Romance, Guy Style

Couple-Relaxing

Romance, Guy Style

We all know what women find romantic. But what about when it comes to men?  How you do sweep a guy off his feet? Flowers, candle lit dinners and moonlit buggy rides aren’t it. It can be difficult to guess what gifts or gestures he’ll appreciate. But not to worry, here are some ideas. Here’s romance, guy style. First, when you do something nice for your guy, don’t expect something automatically in return. It kills the mood. You don’t want him to show up with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and just after you swoon say, “Hey, what are you going to do for me?” Instead, make sure a gesture or a gift is just that, an expression of your affection. Of course he’ll be overjoyed and won’t be able to wait to shower you with gifts and appreciation. But let it come naturally. Don’t force it or expect it.

For gesture ideas, why not cook him his favorite meal or bake his favorite dessert? Not so handy in the kitchen? Take him out to his favorite restaurant. If he’s a sports guy, take him to a sports bar where they have the best burgers for the game. For guys, it isn’t about a one size fits all thing like flowers or candy. It’s really about tailoring what his hobbies or interests are to your gift or gesture. Get to know your guy and what he likes and ideas will come up.

Tickets to the game or the concert, a nice watch, a weekend away, a ski trip, a party on the beach, a surprise camping trip to a national park he’s been itching to make it to, a massage, all of these will show him how much you care. Guys often plan dates, outings and so on, though certainly not always. But why not turn the tails on him and plan something that will knock his socks off? If you want to do something little, why not leave a little love note for him, or even a steamy one? Leave them in his briefcase, knapsack, jacket pocket, in a book he’s reading, his luggage or his satchel. Some guys don’t like it when things are too sappy. Others are the sensitive type. Know which type your guy is and write your notes accordingly. Why not write something funny or witty?

Sometimes just lazing around together can be romantic. Sitting by the pool with drinks, easing into a hot tub or coffee and a long brunch in a great café will do the trick. Don’t forget that for guys the physical aspect is an important part of romance. Surprising him in lingerie is always a great way to wow him. And it will make you two closer, too. Isn’t that what it’s all about? For more advice read, 31 Days to a Happy Husband: What a Man Needs Most from His Wife by Arlene Pellicane.

Avoid Embarrassing your Romantic Partner via Social Media

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Avoid Embarrassing your Romantic Partner via Social Media

Facebook and other social media sites can be a great place to interact with your significant other, especially if they are online all the time. You can leave sweet messages, make their heart swell when you change your relationship status, share photos of you two together, play public pranks on one another and mutual friends, and lots more. However, it can also be a place where you embarrass them or hurt their feelings.

If you have vowed to use social media for good over evil, and you want to use it as a tool to enhance your relationship, not tear it down, follow this advice to avoid embarrassing your romantic partner via social media. You don’t have to write that you miss them or love them on their wall. This may embarrass them in terms of how comfortable they are with PDAs. If you two aren’t kissing in public you definitely should not be sending this message. Why not text or message the person privately? What message are you sending doing it publicly, unless you are telling others to keep their hands off him or her? And if so, you may be looked at as jealous or clingy, not good qualities.

Don’t put everyday photos of you two cuddling or eating a normal dinner. Who wants to see boring photos on your social media? People go there to be entertained. Do something unique, special, funny. Show photos of you two in funny hats, at a party together, or a weekend getaway. Otherwise, all of his friends and family, and yours will think you’re a boring couple. Don’t connect to your significant other on every social media site. One or two is enough in the beginning of a relationship. Or else you will send the message that you want to lock him or her in, making some wonder if you are desperate. Don’t tell someone thanks for last evening and put an emoticon on their page. His or her family might check their page. Just text it. They will appreciate it so much more.

If you are a guy, don’t take photos of all the romantic stuff you do for her and put them on Facebook. Your guy friends may tear you apart. And what message are you sending? Instead, keep it private or let her do it for you. Don’t take a picture of them sleeping. It makes you look like a creeper, no matter what your gender. Don’t add all of his or her friends as your friends. Only add those you really like. It looks as though you are trying to be hard to get rid of. Lastly, don’t air your dirty laundry on social media. It will make you look bad and make them angrier than they were. By following these simple guidelines, you’ll be able to use social media not to embarrass your partner but instead to show how much you care. To learn more on the appropriate use of social media read, The Etiquette of Social Media: How to Connect and Respond to Others in the World of Social Media by Leonard Kim.

