TIME Magazine App Predicts when you should get married

young-woman-texting

TIME Magazine App Predicts when you should get married

Do you know when the perfect date for your wedding is? If not a new app can tell you. Brought to you by TIME Magazine, this new app predicts when you should get married. It works by first analyzing your Facebook friends’ relationship statuses and ages. Then it determines the median age of your friends’ marriages and proposes that you marry about the same age as they were.

In terms of their calculation procedure, the app only uses friends who have selected to include their date of birth in their Facebook profile, up to and including the year. Researchers for TIME believe that only a quarter of Facebook users include this information on their profile. The statuses the software recognizes are “engaged,” “married,” “in a civil union” or a “domestic partnership.” This is a small number of the average Facebook profile’s friends. One reporter using the app said that it only selected 10 out of her 900 Facebook friends as these were the only ones who chose to report their relationship status. Many others keeping their status private were then not counted in the app’s calculations.

Though it’s interesting it doesn’t seem as though anyone is planning their marriage or dating life around this app, nor should they. It makes one wonder what the point of this app is in general. Is it merely to elicit interest in TIME? There certainly isn’t a perfect date or age to get married. And with the inflated divorce rate, though it has dropped a bit for some groups, having artificial pressures or anxieties tossed atop an already large pile from one’s family and society seems ludicrous and outlandish. Certainly people today know that marriage isn’t something to be taken lightly. Though it has a fun aspect it can make someone who is single feel bad about their situation, as if there aren’t enough things that do that already.

Why not forgo this app and turn to a dating one instead? There are lots of them. Some select singles in your area and make it easy for you to chat with them. Online dating is a great way to do it too. Remember to give the person you meet a chance. Serial dating can be fun in the beginning but can wear you out in the end. If you are dating someone do not use this app to pressure them into marriage. Nor should you show the selected date to your significant other as anything other than a joke. It could backfire on you. Then you’ll be contacting TIME and all over the news for reporting that their marriage app broke up your relationship. Bet that isn’t something they saw coming. Who could have predicted it? If you’re thinking of taking it to the next level in your relationship read, Before You Say “I Do”: A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts.

BDSM Dating App Helps the Kinky Get Together

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BDSM Dating App Helps the Kinky Get Together

Tinder has been so successful it has bred a near universe of similar apps with their own twist on its successful model.  If you are a shy guy, there’s Catch. Stylish sack jumpers who are also cerebral can meet on Hinge. Those who are very health conscious can find each other on SaladMatch. To select someone who knows how to give a proper salute try Uniform Dating. If you care about the person’s personality and not so much their looks give Willow a try. Black professionals can find possible mates on Meld. Try The League if you are wealthy and the other person’s net worth is of importance to you. The latest in this dating app tsunami is for those who want to get their kink on and find a partner that’s into the kinds of freaky things they want to do. Take Tinder and BDSM, put it in a blender and what shoots out is Whipir. This app does in fact allude to the likeness of the prior landscape-changing app. They also claim to be the only platform solely for the BDSM community. It is important to find someone who is open-minded enough, and trusting enough to allow us to explore our deep desires, and help us find out more about ourselves. We do so when we lead someone else through their deepest fantasies as well.

Whipir is user friendly offering free calls, real-time messaging and video chats. The usability of dating apps is one reason why people are pivoting away from the old-time desktop version which requires a lengthy profile process and often membership fees. Apps are so convenient and cost little if anything to use. Whipir is easy to navigate. You upload a normal photo, answer a few questions including your gender, location, kinky interests and level of experience and away you go. Your choices filter out other members and hopefully put you in front of people, or put people in front of you, that are looking for what you are. Then you can chat up those who seem as though they have potential and even send out a few “sparks.” These are interests you can propose to someone you might like to experience them with. This isn’t just for the initiated. Whipir invites the curious or those who have only just started exploring to join in the dark, titillating fun.

There are what they describe as “kink categories.” These include materials, accessories, objects, sounds and fashion. If you are into latex, love the smell of leather or can’t wait to be tied down, you imply it here. One unfortunate drawback though, it doesn’t get any more specific than these categories. So if you want to spank someone there’s no way of specifically knowing without chatting and finding out what another is into. Chief communications officer Daniel Sevitt told Refinery 29 that these categories were left vague on purpose. This was because they wanted to allow a broad interpretation of kink, and even to allow users themselves to define their own fantasies and interests, without the platform dictating it to them. There is another BDSM site called FetLife. They bill themselves as the Facebook of kink. This is more of a social networking site, whereas Whipir is an efficient dating platform modeled after Tinder. Analysts wonder due to the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon if the app will become huge or sort of fizzle out. But if you are interested, Whipir may be the next great place to find someone to get your freak on with. If you’re interested in learning more about the intersection of technology and dating read, Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating by Dan Slater.

Get Good Relationship Karma

karma

Get Good Relationship Karma

Do you believe in karma? Karma is an idea from Hinduism that the things you do right morally will bring to you good things in your life increased to the seventh power. Whereas evil actions will bring evil upon you seven times worse that what you’d done, as recompense. Lots of people do good deeds not only because they are the right thing to do but to receive good karma in kind. But even though those good Samaritans do so for the poor and indigent, the young and the elderly, they often overlook karma for one of life’s most important aspects, one’s love life. Here’s how to get good relationship karma. First, don’t dump someone callously.

