Guys Are Drawn to the Damsel in Distress

damsel-in-distress

So many movies are the same. The lovely young maiden is trapped by the evil wretched villain. Her only hope, a knight in shining armor who swoops in to vanquish his opponent, free his lady love, sweep her up into his arms and ride off with her clutching him as the sun sets and the credits roll. But it isn’t just Hollywood that’s obsessed with the damsel in distress, guys fall for this female character, too. Many women, particularly in the West who are independent and can take care of themselves, hate this stereotypical heroine, and Hollywood and other media sources have heard and adjusted. This phenomenon still hangs on. So why are guys drawn to the damsel in distress? Mostly it’s because it makes him feel manly to be able to swoop in and save her. It makes him feel wanted, needed, important, a hero. It also makes her look feminine to him. Men throughout the ages have been traditionally the protectors and providers. Women, whether the modern feminist minded want to admit it or not, are also attracted to men who can make them feel safe and secure. Helping boosts a man’s ego. But saving a woman whom he also finds irresistible, that is a recipe for a man in love. Another thing, it’s easy to approach this woman. She needs help and he can provide it. It puts him at a superior standing.

This feeling of being a man, of doing manly things and becoming secured in one’s manliness helps to build the male ego. When he feels important, wanted, needed, and essential it feeds his ego, makes him feel manly and gives him a sense of pride that he is doing something good for a woman who deserves his services. The trick is to be a damsel in distress and at the same time not to be needy. This is easier said than done. Guys do want a woman to be independent. He wants her generally to have her own friends, career and passions in life. But he doesn’t want to feel as though she doesn’t need him at all. If you want to get closer to him but still maintain your independence, simply ask for his help in something. It could be a little matter. To fix something, ask for help in using a technical piece of equipment for instance if you are both working in the office together. The copier is always a source of consternation for any office worker. If there isn’t anything mechanical or technical around, ask for his advice or opinion on something. Thank him later on and let him know how much he helped. Once you’ve primed his ego in this manner he’s bound to warm to you. Remember not to use this all the time if you happen to be dating a guy or else you may come off as needy. But a little request for help now and then can pique his interest in you and let him know he’s needed and desired. For more tips on how to attract a man, read the advice of Ellen Dugan in her book, How To Enchant A Man: Spells to Bewitch, Bedazzle & Beguile.

Politely Reject Someone Asking for your Number

whats your number question handwritten on the school blackboard

It’s nice when someone asks for your phone number. But when it’s someone you don’t like, have no chemistry with, or are turned off by, it can be a real drag. It used to be that only guys asked women for their number. But today, more and more ladies are approaching guys. So this advice goes for either sex. First, evaluate why it is you don’t want to give this person your number. Is it that you don’t find them attractive? Do they have annoying habits? Are you already in a relationship? If you think they are attractive but are afraid of getting hurt or aren’t over an ex, let them know this, and that you may be interested in taking things extra slow or giving him or her your number when it’s time to move on. Otherwise, it’s important to politely reject someone asking for your number. You don’t want to hurt their feelings. Nor do you want to get a reputation as someone who is shallow or has a callous heart. If you are shy, taken aback, or don’t know how to reject kindly at the moment, change the subject subtly. Hopefully, they get the hint. Another thing you can do is ignore the person when they ask. Make an excuse so that you have to leave quickly. Gasp and say you forgot to give someone something important. If you feel confident in addressing the issue, tell the person that you are flattered and how great they are, but you just don’t feel any chemistry between you two.

Understand that it may have taken a lot for them to work up the courage to ask for your number, so you want to let them down easy. If you know someone who is interested or may be interested in this person, suggest they ask them. You can also say that you will give him or her your number, but just as a friend. Make it clear you’re not interested in a romantic relationship. If you are already in a relationship, tell that person so. If someone keeps asking you for it and doesn’t quit, take them aside and have a talk with them. Tell them their positive qualities, but no matter how great they are you just don’t see them “in that way.” Make it clear that you want to remain friends but this badgering is putting strain on the friendship. If they really respected you they would quit asking. If you have someone in your life, tell them that the person is very jealous and if you provide your number and they call, it will cause problems in the relationship. If they still don’t quit flirting with you and asking for your number, it might be time to threaten them with harassment should they keep it up. And if they continue to harass you, follow through with it. Still, most people when they are politely rejected will quit asking for your number.