Bra that opens when she finds “The One”

bra

Bra that opens when she finds “The One”

Introducing another startling love related invention that has come out of where else but Japan. Here we have the world’s first “smart bra.” This undergarment created by Japanese lingerie company Ravijour claims it knows how women really feel, so much so that the bra opens when she finds “The One.” But how does it know? When we fall in love, hormones secreted increase the heart rate. The bra has a built in sensor that detects this heart rate increase and opens the bra.

The garment works like a modern day chastity belt, keeping the girls locked away until the man of her dreams walks in and quickens her pulse. When her heartbeat reaches the crucial level the bra opens to end sessions of awkward fumbling just before the penultimate moment of truth.  Sure there are phone charging rain boots and hats that help you find Wi-Fi. But this may be the strangest wearable tech around. Ravijour has its own sexuality specialist on staff who states on the company’s promotional video, “When we fall in love, we experience an instant boost in excitement. That feeling is unlike any other excitement we encounter in life.”

The company’s hopes for this item are not small. Saying of his invention the creator of the smart bra stated, “Until now, the bra was just a piece of clothing to remove. But now it is an instrument to test for true love … destined to become a friend of women around the world.” What isn’t discussed is if the bra will open at times when the lady’s heart rate increases yet isn’t in the throes of passion with her beau? When she is just told of some horrible news, when she’s seeing a Thriller with friends or her parents, when something startling happens at work or she gets to be a guest on a game show. Will her bra open at these inopportune times? What if she wants to get involved with someone physically but isn’t in love? Where is this technology leading also? Certainly we don’t want too much tech in the bedroom.

There is fear of too much being revealed, especially through social media websites. In the age of “revenge porn” we are reminded that positive technologies often do have unforeseen consequences. Nor do we want to export all of our decisions about our bodies to some gizmo or smart device with a socially constructed idea of what courtship and love should be like. Sometimes the best lessons come from when we are unencumbered by outside forces such as societal views of what is proper when. Sure the smart bra seems fun, and is probably just a publicity stunt to get exposure, but we have to protect ourselves from the encroachment of technology into the more private realms of our lives. To learn more about technology’s impact on modern dating read, Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating by Dan Slater.

Which is Worse, an Emotional or Physical Affair?

CHEATING-TEXTING

Which is Worse, an Emotional or Physical Affair?

According to a recent survey by Victoria Milan, an infidelity themed dating website, when asked which is worse, an emotional or a physical affair, male respondents stated that a physical affair was worse, women an emotional affair. 72% of men responded that a sexual affair was worse. While 69% of women thought an emotional affair was the deadlier of these two. 76% of women would give their partner another shot after a physical affair. But only 35% of the male respondents would forgive a physical affair. 80% of men would take their lover back if they had had an emotional affair, whereas only 30% of female respondents would accept their man back after straying emotionally.

Of the findings, Victoria Milan CEO Sigurd Vedal is quoted in saying in a press release, “Many people are searching for affection, a deeper connection that can lead to real feelings, not just sex. What kind of cheating is more painful? It totally depends on the individual and maybe on gender as well.” A research study that came out in the journal Evolutionary Psychology parallels these findings. So does a study out of the University of Michigan which found that the female of our species find “forming a deep emotional bond” a far larger concern than men.

This study shouldn’t be too surprising. Men put a lot of their ego in their sexual prowess. A cheating woman lowers his evaluation of that prowess, bashing his ego along with the emotional pain that comes from infidelity. It communicates to other men that his prowess wasn’t enough to satisfy her. Of course, most women cheat not necessarily out of sexual need, though there are those that do. Generally, women cheat from feeling neglected, starved of intimacy. A woman needs to feel loved, cared for, and close to someone. If she is neglected in her relationship, doesn’t feel any emotional connection and doesn’t feel appreciated or loved, she will go astray to have these needs met. Men of course have these emotional needs we well. But men aren’t as emotional as women are. Some men who aren’t in touch with their own emotions may find that having his lady seek emotional sustenance outside the relationship relieves him. Still, it is this very bonding that may lead her to stray physically as well. For advice on preventing an affair read, Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship by M. Gary Neuman.