Overcoming the Winter Relationship Drain

COUPLE-IN-LOVE-WINTER

Overcoming the Winter Relationship Drain

In the barren landscape of this cruel season, your heart may feel as bitter as it is outside. Unfortunately for many, especially those who would rather hibernate, it’s often hard to keep a relationship vibrant during this time of year. Then there are bleak statistics like the fact that couples are more likely to split over the holidays and St. Valentine’s Day. The season can put extra pressure on a couple, particularly pertinent if they aren’t getting along to begin with. Psychologist Seth Meyers, PhD, says we tend to be moodier in the winter months, and our energy level is lower. These also take their toll on our love life.

HERE ARE SOME POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP OBSTACLES AND HOW TO GET PAST THEM:

  • Both men and women feel cooped up during the cooler months, and this adds to our irritability. The lack of sunlight also robs us of serotonin—the happiness neurotransmitter in our brains. One way to combat this is to bundle up and go outside. Even if it’s just for a few minutes at lunchtime, a little sunlight can get the serotonin flowing, and make you your own fun-to-be-with self again.
  • Another problem is that we often try to feed this lack of serotonin with temporary fixes such as simple carbs, sugar or alcohol. These can make you feel better short-term, but when you crash later on you feel worse. This is when we find ourselves in a screaming match with our partner. Being “hangry” is no laughing matter. Nutritional psychologist Julia Ross suggests high protein snacks instead. Eggs, cottage cheese, fish, a handful of nuts or some natural peanut butter on a slice of whole wheat are all good options. These will give you a long-term boost while avoiding the blood-sugar roller coaster other foods put you through.
  • Winter is a time when some put on their thick, puffy socks, pajamas, swaddle themselves in blankets and settle down to a TV binge. This is not exactly the sexiest scenario. But a lack of sex in the winter can also spell a lack of connection. Exercising together can boost mood enhancing biochemicals like serotonin and dopamine. Why not hit the gym?
  • Also, work a little harder to keep the spark alive. Spend some time with the TV off. Play some nice music, light candles and get in the mood. Couple time is always appreciated. It makes your cuddling on the couch that much cozier. And cuddling releases oxytocin, the bonding neurochemical.
  • If you haven’t been intimate in a couple of weeks why not initiate a romantic setting and see how your partner responds? Skin gets dry in the winter. Offer to rub some lotion on your sweetie, and while you are at it give them a nice massage. Pick up their favorite dessert and feed it to them over hot cocoa or warm apple cider. Mulled wine and some fun conversation could work. Sure it may be a struggle, but get up and go out once in a while. A little bistro, live jazz, open mic night at your local coffee house or dancing at that hot little joint downtown are some fun options.
  • When it is time to snuggle on the couch, watch the latest RomCom, or perhaps something naughty.
  • Sometimes a little adrenaline can get the juices pumping and make you feel closer. Look for indoor rock climbing at the mall or laser tag at the arcade.

There are lots of fun and romantic things you can do to break out of the winter rut and embrace love, no matter how cold it is outside. For more on this subject read, The Truth about Love: The Highs, the Lows, and How You Can Make It Last Forever by Dr. Patricia Love, EdD.

Grand Gestures that will Blow him away

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Grand Gestures that will Blow him away

Are you dating or married to a guy you are totally in love with? Do you want to show him how much you care? For guys it’s easy to come up with ideas to sweep a girl off her feet. A romantic dinner, her favorite flowers, a day at the spa, and a weekend away are all romantic ways to show her how you feel. With guys it’s a little different. You can be romantic with some. With others they find it a blow to their ego. He has no problem doing these things for her. But romance is considered something for the lady. So accepting a romantic gesture can be uncomfortable for some men, even emasculating. His friends may even tease him about it depending on the type of guy he is and they are. So it’s important that when you want to do a grand gesture to blow him away, you do it to fit him, his style and make him melt without blowing his cover. You don’t want to do something nice and end up making him the butt of jokes from his friends. So how do you deal with that? How can you expertly maneuver this fine line and show him how much you care? Here are some ideas.

