Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

attraction

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

Guys are traditionally the pursuers, and even though we live in an enlightened society most women still prefer it that way. But lots of guys wonder what kind of man women are attracted to, and how to bring the best qualities out in themselves. Women tend to vary greatly in tastes. Lucky for most poor dolts who have hardly a clue, science has stepped in to try and answer the dizzying, age-old question of what kind of guy women want. Here are some of the things science has uncovered. If you’re flying without your wingman, you may find yourself cruising over lonesomeville for quite some time. For one thing, women rate men more attractive in group photos rather than when by themselves, at least according to a study out of the University of San Diego. Therefore, it stands to reason you look better when someone’s there with you. Researchers say this is due to something called the “cheerleader effect.” People look more attractive with their faces together, since incongruities in any one person are sort of evened out by the whole group. Another thing, women like men who know how to work a room. If you are always with an entourage and you’re the life of the party, or at least she thinks you are, you look high status and someone fun to be around.

Are you a single dad? Be sure to take your baby out cruising. Just keep it during daytime hours. Not only will you get father of the year, you might score a few phone numbers. A study in France found that men who cooed, smiled at and talked to infants were 40% more likely to score a woman’s phone number than those who ignored a baby. Researchers say it shows a greater propensity for being a good dad, should the couple have offspring. Some guys shave every day. Others sport a righteous beard. But why not shave every ten days? According to Australian researchers, men who did so were seen as the most attractive. This layer of stubble is thought to project just the right level of masculinity. Here’s some simple advice. Get some nice wheels and you’ll turn heads. If you can’t afford it, borrow some. A British study found that the same dude in a Bentley Continental was found way more attractive than one in a Ford Fiesta, even with the same clothes and facial expressions. Status is the reason, and the projection of resources which he may be willing to share with a certain, special lady.

If you’re an animal lover, taking your dog for a walk may not just be a necessity, but a way to meet someone. A French study found that women were three times more likely to give up their digits to a man walking his dog versus one who approached alone. Dogs break the ice. They also project kindness, sensitivity and thoughtfulness, all qualities women find appealing. Got a little extra time? Why not volunteer? A Cornell study found that women who knew a man volunteered found him a better candidate for dating and a long-term relationship, due to the fact that he was more selfless and compassionate. If you really want to get a woman to fall for you, make her laugh. A University of New Mexico study found that those guys who could make a sharp witted quip and make a woman laugh were more likely to have short-term, uncommitted sex than their straight-laced counterparts. These quick bursts reveal creativity and intellect, two qualities women greatly desire.

Lastly, if you want to get more hits on your dating profile, include the words “creative,” “ambitious,” and “laugh.” Dating sight Zoosk did a survey and found profiles that had these words got 33% more messages. Include words like “read” or “book” or exercise words like jogging, lifting weights and the like also increased message frequency. Be sure to take it slow. Mention “drinks” or “dinner” too quickly and your response rate will plummet 35%. So this advice improves your hit rate. But what about quality control? Read, How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back by Henry Cloud, and you’ll have that covered too.

True Attractiveness

traits-that-make-men-attractive

People often misconstrue attractiveness with beauty. But the two aren’t synonymous. Generally, good looks and a nice figure can draw people toward you. But these don’t have staying power. Often those who are considered paragons of beauty hide ugliness beneath their envious physique. True attractiveness, the kind that has staying power, comes from within. It’s one’s sparking personality people are most drawn to. And this is also what you look for in a remarkable date. Once the nuance of someone’s beauty subsides, when there isn’t anything to talk about, the relationship will soon fade with it. So what can you do to improve your magnetism? How can you be more attractive? First, think about your personality. What type of person are you? Though some may like the dark and brooding look, most people like to interact with someone who is funny, confident and has a great sense of humor. Work on your confidence. Investigate what you find funny and pursue it. Not only will you enjoy this exercise, you’ll have lots of funny things to tell other people. Smile and make eye contact. Relax. If you are naturally nervous, find some relaxation techniques that work for you. Be yourself. If you are comfortable in your own skin you can project who you are and people will take notice. Don’t steamroll over others however. Be gracious and give them the spotlight, too.

One British study found that a person’s likeability increased when members of the opposite gender would smile at them. So do what you can to make those of the opposite sex gleam those pearly whites in your direction. Both women and men responded this way. The reason? The person seems popular. And popularity is contagious. So when you are out and about, smile and talk a little with everyone. They’ll smile back and you’ll increase your attractiveness and your likeability. One of the most fascinating subjects for most people is themselves. But let a little of yourself in, too. Make sure to balance the conversation. You don’t want the person feeling self-conscious. Being generally interested and listening actively to what they have to say will increase your attractiveness exponentially. Being healthy is sexy, and being sexy is attractive. Take care of yourself. Eat right and exercise. Be courageous, but don’t push others out of the way in your exploits. People love adventurers, as long as you don’t come off as arrogant for having such wonderful experiences under your belt. For more tips on increasing your attractiveness, read the advice of Gary Shine in his book, The 12 Edicts Of Attractiveness: A Methodology for Personal Magnetism.

