Bra that opens when she finds “The One”

bra

Bra that opens when she finds “The One”

Introducing another startling love related invention that has come out of where else but Japan. Here we have the world’s first “smart bra.” This undergarment created by Japanese lingerie company Ravijour claims it knows how women really feel, so much so that the bra opens when she finds “The One.” But how does it know? When we fall in love, hormones secreted increase the heart rate. The bra has a built in sensor that detects this heart rate increase and opens the bra.

The garment works like a modern day chastity belt, keeping the girls locked away until the man of her dreams walks in and quickens her pulse. When her heartbeat reaches the crucial level the bra opens to end sessions of awkward fumbling just before the penultimate moment of truth.  Sure there are phone charging rain boots and hats that help you find Wi-Fi. But this may be the strangest wearable tech around. Ravijour has its own sexuality specialist on staff who states on the company’s promotional video, “When we fall in love, we experience an instant boost in excitement. That feeling is unlike any other excitement we encounter in life.”

The company’s hopes for this item are not small. Saying of his invention the creator of the smart bra stated, “Until now, the bra was just a piece of clothing to remove. But now it is an instrument to test for true love … destined to become a friend of women around the world.” What isn’t discussed is if the bra will open at times when the lady’s heart rate increases yet isn’t in the throes of passion with her beau? When she is just told of some horrible news, when she’s seeing a Thriller with friends or her parents, when something startling happens at work or she gets to be a guest on a game show. Will her bra open at these inopportune times? What if she wants to get involved with someone physically but isn’t in love? Where is this technology leading also? Certainly we don’t want too much tech in the bedroom.

There is fear of too much being revealed, especially through social media websites. In the age of “revenge porn” we are reminded that positive technologies often do have unforeseen consequences. Nor do we want to export all of our decisions about our bodies to some gizmo or smart device with a socially constructed idea of what courtship and love should be like. Sometimes the best lessons come from when we are unencumbered by outside forces such as societal views of what is proper when. Sure the smart bra seems fun, and is probably just a publicity stunt to get exposure, but we have to protect ourselves from the encroachment of technology into the more private realms of our lives. To learn more about technology’s impact on modern dating read, Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating by Dan Slater.

Your Guy hopes you Don’t Ask These

talking

Your Guy hopes you Don’t Ask These

Lots of women have questions about their new guy when they first get together. But when dating it’s important to let people reveal themselves slowly, when they are ready. Lots of women can overload a man with questions when a relationship is taking root. But this can scare the man off. He wants to have fun and get to know her naturally. But if he’s overloaded with questions, it isn’t fun anymore.  In fact, he thinks it means that she is going to turn into a nag later, or else be controlling and manipulative. It’s good to get to know your man. And you don’t want to waste time with someone who isn’t right for you. But questions should show that you are interested in getting to know them and build a relationship.

Some women also export all of their issues onto their men. Questioning is a way to have him validate her and alleviate her insecurity.  But if she keeps doing this he will put space between them thinking that she is too needy. Here are some questions your guy hopes you don’t ask, at least at the beginning of the relationship. The first is whether or not he thinks other women are attractive. All men find other women attractive. It doesn’t mean they will act on a fleeting impulse. And thinking someone is attractive and being in love with someone are two different things, both for men and women. Too much staring is inappropriate no question. But a quick look isn’t an offense. It’s natural.

It’s nice to ask your man what he’s thinking from time to time. But if you are asking all the time, it feels like an invasion of privacy. Every relationship needs borders and a romantic one is no exception. Certainly no two people should know what the other is thinking all the time. This phrase is acceptable if your guy has trouble sharing his emotions and you want to try to get him to open up, particularly if he is a total enigma or you think something is bothering him. But if you are just asking all the time out of some anxiety you are having, examine that anxiety. Are you the jealous type? Are you insecure? These are issues to work through. Showing interest in someone is one thing, but trying to know their every thought another.

Don’t ever ask if you look fat. No man ever knows how to answer in a way that will satisfy you. The best he can do is go over the top and hope you are satisfied. Instead, go shopping with and ask one of your girlfriends. Send her a photo real quick on your smart phone. It will save your guy a headache. Lastly, don’t ask about past relationships unless you want to hear the answer. And be ready to talk about your own. With these questions in mind, your man will be a lot happier, more comfortable with you and willing to open up. For more advice read, Relationship Advice for Women: Roadmap to His Heart- 8 Steps to Attracting & Keeping Mr. Right by Anthony Floyd.

Signs her Jealousy is a Real Problem

deal-with-jealousy

Signs her Jealousy is a Real Problem

Everyone feels a twinge of jealousy around their significant other now and then. A little bit can make you feel special, and show you how much your girlfriend or wife cares. It’s great to feel so needed and loved. But if there is more than just a little it can cause serious problems in your relationship. The problem is that jealousy can rear its head in so many ugly ways; insecurity, resentment, anxiety and fear.  She can exhibit terrible trust issues. And nothing is worse than having a woman you adore distrust you no matter how many ways you prove your devotion to her. Is the special lady in your life exhibiting behavior that’s tearing you two apart instead of pushing you together? Here are some signs that her jealousy is a real problem in your relationship.

Are you able to talk about other women in her presence? If you can’t mention a coworker, a long-time female friend or the waitress at your favorite greasy spoon and how she knows what you are ordering before you ask for it, without your girlfriend getting an attitude, your relationship is in trouble. What happens when you have to work on a project with that female coworker? Or you have to do a campaign with an attractive single woman for a local charity you are involved in? You will have to interact with other women throughout life. And if she can’t handle that you are going to be spending a lot of time consoling her, dodging venomous barbs and getting the cold shoulder.

