Guys to Watch Out for

watchout

Guys to Watch Out for

Lots of women come out of a divorce or a long term relationship with no idea what they are looking for in their next love interest. After the healing process, lots of ladies want to get back out there and experience the dating scene. And why wouldn’t you? With internet dating it has never been easier to find singles to chat with, go out with and perhaps start a new romance with. But if you don’t know what you are looking for it can be easy to fall for Mr. Wrong. Red flags may stream across your face, yet you’ll sit there contently oblivious to what is about to sneak up on you and smack you across the face.

Consider what you are really looking for. Have a list, but don’t make your standards too high. Instead, you should include things like a good sense of humor, trustworthiness, intelligence, conscientiousness and the two of you should have chemistry. Now that you have an idea of what you are looking for, it pays to know which guys to watch out for as well. First, look out for the walking wounded. Both men and women have this problem. This is someone who never healed from their past relationship but instead jumped right into the next one. He has problems with his self-esteem. He’s looking for a rebound or a quick jump in the hay.

The next guy you want to watch out for is the smooth operator. He’ll have you in bed so fast you won’t know what hit you. And by the time you can scoop up your clothes and ask where this relationship is going, he’s out the door, won’t return your calls and has disappeared out of sight. These guys generally know what the right lines are and can push the right buttons. If the guy who is sweet talking you seems to be using lines, if he’s too good to be true, if your b.s. sensors are screaming and you have a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach about him, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. If you aren’t sure and none of these obvious warning signs are going off, evaluate his speech. What does he say to you? Are his comments mostly about your physical appearance? Does he show concern for the things you are interested in? Do you have deep intellectual conversations or is everything kept on the surface?

Ask for a little favor. See if he is willing to do it. If he backs away or always has excuses why he can’t help you or give in to a small request, this relationship isn’t for you. Is this guy scared of commitment? If you are looking for commitment and he has never been in a serious relationship, chances are he won’t now. If you have been dating a long time but he doesn’t want to use labels like “girlfriend”, you aren’t ever going to get a commitment out of him. Evaluate if you are okay with that. For more advice read, Dating Advice for Women: Stop the Dating Time Wasters and Go Out and Pick a Winner by Lisa Kelly.

Can you Trust a Guy who’s Super Smooth?

SECOND DATE

Can you Trust a Guy who’s Super Smooth?

He’s got the style, the designer clothes, that stunning haircut and a style that just makes a lady want to scream. He’s super smooth, but can you really trust a guy like that? Or deep down are they all players trying to etch another notch onto the bedpost? The truth is we are all human. No one should be pigeon holed and stereotyped. Some guys have presence and are naturally charismatic. Just like any other type of person with any other trait, some are good, some are bad and some are neutral. So how do you know when you’ve found someone genuine or a guy who is putting on a façade? How can you tell if he uses his Jedi mind powers for good or evil? Like any guy you should take things slow, watch him carefully, subtly and see what really lies underneath that smooth veneer. Here are some indicators on whether you’ve got a good one or one to throw back. “You’re so lucky to be with me,” shows that he is overconfident. This might be a narcissist. That’s like the axe murderer of love. He might be interesting and fun, but girl you should run. The relationship is going to be nothing but you giving in to his every wish, and him taking with nothing coming back the other way. “I’m so lucky to be with you.” Here’s a guy that appreciates you. This shows generosity, respect and appreciation, pretty good qualities for a relationship.

When you got a guy who does nothing but talk about himself, it may seem exciting at first. But sooner or later you realize that he doesn’t want to be with you, he just craves your attention. If you want to play second fiddle to a guy everywhere you go, that’s fine. But sooner or later it’s going to become tiresome. What about all the gorgeous, beautiful, amazing qualities about you? When does your turn to shine come? It’s much better to hear “Let’s talk about you.” Some men will keep you guessing with their personality. You never really get to know who they really are. If you are dating someone like this just realize this isn’t the settling down type. Instead, look for the guy who is an open book. This is where intimacy and trust can derive from. “I’m bored.” This type of guy is self-centered. He won’t sacrifice for you. In fact, he expects to be entertained constantly. He may even get bored with you.  “I’m in no hurry—let’s see where this relationship goes.” This is a more honest assessment of the dating process. This guy is level headed and wants to be open to having a relationship while at the same time he also knows that things kind of work out as they do. You can’t predict how two people are going to relate to each other. Seeing a relationship unfold is one of the most exciting and interesting points of love. There are tons of guys out there who are good natured, good hearted and single. The trick is to wait and let him reveal his inner nature to you. Then you will know how to proceed. For more dating advice, read To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy by Gregg Michaelsen.

What to Know about Dating a Jamaican Man

jamaican man

Whether you know a Jamaican man in your own country, or you are on vacation and are interested in dating a Jamaican man, the culture is a bit different than that of the U.S. The stereotype is that Jamaican men are controlling, womanizing, and disrespectful of women. The truth is they are like any other group of people. Some Jamaican men don’t treat their women well. Others treat them like queens. We cannot stereotype or generalize, but the culture can be a little bit different. Study the culture if you are seriously interested in someone of the Jamaican persuasion. Here are some things to get you started. If you are going out for a date, or hanging at home, realize that they don’t have the same fast food culture that we in the U.S. do. In fact, Jamaicans eat lots of fresh food prepared at home. Fast food may be okay once in a while, but of course it isn’t healthy so he won’t appreciate eating it all the time. So instead, why not prepare something at home, go to a healthier restaurant, or perhaps ask him to make one of his favorite dishes? And what makes a better date than cooking together? Jamaicans are said to have a number of jobs at one time. The truth is that Jamaicans have a strong work ethic. So don’t be afraid to ask him what he does. It will probably make for interesting conversation.

Jamaicans are very family oriented. In American society, being taken to meet a man’s family means that he’s serious about you. In Jamaican culture, not so much. Very often someone in the family is throwing a party. If they are aware of you they will invite you. But that doesn’t mean, should he be seeing someone else, that he won’t bring her to the next family party. So don’t take an invite or a point where you meet his family as too big of a sign. Also, Jamaican men often take what their mothers say to heart. Understand that her opinion in his life in general, and of you specifically, may carry more weight than an American man’s. If you are a bit prudish, dating a Jamaican may not be for you. In American culture, talking about sex is done behind closed doors, never in front of the family. In Jamaican culture the attitude about sex is much more laid back, and may even be discussed in front of the family. Understand this and don’t be too embarrassed if you find yourself in the middle of some awkward, funny, and interesting conversations. Machismo and masculinity is very essential to the Jamaican lifestyle. If you have any gay friends, realize that your Jamaican interest may be homophobic. Talk to him about it before you bring your gay friends around. Lastly, Jamaican men are thought to be smooth. Don’t get too caught up in his accent or the way he can put sentences together to charm and sway you. You can learn more about dating Jamaican men through the advice of Empress Yuajah in her book, How to Date a Jamaican Man: How to Love and Understand a Jamaican Man.