Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

attraction

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

Guys are traditionally the pursuers, and even though we live in an enlightened society most women still prefer it that way. But lots of guys wonder what kind of man women are attracted to, and how to bring the best qualities out in themselves. Women tend to vary greatly in tastes. Lucky for most poor dolts who have hardly a clue, science has stepped in to try and answer the dizzying, age-old question of what kind of guy women want. Here are some of the things science has uncovered. If you’re flying without your wingman, you may find yourself cruising over lonesomeville for quite some time. For one thing, women rate men more attractive in group photos rather than when by themselves, at least according to a study out of the University of San Diego. Therefore, it stands to reason you look better when someone’s there with you. Researchers say this is due to something called the “cheerleader effect.” People look more attractive with their faces together, since incongruities in any one person are sort of evened out by the whole group. Another thing, women like men who know how to work a room. If you are always with an entourage and you’re the life of the party, or at least she thinks you are, you look high status and someone fun to be around.

Are you a single dad? Be sure to take your baby out cruising. Just keep it during daytime hours. Not only will you get father of the year, you might score a few phone numbers. A study in France found that men who cooed, smiled at and talked to infants were 40% more likely to score a woman’s phone number than those who ignored a baby. Researchers say it shows a greater propensity for being a good dad, should the couple have offspring. Some guys shave every day. Others sport a righteous beard. But why not shave every ten days? According to Australian researchers, men who did so were seen as the most attractive. This layer of stubble is thought to project just the right level of masculinity. Here’s some simple advice. Get some nice wheels and you’ll turn heads. If you can’t afford it, borrow some. A British study found that the same dude in a Bentley Continental was found way more attractive than one in a Ford Fiesta, even with the same clothes and facial expressions. Status is the reason, and the projection of resources which he may be willing to share with a certain, special lady.

If you’re an animal lover, taking your dog for a walk may not just be a necessity, but a way to meet someone. A French study found that women were three times more likely to give up their digits to a man walking his dog versus one who approached alone. Dogs break the ice. They also project kindness, sensitivity and thoughtfulness, all qualities women find appealing. Got a little extra time? Why not volunteer? A Cornell study found that women who knew a man volunteered found him a better candidate for dating and a long-term relationship, due to the fact that he was more selfless and compassionate. If you really want to get a woman to fall for you, make her laugh. A University of New Mexico study found that those guys who could make a sharp witted quip and make a woman laugh were more likely to have short-term, uncommitted sex than their straight-laced counterparts. These quick bursts reveal creativity and intellect, two qualities women greatly desire.

Lastly, if you want to get more hits on your dating profile, include the words “creative,” “ambitious,” and “laugh.” Dating sight Zoosk did a survey and found profiles that had these words got 33% more messages. Include words like “read” or “book” or exercise words like jogging, lifting weights and the like also increased message frequency. Be sure to take it slow. Mention “drinks” or “dinner” too quickly and your response rate will plummet 35%. So this advice improves your hit rate. But what about quality control? Read, How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back by Henry Cloud, and you’ll have that covered too.

Pet Custody can be a real Heel in Vermont

custody

Pet Custody can be a real Heel in Vermont

Some people consider pets to be possessions, and others consider them to be a member of the family. The Green Mountain State’s Supreme Court will get a firsthand look at a particular case trying to decide exactly that. At issue is a German wirehaired pointer, an eleven year old pooch whom the divorcing couple who are fighting for custody as one camp puts it or ownership as the other ex-spouse states, proving that pet custody in Vermont can be a real heel. Laura Baker and ex-husband Daniel Hament a childless divorcing couple sorted out the property, the financial affairs are in order. But there is this last little sticking point, and in that whether the dog is to be considered like a child or more like property. Belle, the dog loved by both her owners, forced Baker and Hament into family court. While Baker wanting to have Belle receive joint custody Hament rejected the idea. The pair was originally told by Chittenden Superior Court Judge Linda Levitt that the case would be decided on who cared for the dog more. Hament was a veterinarian who took the dog to work each day. Meanwhile, Baker took care of the dog’s daily needs, and took it for long walks in the forest.

The court said it would not enforce a shared visitation schedule “even if the parties agreed to it.” Hament instead won the dog in that case. The judge said it was because the dog had gone to the Richmond Animal Hospital, where Hament is a vet, as the change in its life would be too disruptive. The judge Levitt found that the husband also “treats the dog like a dog” while on the other hand Baker “treated the dog like a child.” Therefore the judge believed the husband’s “more balanced attitude toward the animal” would be better for Belle overall. Baker and her lawyer appealed and now the case falls on the Vermont Supreme Court. Currently there is a joint ownership arrangement, though the court skipped out on a chance to make that arrangement permanent. Baker argues that her husband getting control of the dog was against another higher court’s ruling, what’s more the decision seemed arbitrary. The court recognizes pets as property but “special property” which should get special privilege when considered in a divorce settlement. In April the Supreme Court upheld the lower court’s decision. It also stated that the lower court shouldn’t get involved in business such as custody and visitation schedules of a dog.  The higher court wrote that “Unlike child custody matters, there is no legislative authority for the court to play a continuing role in the supervision of the parties with respect to the care and sharing of a companion animal.”