Truth be told, every guy flirts and every woman too. It’s done in a certain way to be nice, polite and friendly. There’s formal flirting and then there’s the kind of flirting that comes with courtship. The problem is while most girls can tell the difference, if yours gets huffy when you even speak to a girl, never mind speak to her nicely you’ve got a real issue on your hands. The next time you are checking in at the airline counter and the clerk is attractive or a neighbor makes small talk, you are going to be in the doghouse. Do you know what it’s like to be in the doghouse while going on vacation with a woman, at the very beginning of the trip? It’s not fun. All you’ll be thinking about is how much you are paying to not have fun. She’s too jealous if she’s watching your every move with other women.

Is she overbearing? Does she constantly watch over you, want to know where you are, what you are doing, who was on the phone and who you were with? If she’s reading your texts or emails, you’ve got a problem. That shows both a total lack of trust and a breach of privacy, which is a total disregard for your feelings in a paranoid quest to find out what, that there’s nothing there? These machinations of the mind will drive you crazy. You will get no rest. Aren’t you stressed out enough about work? A man’s home should be his sanctuary against the cold, brutal world. And his woman should be his partner, not his antagonist. If you’re the one feeling jealous in your relationship read, Jealousy: Relationship Help with Self-Esteem, Insecurity and Trust Issues by Robert Rain.

Use a Pro to get your Ex’s Texts

texts

Use a Pro to get your Ex’s Texts

We all know how important texting has become in our love lives. Now they are becoming weighty evidence in divorce proceedings according to a survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Text messaging was present in the top three forms of electronic evidence used in divorce court today. But getting texts for your attorney can be difficult. You can either read them off the phone directly, or perhaps write them down for yourself.

The second method is to have them taken off the phone. This can be done even after the messages have been deleted. If there is some type of access code for security purposes, bypassing that would make the texts inadmissible in court according to John Simek, Vice President of a Virginia based computer security company called Sensei Enterprises, Inc. It’s like the difference between a suitcase that is open and one that is locked. Of this Simek said, “Then there is an expectation of privacy, and you’d better not be blowing by it.” Also understand that cell phone providers don’t store any messages on their end. So don’t go snooping in that direction, you’ll come up empty.

This is where you can use a trained pro to get your ex’s texts. According to Simek, a text message usually stays on the provider’s servers for about two weeks. But a case has to be filed before a security company can go in there and get a text. Otherwise, they have no leg to stand on legally. Searching the actual phone is really the best way to get at texts says Simek. Once a text has been deleted however, it can be hard to retrieve. Computer forensics companies can use several methods to try and retrieve these text messages. BitPim , Sim Card Seizure,  or Paraben Device Seizure are some of the methods used. Keep your fingers crossed.

“Normally it’s pretty volatile, these text messages,” says Simek. How your phone overwrites memory comes into play. But the forensics company will go through all of the internal organs of the phone to see if they can grab a hold of the steamy text your ex sent to their lover. These special software extractions can even get the date and time, important information where court is concerned. Some of the software programs even get inside the phone and take a photo of the text. These companies can even testify in court on how the text was extracted.  So the next time you have a text that can help pay off in divorce court, look up your local computer forensic security company. They may be able to ensure you get your hands on it, and your lawyer does too. For more assistance with evidence seeking read, The Everything Private Investigation Book: Master the Techniques of the Pros to Examine Evidence, Track down People, and Discover the Truth by Sheila L. Stephens.

Why Dating at Summer Camp was the Best

camp

Why Dating at Summer Camp was the Best

Remember those great summers at camp with swimming, horseback riding, canoeing, sports and arts and crafts and singing around a campfire at night? Camp was also a place a lot of people experience their first summer romance. Here are some reasons why dating at summer camp was the best. First, you never had to get dressed up, especially for a date. No cologne, perfume, makeup or serious clothing. It was come as you are and everybody was cool with that. You didn’t have to coordinate dates as to where you’ll meet, who is driving where and so on. You were right where you needed to be.

You could be seen at your worst physically, sweating and beaten, and they’d still love you. You could totally lose it emotionally being homesick, angry at your friend or just from being tired, and they still wanted to be with you. You didn’t have to worry about who pays or what it meant. Everything at camp was free. You both had the exact same schedule so no trying to awkwardly coordinate dates. That first crush at camp was always so real. Some people only dated over the summer. Others dates back at school or saw each other every summer until summer camp faded away. Some became counselors and some moved away. Some are probably even married today.

Whatever was going on at summer camp, your relationship was free. There was no pressure from inside or from without to make it become something or see it go somewhere. But that summer camp crush, just when you first saw them, or got up that morning and thought about seeing them that very day, made you all soft and gooey inside. You all hung out together. You all had the same friends and you never had to coordinate around people who didn’t like each other or had dated and broken up. You had to hang out together so everyone got together and made the best out of everything.

You already knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses by seeing one another operate around the different activities through the course of the day. There wasn’t really any privacy so you were forced to take things slow. But in that there was a kind of magic every time you got together, every time you kissed and each time you went a little bit further. There was lots of cuddling. Also, if you got stuck on any point you had camp counselors to guide you when you had problems in love. There was closure at the end of a camp romance, and great memories would inhabit your mind and theirs for all the days and years to come. To learn more about young love and the various experiences we go through in relationships, read Lena Dunham’s book, Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s “Learned.”