Some of us see the glass as half empty, others as half full. Many of us ask, am I thirsty? Sure, overall philosophical outlook is one thing we tie our egos to. But there is something known as taking it too far. Misery may love company but company doesn’t love it back. Company excuses itself and hightails it outta there. The truth is being way too pessimistic repulses anyone except for the loathsome few who feel the same way you do. And who wants to date someone like that? Is negativity ruining your love life? Take a look and see if you’ve taken it too far and are driving potential suitors away with an overindulgence in pessimism.
Whenever you hear that something is up, do you always assume that the worst is true? Do you feel snubbed by a friend you waved to only to find out they didn’t see you? Perhaps you still don’t believe them. Always assuming the worst is a sign you are being too negative. When considering something that’s happening, do you look at it from the other person’s point of view, or do you agonize over your own point of view and what an inconvenience, a terrible decision or a slap in the face it is? Always consider the other person’s point of view. Otherwise you are way too wrapped up in yourself.
Are you always the victim? Do you meet every new catastrophe with, “That’s my luck”? Do you feel that no matter how hard you climb there’s always someone or something that knocks you off the ladder to success? Of course it’s okay to be upset, annoyed, even lick your wounds when life doesn’t go your way. But if you wallow in self-pity no one is going to think you are fun or interesting anymore. People back away from misery like backing away from a plague victim. Sure they seem nice and understanding but the whole time they are making their way to the door. Do you have high expectations of everyone, yet they often let you down? What is encapsulated in that particular philosophy is egocentrism. If all you can reflect on is how others have disappointed you, you are inadvertently putting yourself in the center of the universe.
No romantic partner wants to endlessly keep trying to fulfil your expectations. Sooner or later they’ll get frustrated and mosey on. If you can’t accept defeat then you are not focusing on one of the essential parts of being human. We all make mistakes. We all get kicked down the rungs on the ladder of life. We all feel this way sometimes. But it’s when you feel grouchy, irritable, negative and hopeless all the time that it’s a problem. If you feel like this, come to terms with it, understand it and begin to reverse it. Your love life and your life in general will improve considerably. For more advice read the New York Times bestseller, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life by Judith Orloff, M.D.