Nanci Smith, attorney for the wife’s side, said she was upset that the court decided not to set a “bright-line rule” clarifying the special status of pets. If pets are special property says Smith than why isn’t that recognized by the law? Smith said, “Just because you’re getting divorced, it doesn’t seem the same as giving the piano to somebody. It’s severing an emotional connection that we all value as a society and the Supreme Court has valued in other contexts.” Matt Buckley, the husband’s attorney, said that no new case law came out of this particular case. Though courts around the country have been starting to see pets more as children that can have shared custody, the Vermont Supreme Court instead “didn’t want to go there.” Since dogs are property, only one side can technically own them. This wasn’t about dogs at all, points out Buckley, “Everybody in the courtroom that day were dog lovers. I bring a dog to my office every day. Judge Levitt has a dog. Nanci Smith brings her dog to the office. So everyone in there appreciated the emotional significance of what was being decided.” This isn’t the first case to tackle this issue. Scheele and Scheele v. Dustin, a case that took place in 2009, saw Sarah and Denis Scheele be awarded $3,000 when Lewis Dustin killed the dog as it had ended up on his property. The dog didn’t display any threatening actions. In their ruling the Supreme Court wrote that animals were not just financial burdens when lost but one “derives from the animal’s relationship with its human companions … Indeed, we have suggested that the emotionless economic calculus of property law may not fully compensate a mourning pet owner.” If you want to learn more about pet custody read, What about Wally? Co-Parenting a Pet with Your Ex by Steve May and David Pisarra.

When Dating after 50, It’s all About Tolerance

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When it comes to dating after 50, it’s all about tolerance. There are things you can tolerate and things you can’t. The trick is to figure out which is which. Do you have qualities the other person just has to have such as the same culture or religion? This isn’t a line of thinking that goes with any one sex. Both men and women have deal breakers. Women sometimes hang on to relationships that aren’t good for them, though some men do it too. They think they can change the person they are dating. With the right kind of love, and since you are the right kind of person you think you’ll change them. But frustration builds and actually hurts the relationship when these plans don’t work. They simply can’t work. Because the problem is that no one can change unless they come to the conclusion themselves, the old lead a horse to water model. There are women who decide settling is better than being alone, and that she’s with a good man. The truth is for people over 50 today, with the divorce rate so high, there are lots of people to date. There are also lots of ways to meet people. So there is no reason to feel cornered.

Some people are very attached to their pet. They won’t be able to tolerate someone who doesn’t like pets, or doesn’t enjoy the dog or cat as much as they do. You’ll have to figure out where you fit in the family and vice versa. Do you have adult children? What about your mate? If they have kids who are teens, are you okay with that, even when your kids are grown and moved out? Some people can’t tolerate smokers, while others can’t give up their cigarettes. Know how you feel about smoking before dating someone who does. Is it important for you to have someone you can share an occasional bubbly with or is someone in AA okay? What is the situation in the bedroom? Each person is different and it’s important to know whether you are compatible. What are the money issues? Who pays and how does it all work? The value of dating at this age is you really know yourself and you aren’t often hemmed in by social obligations like getting married or having children. There’s a lot more freedom, but you still want to enjoy it with the right person. Thinking it through now and knowing what you can tolerate in a relationship and what you can’t, and what your mate should be able to tolerate and what they shouldn’t have to put up with, is what it’s all about. Enjoy this very special time in your life and the new freedom it affords you. For more, pick up a copy of Over 50 Dating Secrets: #1 Senior Dating Guide For Mature Singles by P. David O’Brien and Over 50 Dating.

Can your Dog get you Dates?

 dates

Everyone knows that pets are good for your health. They can make you feel a sense of well-being. And petting your favorite furry friend can even lower your blood pressure. Recent research out of the National Institutes of Health concluded that owning a pet can decrease loneliness, especially for those who live alone. But dogs and cats aren’t only good companions. Your dog can get you dates, at least according to a recent U.K. study. 5% of dog owners met someone and dated them according to their findings, and 1.5% of these people are still dating or together. What makes a better introduction than two pet owners whose dogs like each other? Pet owners love their pets, and it’s certainly a good avenue of conversation, a way to break the ice. After all, you know that you both have a love of animals in common. Enter two dating websites for pet lovers, PetPeopleMeet.com and DateMyPet.com. One woman outlined her experience meeting and falling in love with a dog rescuer she met on the former site. Many people wish their relationships with human mates were as easy and loving as it was with their pets. Dr. Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP picked up on this and penned an article entitled, “Can Pets Improve your Relationship?” Dr. Phillips elucidates an interesting phenomenon. She states that the characteristics we often seek in a mate are the same that we already have with our feisty feline or precocious pooch.

Still, pets can help bring a relationship together or it can tear it apart. Sometimes the pets get jealous for instance. Or they cause trouble when the couple is sharing a bed. These issues can be solved with a simple trip to the vet and some surfing online to find ways to counteract this behavior. But it’s important to note that often our pets are like a family member. So when dating, it’s important to find someone that say likes dogs if you are a dog owner, or at least is willing to tolerate them and be kind. Our pets in a way are a reflection and extension of us. But beyond that if you look at your pets as emotional baggage you’ll feel bad about yourself and make them feel bad, for no reason at all. Instead, you should look for someone who appreciates your pets as much as you do. Don’t get rid of your dog to suit a boyfriend or a girlfriend. That is way too big a sacrifice. You will harbor anger and resentment toward this person. It isn’t an equal partnership from the beginning. And think of the poor dog or cat. Certainly your pet can be an asset in finding a date.  But the trick is finding someone who can appreciate your pet long term, can see it as an asset, and have it bring you closer together rather than driving you farther apart. To learn more about the special relationship people have with their pets, read the insight of P. Elizabeth Anderson in her book, The Powerful Bond between People and Pets: Our Boundless Connections to Companion Animals.