If he’s got these in his Search History, Delete Him


If he’s got these in his Search History, Delete Him

We are all guilty of looking at things we shouldn’t on the internet from time to time. But there are certain things that cross the line. Respect and trust need to exist in any relationship for it to be healthy and happy. But there are just certain things a husband or boyfriend shouldn’t be seeking out. If he’s got these websites in his search history, delete him from your life or expect trouble the next time you sign on to his shenanigans. It’s perfectly normal for a guy to seek out some porn. They are guys, they are going to look. But if you happen to find an over-obsessive amount, this is a deal breaker. It may mean he’s addicted to porn. He could then have trouble pleasing you.

Another phenomenon that is occurring, guys who expect their wives and girlfriends to act like porn stars in the bedroom. While you may be all about exploring your kinky side, just understand that the women in these films never get their needs met. So if you want him to go down south, or you wish to explore some of your own fantasies, you’d better come right out and talk about it or it could all be over. Another deal breaker in this realm is porn that is too extreme. Sure he may have a fetish which you enjoy or are at least willing to accommodate. But if you find out he’s really into some sick stuff, it’s time to hit the road. Next thing you know he’ll want to bring some of that stuff into the bedroom. FYI, if you’re up for it, a little bit of good quality porn between consenting adults can actually stimulate your love life form time to time.

If he’s been on dating sites since you two have become an item, get rid of him. He’s a player, a narcissist; he’s self-absorbed and doesn’t care about your feelings. He’s looking to cheat. One side note, make sure you two have verbalized that you are in a committed relationship. Some girls just assume. If you haven’t said it, it isn’t true. When you are only dating you can’t expect him to shut down his dating profile. You never know what might happen. He’s keeping his options open or still deciding on you. You may be in the same phase. But if you’ve said the three little words, be mine only and they said yes, then this guy is a heartless scumbag. He’ll give you a line of crap. If you fall for it, he’ll cheat on you anyway, and you’ll be in more pain and hate yourself worse for failing to see through his jive.

If your man has a long history of surfing gay websites, you need to confront him about it. There’s nothing wrong with different sexual orientations. If you fantasize about having two guys, and the relationship doesn’t mean that much to you emotionally, you may find it exhilarating. Otherwise, your man may run off with another man. How will you feel then? If you find him on Ashley Madison or some other type of cheating website, sign off on this relationship. He’s a cheater and a sneak. For help moving on if or when your break up read, You Didn’t Want Him Anyway: Get Over Any Man in 5 Simple Steps by Claire Casey.

Narcissists are More Prone to Sexual Infidelity


There are all kinds of problems being in a relationship with a narcissist and here’s one more thrown on the pile. According to new research, narcissists are more prone to sexual infidelity.  Laura Widman and James K. McNulty were the researchers who uncovered these results by studying 123 newlyweds through their first four years together as husband and wife. Using surveys and lab experiments, infidelity, sexual satisfaction and marital satisfaction were all gauged. Questions regarding sexual narcissism were highlighted including sexual entitlement, empathy, view of their own skill and sexual exploitation. To determine whether someone was a sexual narcissist or not, researchers asked questions on a five point scale. Sample questions were: “I feel I deserve sexual activity when I am in the mood for it”,   “I could easily convince my spouse to have sex with me if he or she was unwilling”, and “I really know how to please my spouse sexually.” The research revealed a pattern, those with higher sexual narcissism levels were more likely to cheat. As the researchers themselves put it, “The spouses who were more confident about their sexual skill were more likely to commit an infidelity.”

If your partner shows the traits of sexual narcissism they will be more likely to go astray, according to this research. The researchers wrote of this, “Interventions may benefit from identifying and targeting individuals who have narcissistic tendencies that manifest in the sexual domain.” You can find this article in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior. So what are some of the signs you need to watch out for to see if you are with a sexual narcissist? A sexual narcissist uses sex for their own gratification, they don’t care much about their partner’s though they may feign that they do. Just like with other parts of the relationship, it is all about them all the time. At first, it may feel thrilling and exhilarating. But after a while you will realize that your own needs aren’t being met, or even regarded. In fact, they are usually simply cast aside in one clever way or another. Sex or the withholding of it is at their whim and pleasure. If you aren’t into it or don’t want it when they do, there is something wrong with you. There is no intimacy with a narcissist. In fact, at times it may be more about power and control than bonding or connecting. The lover is, in this realm as in all others in the relationship, a toy to be used, manipulated and abused all at the whim of the narcissist. If you are with someone with any of these traits it is best to untangle yourself from the relationship. This mental condition isn’t healthy and it will bring you down so as to hoist your partner up. Find someone who is also interested in fulfilling your needs, wants and desires. For more on this topic, read Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover and Move On by Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble, M.S.