Is Online Adultery the New Norm?

online-adultery-booming

The first adultery website was Ashley Madison, launched in 2002. Their motto “Life is Short, Have an Affair.” Today there are lots of related websites from Heatedaffairs.com to Datingforcheaters.com. Millions subscribe to these sites for extramarital nookie, making many wonder, is online adultery the new norm? According to Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman, these websites are just providing a new way to connect. The desire itself to cheat on a spouse is an ancient urge. In an interview with AFP, Mr. Biderman stated, “No one can show me a culture on the planet where infidelity doesn’t happen. Infidelity was always there.” Even websites that portray themselves as normal dating venues according to Biderman are “overrun by would-be affair seekers.” Though no one has studied the intentions of daters on other sites, Ashley Madison is no small operation. It brings in $100 million per year, is available in 35 countries and caters to 25 million members. 22% of husbands and 14% of wives will cheat sometime in their married lives according to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. But this begs the question as to whether sites like Ashley Madison are increasing infidelity or merely providing a new avenue for a desire that must be satiated either here or through some other route.

Professor of sociology at the University of Washington Pepper Schwartz weighed in on this question, stating “It’s hard to know if the new technologies increased infidelity because we have no bottom-line data.” She surmised however that it could increase infidelity by making it easier to find a conspirator to cheat on one’s spouse with. According to Ashley Madison, most of their clients are men in their forties. That said, the clientele by and large come from all different backgrounds and socio-economic levels. Not only that, the reasons that drive them to these adultery websites are varied as well.  According to Professor Schwartz, “Some are looking for sex because they are in sexless marriages with people they love or don’t want to leave for other reasons but cannot have sex with. Others are stimulation junkies — they just can’t be satisfied with sex with only one person, even if they love that person. Some people want to ‘shake up’ their lives, there are people with a ‘kink’, something they enjoy about sex that their partner wouldn’t do.” Though they provide the venue, most cheating sites are unapologetic for the service they provide. A spokesman for Datingforcheaters.com, a site with three million members, states simply that these people are “adults.” Ashley Madison’s Biderman has a similar take, “I believe in people’s freedom, they have the right to choose who they want to be, especially when it comes to sexuality.” To learn more on this topic, read the insight of Marlene M. Maheu and Rona Subotnik in their book, Infidelity on the Internet: Virtual Relationships and Real Betrayal.

Become a Social Butterfly to Get Dates

People Dancing at a Discotheque

Social butterflies are those lucky people who get invited to all the best parties, soirées, box socials and get-togethers. They are generally gregarious, stylish, charming and popular. They also get lots of dates. And it stands to reason, not only for having these great social qualities but the fact that they meet lots of people. It’s just the rule of averages, the more people you meet the more likely your chance of finding someone attractive who is attracted to you. Why not try to become a social butterfly then, improve your career through networking and your social life by making more friends and getting more dates? But how do you become a social butterfly? First, consider if you really have what it takes to be one. Of course, everyone can put in a little more effort to have a vibrant social life. But if you are an introvert by nature and have a difficult time making small talk, perhaps work on your social skills and improve your lot, but don’t shoot for being an absolute social butterfly. Instead, build a social life that reflects who you are and your values. If you have all the makings of a social butterfly but need to amp up your game, read on. Next, change your mindset. See yourself being a successful social butterfly. Focus on why you want to be one and what you have to do to accomplish this goal.

Remember, a social butterfly tries to talk with everyone. If you are a wallflower or only like talking to people you know, this won’t work for you. You have to be comfortable in your own skin to be a social butterfly. Don’t worry about embarrassing yourself. If you do, just laugh about it, make a joke of it, and hold your head up high. You will win people over. They’ll love your resilience. Dress the part. Make sure you are striking and fashionable. That doesn’t mean to change yourself completely or your style. Just turn it up. Make it chic. Introduce them to the newest version of you. Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone else. Take compliments gracefully. Listen generally to others. Be positive. Learn to read other people, their tone, facial expressions, body language and gestures. Find out what the group dynamic is and where you can fit in. Remember to use your body language and eye contact to your advantage. Flirt. Everyone likes to be flirted with. And you can quickly gauge who is interested in you and who isn’t. Be comfortable approaching people. Do something fun, funny, touching or whimsical and get yourself in the spotlight. You will be attracting people and getting phone numbers before you know it. Get to know all the social events, friend’s parties, Meetup groups, Eventbrites and other things you are interested in. And soon you’ll have more dates than you know what to do with. For more insight on how to be more social and get dates, read the advice of Susan Rabin and Barbara Lagowski in their book, 101 Ways to Flirt: How to Get More Dates and Meet Your Mate.