TIME Magazine App Predicts when you should get married

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TIME Magazine App Predicts when you should get married

Do you know when the perfect date for your wedding is? If not a new app can tell you. Brought to you by TIME Magazine, this new app predicts when you should get married. It works by first analyzing your Facebook friends’ relationship statuses and ages. Then it determines the median age of your friends’ marriages and proposes that you marry about the same age as they were.

In terms of their calculation procedure, the app only uses friends who have selected to include their date of birth in their Facebook profile, up to and including the year. Researchers for TIME believe that only a quarter of Facebook users include this information on their profile. The statuses the software recognizes are “engaged,” “married,” “in a civil union” or a “domestic partnership.” This is a small number of the average Facebook profile’s friends. One reporter using the app said that it only selected 10 out of her 900 Facebook friends as these were the only ones who chose to report their relationship status. Many others keeping their status private were then not counted in the app’s calculations.

Though it’s interesting it doesn’t seem as though anyone is planning their marriage or dating life around this app, nor should they. It makes one wonder what the point of this app is in general. Is it merely to elicit interest in TIME? There certainly isn’t a perfect date or age to get married. And with the inflated divorce rate, though it has dropped a bit for some groups, having artificial pressures or anxieties tossed atop an already large pile from one’s family and society seems ludicrous and outlandish. Certainly people today know that marriage isn’t something to be taken lightly. Though it has a fun aspect it can make someone who is single feel bad about their situation, as if there aren’t enough things that do that already.

Why not forgo this app and turn to a dating one instead? There are lots of them. Some select singles in your area and make it easy for you to chat with them. Online dating is a great way to do it too. Remember to give the person you meet a chance. Serial dating can be fun in the beginning but can wear you out in the end. If you are dating someone do not use this app to pressure them into marriage. Nor should you show the selected date to your significant other as anything other than a joke. It could backfire on you. Then you’ll be contacting TIME and all over the news for reporting that their marriage app broke up your relationship. Bet that isn’t something they saw coming. Who could have predicted it? If you’re thinking of taking it to the next level in your relationship read, Before You Say “I Do”: A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts.

Stop Waiting around Wondering if he will Marry You

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Stop Waiting around Wondering if he will Marry You

There are lots of women who want to get married but stay in relationships where it isn’t abundantly clear where things are headed. So they avoid the subject at all costs. They wonder whether or not he wants the relationship to progress. Lots of young women think that when the moment is right, true love barges in, sweeps you up and carries you off. Many women pine for that day, wishing and waiting, but never think that in real life, it doesn’t always work like that. An awkward conversation with your partner as to whether or not he wants the same kind of relationship is usually how it goes. Those who want marriage the most are often the most reluctant to address the issue, for fear of rejection. It may even cause the relationship to implode. But if one person wants one thing, and another person wants something else, the relationship cannot last. Hanging on to a relationship that is doomed isn’t doing anyone any favors. Here are some other considerations for those who find themselves in this position.

You may be so invested that leaving is not a palatable option. Lots of women become preoccupied with how much work they’ve already put into the relationship, and where they are in terms of their child bearing years, but if you aren’t carefully considering whether or not this person has long-term potential, or even wants what you want, you are missing the point entirely. Some people fall into a groove. They get comfortable. It is usually a slow creep. Suddenly the two are cohabitating and in a routine. Though the situation does not fulfill her deeply, the woman usually becomes averse to breaking out of it. If he moves out for instance, she’ll have to find a roommate, and bear the brunt of the cost herself, until she finds one.

These decisions are not made easily. But settling for something you don’t want will leave a void. That hollow will grow and ultimately tear the relationship apart. Either that or you will live unfulfilled, numb, a lovelorn sleepwalker. If it does fall to pieces, you’ll wonder why you spent so much time with him to begin with, and all of that time wasted when you should have been looking for someone that fulfills you, and wants the same things you do. Realize that people change their minds. But if you can’t talk about the future with someone, or they have promised you some movement in the past and failed to deliver, then this person is not for you. They don’t have the same goals as you. If you want the right future you may have to sacrifice the present to get to it. Though it hurts in the beginning it is satisfying in the end. For more advice read, The List: 7 Ways to Tell If He’s Going to Marry You – In 30 Days or Less! By Mary Corbett & Sheila Corbett Kihne.

Little Changes You Can Make when You Become a Wife

married

Little Changes You Can Make when You Become a Wife

Congratulations on getting married! It’s such an exciting time, the beginning of a marriage when you two have made that great commitment before friends and family, sealed the deal with an incredible reception and hopefully a honeymoon that will make anyone jealous. But what about after that? Sure a long term commitment is a big deal. But a marriage is an even bigger one. You should start with accommodating one another and showing your appreciation for the other person, especially at this early stage of the game. Here are some little changes you can make when you become a wife to show your husband how devoted to him you are, and how much you care.

It’s not necessary of course but it will be a great way to set the tone in your marriage, and let him know how you feel. One thing you can do is update your relationship status on Facebook. It’s a great way to show him, and everyone you know how happy you are and secure that your marriage will last. It will also send exes and others who have shown interest that you are indeed off the market.  Next, when an invitation or event comes up, make sure to do your new husband the courtesy of checking with him. This is especially important if you want him to return the favor. Setting the tone is important. And what one person does in a marriage is often mirrored by the other. Courtesy is returned with courtesy, and inconsiderate moves are also returned in kind.

