up on you and smack you across the face.
Consider what you are really looking for. Have a list, but don’t make your standards too high. Instead, you should include things like a good sense of humor, trustworthiness, intelligence, conscientiousness and the two of you should have chemistry. Now that you have an idea of what you are looking for, it pays to know which guys to watch out for as well. First, look out for the walking wounded. Both men and women have this problem. This is someone who never healed from their past relationship but instead jumped right into the next one. He has problems with his self-esteem. He’s looking for a rebound or a quick jump in the hay.
The next guy you want to watch out for is the smooth operator. He’ll have you in bed so fast you won’t know what hit you. And by the time you can scoop up your clothes and ask where this relationship is going, he’s out the door, won’t return your calls and has disappeared out of sight. These guys generally know what the right lines are and can push the right buttons. If the guy who is sweet talking you seems to be using lines, if he’s too good to be true, if your b.s. sensors are screaming and you have a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach about him, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. If you aren’t sure and none of these obvious warning signs are going off, evaluate his speech. What does he say to you? Are his comments mostly about your physical appearance? Does he show concern for the things you are interested in? Do you have deep intellectual conversations or is everything kept on the surface?
Ask for a little favor. See if he is willing to do it. If he backs away or always has excuses why he can’t help you or give in to a small request, this relationship isn’t for you. Is this guy scared of commitment? If you are looking for commitment and he has never been in a serious relationship, chances are he won’t now. If you have been dating a long time but he doesn’t want to use labels like “girlfriend”, you aren’t ever going to get a commitment out of him. Evaluate if you are okay with that. For more advice read, Dating Advice for Women: Stop the Dating Time Wasters and Go Out and Pick a Winner by Lisa Kelly.