How about a surprise vacation? Who doesn’t like a get-away? Where does your man like to go? What does he like to do? If you have the means, there are no shortages of places to go from Hawaii to Greece that he won’t enjoy or brag about. A surprise weekend away is always good. If he has a special hobby you can take him for instance for a surprise weekend skiing at a place he’s never been or always wanted to try, or a golf course he’s never been to. If he’s really into Hollywood, a weekend in L.A. will do the trick. If he’s an outdoorsman take him camping, fishing or hiking in a state or national park he’s never been to. Even bringing him to a hidden gem in your town or country can show how much you care.  What about getting him a gift that keeps on giving? Find out what he’s into. Say he loves bacon, there’s the bacon of the month club. There are one’s for beer, hot sauce, cheese, and so much more.

Ever think of getting him a massage from a proper masseuse? Ask casually first what he thinks of massages before you get him one. Or you can do one for him yourself. Make it a real treat, a full body massage. If you know anyone you can borrow a massage table from, do so. If he’s been particularly stressed out lately, do his chores for him. Give him a little extra time to relax and unwind. It will also show him that you’ve got his back. Set up that thing he’s always wanted to do. From sky diving, bungee jumping, riding in a World War II vintage plane over Manhattan or driving a race car down the track, find out what it is and make secret plans to fulfill it for him. Make him a special dinner once in a while, or buy a nice piece of lingerie if you have a physical relationship and text him photos of yourself. There are lots of things you can do for a man to let him know you love him, and make him feel not only like a man, but like a king. For more advice read, Romantic Gift Ideas for Men & Women-Anniversary, Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Special Occasions by Suzie Summers.

Study Reveals who’s More Romantic, College Guys or Girls

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Study Reveals who’s More Romantic, College Guys or Girls

Whether it’s that beautiful romance or the fun of playing the field, college for most people is one of the most exciting and pivotal times in their dating life. Noting the importance of this time in one’s life, researchers decided to answer the question of who’s more romantic, college guys or girls, and the study reveals some interesting results. Undergraduate men were far more likely to choose a romantic relationship over education and career goals according to the study. These results threaten to turn traditional notions of gender roles on their head. But not so fast. One question, however, is how a romantic relationship is defined. Are they talking about true love, marriage and children or merely a chance to get under the sheets with someone who’s caught his eye?

Duke University’s Medical Center’s Catherine Mosher and the University of Albany’s Sharon Danoff-Burg conducted surveys on undergraduate university students. 80 male students and 157 female students participated, ranging in age from 16 to 25. Reaching goals in different relationships such as family, friends, romantic relationships, marriage and children were measured by the questions in the survey. Goals outlined were financial success, physical fitness, travel, owning a home, career and education success and societal contributions. How much they were willing to sacrifice for romance was also measured.

The results were that both genders felt the need to achieve goals individually but also in their romantic relationships. 51% of female students chose romance over personal goals, compared to 61% of male students. “Charming companions” were more easily traded for travel, educational and career goals. The number of female students choosing a relationship over their career goals came out to 20% compared to 35% of male students. 15% of female students would jettison their education goals for love while 30% of male students said they would do the same. In an interview with LiveScience Mosher said, “I think that those are the issues in which people find tension often in real life, between having a career and making time for relationships.” But how romance was defined wasn’t clear. Were guys really into relationships or were they more than likely letting biology do the thinking for them? According to Kruger, “Maybe for the men they’re thinking close romantic relationship, but that doesn’t necessarily mean long-term commitment of getting married and having children.”

In terms of evolution and traditionally men strived for high status in order to have access to a higher or wider pool perhaps of potential mates. Kruger says, “So in a way it’s kind of like saying, you’re doing all this stuff to strive for something, but if you can get that ‘thing’ without additional striving, wouldn’t you?” Women on the other hand had been so focused on their career and educational goals that they didn’t want any relationship to come in and mess up their plans. Heterosexual men also get more emotional support from the opposite sex. For more on how to balance career and romantic goals pick up a copy of, Married to the Job! How to Balance Your Relationship and Career in the 21st Century (Love Lockdown Series) by Steve Cain.