Eat dinner together when you can. It’s a great way to reconnect after a long day. Studies have shown that families who eat together are far more healthy and well-adjusted. And your husband is your family now, right? To your friends, as soon as you get married they start to think you aren’t fun anymore. Don’t spend all your time with your husband. Have a girl’s night out every once in a while. Go for drinks or coffee with friends. Enjoy spending time together. Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean you should be attached at the hip. In fact, couples who spend some time apart with their own friends and pursuing their own hobbies are far healthier and happier than those who spend every waking minute together. When you stop on the way home for a little treat, like a cupcake at that place you’ve been itching to try, bring him home one too. It will make him so happy. It’s such a small, easy gesture that will mean a lot to him.

Tell people that you’re married. Don’t do it when it doesn’t fit into the conversation that you’re having. But when appropriate let others at parties, work related events and so on know. When you’re a girlfriend it’s polite to let it come up. But when you’re married, it makes a man proud to know that you are announcing it proudly and staving off potential rivals, instead of hiding it because you want the flutter you feel when someone finds you attractive. It’s important to set the tone early. It’s not just a new phase of the same relationship, a marriage shows that something has changed. You’ve made a broad and deep commitment to one another. Show him the advantages he gets for making you his wife. Show him your love and appreciation. He’ll return the favor. For more advice read, Wife School: Where Women Learn the Secrets of Making Husbands Happy by Julie N. Gordon.

Avoid Embarrassing your Romantic Partner via Social Media

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Avoid Embarrassing your Romantic Partner via Social Media

Facebook and other social media sites can be a great place to interact with your significant other, especially if they are online all the time. You can leave sweet messages, make their heart swell when you change your relationship status, share photos of you two together, play public pranks on one another and mutual friends, and lots more. However, it can also be a place where you embarrass them or hurt their feelings.

If you have vowed to use social media for good over evil, and you want to use it as a tool to enhance your relationship, not tear it down, follow this advice to avoid embarrassing your romantic partner via social media. You don’t have to write that you miss them or love them on their wall. This may embarrass them in terms of how comfortable they are with PDAs. If you two aren’t kissing in public you definitely should not be sending this message. Why not text or message the person privately? What message are you sending doing it publicly, unless you are telling others to keep their hands off him or her? And if so, you may be looked at as jealous or clingy, not good qualities.

Don’t put everyday photos of you two cuddling or eating a normal dinner. Who wants to see boring photos on your social media? People go there to be entertained. Do something unique, special, funny. Show photos of you two in funny hats, at a party together, or a weekend getaway. Otherwise, all of his friends and family, and yours will think you’re a boring couple. Don’t connect to your significant other on every social media site. One or two is enough in the beginning of a relationship. Or else you will send the message that you want to lock him or her in, making some wonder if you are desperate. Don’t tell someone thanks for last evening and put an emoticon on their page. His or her family might check their page. Just text it. They will appreciate it so much more.

If you are a guy, don’t take photos of all the romantic stuff you do for her and put them on Facebook. Your guy friends may tear you apart. And what message are you sending? Instead, keep it private or let her do it for you. Don’t take a picture of them sleeping. It makes you look like a creeper, no matter what your gender. Don’t add all of his or her friends as your friends. Only add those you really like. It looks as though you are trying to be hard to get rid of. Lastly, don’t air your dirty laundry on social media. It will make you look bad and make them angrier than they were. By following these simple guidelines, you’ll be able to use social media not to embarrass your partner but instead to show how much you care. To learn more on the appropriate use of social media read, The Etiquette of Social Media: How to Connect and Respond to Others in the World of Social Media by Leonard Kim.

Facebook can predict your Relationship’s Longevity

facebook-relationship

Facebook can predict your Relationship’s Longevity

In light of Valentine’s Day, Facebook dropped another Orwellian PR bomb, this time in the realm of love. Facebook announced that it can predict the longevity of your relationship with pinpoint accuracy. When you change your status to “In a Relationship” and leave it that way for a quarter of a year or more, you are destined to love each other until the end of your days, or at least four years but maybe longer according to the social media giant.

Bogdan State, a Facebook scientist, has studied relationship statuses from 2008 to 2011. How long the couple stayed together was the single most important factor. Those relationships that are rocky are rocky from the start, while smoother relationships stay smooth as time goes on. Research focused on 23 year olds and older, who were in a relationship lasting at least three months. State didn’t include any couples whose status was “married.”  Those in shorter relationships or that don’t make their relationship statues “Facebook official” but rather remain private aren’t counted in this study. Breakup patterns were also a part of this study. Summer was the most common season for break ups State found. The college calendar, going back home or going away to graduate school, may come into play in these break ups.  2011 saw more breakups. State wondered if the economy played a role.

This obsession to find out who Facebook users are dating doesn’t begin with a researcher but the founder himself, Mark Zuckerberg. In David Kirkpatrick’s book “The Facebook Effect” Zuckerberg, experimenting in his spare time concluded that “by examining friend relationships and communications patterns he could determine with about 33% accuracy who a user was going to be in a relationship with a week from now.” How did he do this? His indicators were whose profiles you look at, friends and friends of friends, those who just became single and other factors.

While it is interesting to know that staying together three months can see a couple’s longevity last years into the future, it doesn’t predict anything humans want to know most about their romantic relationships. We don’t see how happy they are, indicated perhaps by the photos on their profiles, the little messages they send one another, the announcements they make, the break ups they endure or the hyperlinks they send one another saying “I know what you are interested in, here I found this for you.” Though it’s unnerving to see Facebook taking an interest in this subject, what would relationship predictions bring, a host of advertisements listing gifts and tokens to buy your sweetie, tailored for that special someone? No real man or woman would fall into that trap. They’ll have to get to know the person online and off. It’s offline that will always really count. To learn more about Facebook and its impact on our lives read, The Facebook Effect: The Inside Story of the Company that is Connecting the World by David Kirkpatrick.