Sometimes love turns sour. Either you dated the wrong person, or they seemed okay but turned on you. Either way, you are receiving awful phone calls from them. You want them stopped. But getting them to stop making abusive phone calls is easier said than done. The first thing you want to do is, when you receive an abusive call, don’t yell back or respond in any way. This is what the caller is looking for. He or she will feed off of it. Don’t hang up automatically either. You’ll just enrage them more and they’ll call back in a fury. Instead, just leave the phone unattended for a while. Then hang it up. They will get tired of this and the calls will stop.
If they don’t, start keeping a log of what time and day each call occurred. Is there a pattern? This will give you information to pass along when you contact the police. Remember you can dial *69 and report the abuse. Remember to explain the entire situation and ask for what the options are. Should you follow up? You may need to fill out a restraining order, or go to the precinct. Abusive calls are a criminal offense. Perhaps mention your intentions to the caller in an effort to get them to stop. But if they don’t, be prepared to follow through.
Another place to call is your phone service provider. They may have a policy for dealing with such calls. They may be able to identify the number this person is calling from in order to block it. Or they may give you instructions on how to block it yourself. You may be able to block the number yourself too by dialing *77 if it’s a private number. If you call back but can’t get through or don’t get an answer, it’s likely the person has blocked their own number to avoid being identified. Never give out any personal information over the phone. The person who is calling and harassing you may have some plot, or could have elicited the help of a friend. In any event, unless you are sure of the person on the other line or they have somehow identified that they are who they say they are, or represent who they say they do, don’t give out your social security number, banking information, home address or any information that can be used to hack accounts, steal your identity or the like.
You may want to change your number, or make your number unlisted which means it won’t end up on whitepages.com or any other sites, and won’t show up in the phone book. Even if when they are caught they make it look like just a prank or no big deal, go through with pressing charges. Otherwise, they are likely to do it again. But if they feel the full bite of punishment they are unlikely to do it again, and it will send a message to others not to mess with you. Protect yourself. Abusive calls can be really obnoxious, even scary. But if you take these steps they’ll soon be a thing of the past. For more advice read, Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD and Randi Kreger.