Does the book, The Game, Really Help Pick up Women?

pickup

Does the book, The Game, Really Help Pick up Women?

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and the “negs” or put-downs are some of the techniques found in Neil’ Strauss’s book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. Though it sounds like a self-help book, it in fact isn’t. It’s more of a narrative with ideas and techniques interlaced in-between. It is an engaging read. Once you start this book it’s hard to put down.

Strauss’s mentor named Mystery is a Canadian given to breakdowns and bouts of self-pity when he isn’t chasing the girls. Their house in Hollywood gets sunk in adolescent moral depravity. And the first woman that doesn’t fall for his technique becomes his wife, hitting him with how shallow he’s been all along. Not a very explosive ending, instead rather predictable. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t techniques in the book, their certainly are. But does the book really help pick up women? One problem that seems to pop up is despite the authors repeated insistence that this technique works on smart women, he doesn’t give any evidence. He does pick up one law school student. But she also happens to be a Playboy Playmate.

The techniques used in this book may only attract a certain kind of woman, those who suffer from attraction of desperation. These are women who didn’t grow up with parents who had a healthy, well-adjusted relationship. And so they are looking for someone to mirror that relationship with, in order for them to solve it, move past it and to heal. If she grew up in a household where her mother was put down, then of course a pickup artist using put-downs is going to attract her. The truth is these seem to be acronym and heavily jargoned programs designed to make suckers out of desperate and lonely men who have lost touch with how to engage the interest of a woman. Besides that, the system is shallow and based on making a woman feel bad about herself and chase the man in an effort to validate herself to him.

Turning the tables might be good in order to get some women into bed. But for the purposes of attracting a partner with the right qualities desirable for a long term, happy, well-adjusted and committed relationship, this book comes up empty. Instead of trying well-worn and age old techniques dressed up new again, why not invest in yourself? Get a new look that shines light on a different side of you. Try out new hobbies or rediscover old ones. Boost your confidence. Chat someone up. You don’t need this book. All you need is the right outlook and to get busy renewing your love life and it, the it you’re looking for, will occur. For more advice read, The Anti-Pickup Line: Real Habits to Naturally Attract Stunning Women by Charlie Houpert.

How to Find Him

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How to Find Him

Are you tired of waiting around for prince charming? It makes a great story. But in reality, if you are just waiting for the right guy to find you, you will kiss a lot of frogs without finding any princes. Instead, it pays to be proactive with your love life, like so many other aspects of life, rather than just wait for whoever comes along. But how do you find him, the right guy? He may not be the one, if such a thing exists, but the one for you. Don’t just sit on your duff and wait for him to arrive. He may not. And when he does see you, he may not recognize your interest, or that you two could be the perfect item.

Here’s how to make things happen. The first step, develop a gaze that shows how attractive and mysterious you are. Don’t just make eye contact, give him a look that will make him whither in his shoes. He’ll either strike up the courage to approach you, get a wingman to accompany him for a little support, or he’ll walk away, in which case it’s time to move on to the next potential candidate. If you see a cute guy walking a dog, approach them. Play with and pet it. Show how much you like dogs and start a little conversation. It’s a great, easy icebreaker. If you are an animal lover you already have something in common. And owning a dog shows he’s affectionate, responsible, caring and loving; good relationship traits.

If there is a nice guy you’d like to get to know better, use a pickup line. If a man uses it, it’s trite, unimaginative and falls flat. If a woman uses it, it’s funny, cheeky and lets him know you are interested. If you are at a sports bar or venue and see a guy you are interested in, use the game as an icebreaker. Ask who’s winning. What team is he rooting for? Ask about the rules. These questions will make him feel masculine as he can enlighten you on the information he knows. It will get the conversation flowing. And you’ll be able to judge his interest in you quickly. If you are a fellow sports fan, it should be easy to get the small talk rolling.

Another great way to capture a man’s heart is to be the damsel in distress. Have a problem you want him to solve. This works well on someone you know or have had your eye on for some time. Ask him to fix something for you, be it the printer in the copy room, something at your desk, your car in the parking lot, or wherever or whatever needs fixing. If he isn’t handy ask for his advice on something. Then thank him for his help. Offer to help him with something. Better yet invite him to dinner or lunch, on you as a thank you. There are lots of subtle and fun ways to maneuver the right man into your life. For more advice read, Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love you Deserve! By Matthew Hussey.

Guys to Watch Out for

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Guys to Watch Out for

Lots of women come out of a divorce or a long term relationship with no idea what they are looking for in their next love interest. After the healing process, lots of ladies want to get back out there and experience the dating scene. And why wouldn’t you? With internet dating it has never been easier to find singles to chat with, go out with and perhaps start a new romance with. But if you don’t know what you are looking for it can be easy to fall for Mr. Wrong. Red flags may stream across your face, yet you’ll sit there contently oblivious to what is about to sneak up on you and smack you across the face.

Consider what you are really looking for. Have a list, but don’t make your standards too high. Instead, you should include things like a good sense of humor, trustworthiness, intelligence, conscientiousness and the two of you should have chemistry. Now that you have an idea of what you are looking for, it pays to know which guys to watch out for as well. First, look out for the walking wounded. Both men and women have this problem. This is someone who never healed from their past relationship but instead jumped right into the next one. He has problems with his self-esteem. He’s looking for a rebound or a quick jump in the hay.