Men Who Lose Sleep Misinterpret Women’s Cues

pick-up

Men Who Lose Sleep Misinterpret Women’s Cues

A new study states that guys who are sleep deprived don’t judge a woman’s desire for sex accurately (hindustantimes). 29 women and 31 men took part in this study. They were asked to fill out a questionnaire where they had to gauge a woman’s interest in commitment and sex. They took the same test before and after an evening without sleep. Here is a sample question, “When a woman goes out to a bar, how likely is it that she is interested in finding someone to have sex with that night?” When they slept well, both sexes rated a woman’s interest in sex lower than a man’s. But, after a sleepless night, men rated women’s interest in sex much higher than before. In fact, they believed a woman’s interest in sex was equal to a man’s. Women however never changed their answers, sleep deprived or no. Commitment levels were the same for both sexes regardless of how much sleep they had.

The implications of this research are that sleep deprived men may make decisions and miscalculations that their well-rested brethren wouldn’t do. It’s important when evaluating a dating situation to do so accurately. The results of this research can be found in the journal Sleep. Coming on too strong when you are sleepy is not a good idea. In fact, it’s important to make sure you accurately assess the situation. Some people are often overconfident in their prowess with the opposite sex. Others are too intimidated. Most people are somewhere in the middle. Understand how you regard the opposite sex and how well you read them. When a person enters your personal space, holds eye contact, smiles and laughs a lot in your presence, touches your arm or some other part of you, they are interested in you. If you are unsure give the person more space and seek to find out more. If you are a bad judge of the opposite sex, ask a friend or a confidant how they felt about the behavior of the person you are interested in. For more advice on women’s cues, read the book Read Her Signs: An Essential Guide to Understanding Women and Never Getting Rejected Again by Stella Belmar.

Infidelity Interpreted Differently Between the Sexes

CHEATING-SIGNS

Infidelity Interpreted Differently Between the Sexes

Men are more distraught by the physical aspect of cheating, women the emotional aspect so says a new study. Kansas State University researchers had 477 participants, 238 male and 239 female, fill out questionnaires about relationships. One crucial question asked, “Which would distress you more: Imagining your partner enjoying passionate sexual intercourse with another person or imagining your partner forming a deep emotional attachment with another person?” Once they reviewed all the data researchers concluded that, “Males reported that sexual infidelity scenarios were relatively more distressing than emotional infidelity scenarios, and the opposite was true of females.” Researchers started out trying to figure out what characteristics such as relationship habits, attachment style and trust had on feelings of infidelity. It turned out that only one factor was different and that was the gender of the person you were asking. Women were impacted more by cheating that was emotional in nature while men more physical in nature. Dr. Gary Brase evolutionary psychologist told HuffPost Live that researchers have known for a long time that men and women viewed cheating differently. But there was a split as to why. Some experts believed it was evolutionary while others thought it was through learning and socialization.

In this experiment Dr. Brase and his colleagues wanted to put it to the test and find out once and for all which was the right reason for the gender split on cheating. So they found a big pool using online surveys. This study proved that gender was the single most important determining factor when responding to an instance of cheating. Gender identity played no role, only their actual, biological sex. Accoring to Dr. Brase this proves that the split is connected with the different gender’s roles in terms of reproduction. In terms of evolutionary history women are invested most in their offspring, the children. Men however don’t have to go through pregnancy and giving birth. Ergo in an evolutionary, biological sense men are more invested in passing on their genes, ergo more put off by the physical aspect of infidelity. Women however are more invested in the raising of the children and need the man’s help in the evolutionary sense of providing for them in every sense. So they are more appalled by the emotional aspect. Dr. Brase did say that both types of infidelity are bad, likening it to a “Sophie’s Choice.” But when you have to say which is worse, this is where men and women diverge. You can find this study in the journal Evolutionary Psychology. For advice on how to prevent an affair, read Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship by M. Gary Neuman.