It’s so painful being dumped, even if the person was a complete jerk, or worse.  Still, try to remember that they have feelings too.  But do them a real favor. Don’t tiptoe around why you are breaking up with them. Let them know what is making the two of you incompatible. The breakup is a real moment to actually help someone with a problem that could, and probably will, creep up in other relationships. If you really want to do a nice turn, tell them what they need to work on. If you get through to them, you will be saving them a lot of heartache in the future.

If you are going through a breakup, in a dating rut, have sworn off romance in bitter disgust, or have just been single for what feels like an eternity, don’t rain on your friend’s parade if they are falling in love. Lots of people, especially those of the female persuasion, get extremely jealous when a friend is falling in love. There is the small talk about the new lover’s flaws and foibles, the imagined breakup, devastating. Here is a good time to put aside those bitter feelings, cleanse yourself of resentment and suppressed rage, and instead focus on your compassion for your friend. You want to radiate love, caring, kindheartedness and consideration and know too that your turn isn’t too far behind your friends.

When you and your wingman or wing woman are chatting up two eligible singles, let your friend steal the limelight. Don’t constantly undercut or out charm your friend. You won’t stay friends for long. Whoever likes someone likes someone and pushing each other out of the spotlight is not the way to go. Don’t let your ego get bruised. Your selflessness will be recognized and revisited upon you sevenfold. For more advice read, Love Karma: Use your Intuition to Find, Create, and Nurture Love in your Life by Char Margolis.

Handling Divorce as a Lady at 40 Plus

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Handling Divorce as a Lady at 40 Plus

Divorce for women forty and over is different than for women under forty according to Erica Manfred, author of the book, History; You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After Forty.  The sheer difference between handling divorce as a lady at 40 plus is that you have less opportunities than at earlier times. Some women have to re-enter the workforce. But if she’s been home caring for the house and children, or had a gap in employment, she may be in for a rude awakening when hitting today’s job market. If she hasn’t had a family yet and wanted one her chances are diminished.

The difference today from years ago is that there are plenty of single, available men who are also divorced. But the herd is a bit thinner than what women encounter at a younger age. If you need to reestablish your career consider attending college, community college, nursing school or some form of higher education. Civil service examinations are good avenues for employment. Networking with friends, family, acquaintances and others are good ideas as well, both for employment, and career advice.

Many people stay married for the sake of the children. They wait until the kids have grown up so as not to injure their psyches. But according to Ms. Manfred, “The kids are never grown.” What she means by that is that children are distraught by the divorce of their parents no matter what age they’re at. The kids begin to question their childhood, whether they grew up in a happy household for instance, or if it was all a lie. Now holidays are also separated into two. This will be quite awkward. Problems soon creep up in their own relationship. And they worry about who is going to take care of one or both parents once they get older and can’t take care of themselves. If you need to break the news, no matter what age, both of you should tell the children together according to Manfred. Deliver the news with empathy and understanding. Make sure the timing is right.

Surprisingly, 66% of over 50 divorces are initiated by women. This is because often the man has had bad habits, which she could ignore when he was out and about. But now that he’s home all the time it becomes a problem. There’s infidelity with younger women. And there are those men who recede into themselves and just sit on the couch and watch TV, while she still wants to live an active lifestyle and social life, go out, do things, meet people, and so gets tired of having no connection with him. It may not seem easy but for many divorce makes them much happier.

Why TIME’s new Marriage App is a Blessing

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Why TIME’s new Marriage App is a Blessing

TIME magazine has a new Facebook app that, using an algorithm, tells women when it thinks they should get married. It comes to this conclusion using data culled from the women’s Facebook friend’s pages. News of the release of this app sent women in an uproar. Articles were written, lines upon lines of comments were found on forums all over the web asking women what they thought. The app has a few shortfalls. It doesn’t collect any data for people who are too lazy to change their Facebook status, or don’t update it because they believe that information is best kept private.

The true nature of this app is to play on the anxieties of single ladies, and to market products to them. The problem is that some women may also see TIME’s new marriage app as a blessing. It could be a wakeup call for some on how much time you really have. For having children, there is a biological window to produce happy, healthy offspring. This app could help wake a woman up to the fact that she better get a move-on with dating, or else the window might close.

Of course, most women who talk to their doctor about it know that a healthy child can be born well into the late thirties and, with procedures, beyond. The question is, should there be? Will the child get all the care, love, attention and energy from parents that they deserve when the parents might be a little too old to chase after them? Of course this varies from person to person, couple to couple and situation to situation. Extreme cases have hit the news. Biologists tell us that the late teens and early twenties are when women and men are most fertile. However, due to the extensive education needed to perform well in today’s economy, most experts take this into consideration and suggest around the early to mid-thirties as the optimal time to have children.

What gets women irritated is a whiff of being judged. It’s whether or not the app is saying that a woman made a wrong choice to stick with her career rather than have a family. Reasonably, this is a choice that every woman, and to a certain extent man, must make. Of course we don’t want to be reminded of the other path. But it’s there. We should think about it and come to terms with the choices we made. It’s the only way to find peace in our life. So don’t let this app get to you. Stand by your choice and love who you are. Come to terms with any regret or misplaced aggression, and you’ll live a fulfilling and happy life. If you are considering marriage read, 1001 Questions to Ask before You Get Married by Monica Mendez Leahy.