The next guy you want to watch out for is the smooth operator. He’ll have you in bed so fast you won’t know what hit you. And by the time you can scoop up your clothes and ask where this relationship is going, he’s out the door, won’t return your calls and has disappeared out of sight. These guys generally know what the right lines are and can push the right buttons. If the guy who is sweet talking you seems to be using lines, if he’s too good to be true, if your b.s. sensors are screaming and you have a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach about him, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. If you aren’t sure and none of these obvious warning signs are going off, evaluate his speech. What does he say to you? Are his comments mostly about your physical appearance? Does he show concern for the things you are interested in? Do you have deep intellectual conversations or is everything kept on the surface?

Ask for a little favor. See if he is willing to do it. If he backs away or always has excuses why he can’t help you or give in to a small request, this relationship isn’t for you. Is this guy scared of commitment? If you are looking for commitment and he has never been in a serious relationship, chances are he won’t now. If you have been dating a long time but he doesn’t want to use labels like “girlfriend”, you aren’t ever going to get a commitment out of him. Evaluate if you are okay with that. For more advice read, Dating Advice for Women: Stop the Dating Time Wasters and Go Out and Pick a Winner by Lisa Kelly.

Must Haves for the Single Girl

single-ladies

Must Haves for the Single Girl

Whether you are just out of a relationship, are playing the field or like Amelia Earhart you just love flying solo, there are certain things that are a must have for a single girl in this day and age. The little black dress isn’t the only thing you need. One thing you shouldn’t live without is an amazing photo of yourself. This is the shot where your face, hair and figure come together and blow the viewer away. Hang it on the fridge for when dates come over, use it as your profile photo on dating websites, and email it to would be blind dates and other suitors. You’ll be on their mind, no denying that. The next thing you need is that killer pair of heels. These can make you look sexy and stylish in any outfit from jeans to cropped khakis to your favorite skirt. You don’t have to tower over everyone. One-inch heels will make your strides confident and assured. You’ll be able to see more cute guys from the higher vantage point too. When it’s time to have a guy over, make sure you have one rocking CD in your collection. Just chick music will put him off. But if you have one Stones, The Clash or something a little edgy, it will show him that you’re well rounded, open-minded and not so thin skinned.

Get yourself one smooth pickup line that you can use in different situations. It can just be as simple as “Having a good time?” Have a line to detract would-be suitors that don’t cut the mustard. “Sorry, I have a boyfriend,” will do just fine. If you want to impress a date when you have him over why not stock your fridge with some nice microbrews? It’ll show you have great taste and really win him over, particularly if he’s a fan of the brand you’ve chosen. Have a business card ready. This is as true for business networking as it is for dating. It shows that you are a professional, an individual and you have your own stuff going on. Men love independent women in this day and age, especially if she has a particular passion or career path that models his own. Make sure you have an honest guy friend whom you can reach out to. Female friends are great to get relationship advice from. But if you don’t understand where your date is coming from, go to the source. If you have a guy you can trust you can go to him with particular situations and get insight from a guy’s point of view. What’s better than having someone on the inside to help you form your game plan? For more advice read, The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible by Ali Binazir, M.D.

The best Pickup Lines are Strategies

Woman with laptop on cafe

The best Pickup Lines are Strategies

Got your eye on that cute waiter at your local Friday night place? Want to meet that pretty girl in accounting? But what can you say? It’s not easy to break the ice. You don’t want to appear lame or like you can’t get a date. You want to dazzle them. But what do you say? Relax, we’ve got you covered. The best pickup lines aren’t lines at all, they’re strategies. Master these and you won’t find yourself without a date for long. Try the Fly-by flirt. If you see someone you are interested in checking out the toothbrushes, point out the cheapest one. Tell them to get a little candy, you can’t always be serious. And when you see them at the checkout line, ask if they want to relax over coffee. Just some little witty comments as you brush by someone will get them interested in you, may brighten their day and will give you an in to strike up a further conversation later on. You can try the direct approach. Simply walk up to them, introduce yourself and tell them you find them attractive. Everyone likes to be found attractive. And if they are rude to you, that reflects poorly on them not on you. It takes a lot of guts. But really, what do you have to lose?

Are you a college student, or do you work on projects outside your home or office? Ask someone a question who you think is attractive in the library, classroom, coffee house, bar, restaurant or wherever you study or work. Ask them how many people they think get hit on in a coffee house versus the overall number of patrons who visit the place per day. That way, you aren’t directly hitting on the person but you are starting a conversation in an interesting way. If you like to play bar games such as foosball, pool, darts or shuffleboard but you see someone attractive you want to get to know, invite them to play with you. Tell them you need a partner. If you have one ask your friend to sit this one out and pretend he or she has a hurt wrist. It’s a great way to get to know them in a fun way. Here’s a great strategy, flatter them. But not the typical kind of flattery, it has to be something really unique and specific to them. Tell them their eyes are the green of the sea you fell in love with on summer vacations as a child. Tell them they are the best looking person you’ve ever seen in a suit or a dress! Tell them you just had to let them know that they have the brightest smile and the biggest laugh and it just warmed your heart seeing them from the other side of the room. Who wouldn’t want to date someone who says things like that? Lastly, ask them a question. If you see something in their cart at the supermarket, ask them about it. Is it spicy? How do you prepare it? And let the conversation float on from there. For more advice on this topic, read Pickups & Come-Ons: Lines for all Occasions by Knock Knock.