Do you need to up your dating game? If the potential candidates don’t even begin to cut the mustard, you may have to change your perspective. It doesn’t always come easy. Sometimes you have to get some new facts, receive some insight, come to terms with something from your past or try a new tactic in order to find love. Here are some dating stats to help mix things up, change your prospects or even your perspective. First, did you know that 63% of happily married couples meet their spouse through their network of friends? So why not elicit a friend or two, or maybe get the word out that you are single and ready to mingle. Some friends love to play matchmaker. And don’t leave out friends of friends. Facebook and other social media sites can acquaint you with some of them. And parties and social events with others. In fact, why not throw your own party and invite friends, and tell them to bring their friends? Remember that 44% of Americans are single according to the latest U.S. Census data. So the dating pool is indeed quite large and there’s someone out there for everybody. How do people let the other party know they are interested? 25% touch them when they talk. 51% flatter the person. And 23% get their friend to inform the object of their interest.
Don’t get too concerned ladies, but the numbers do favor guys. For every 100 unmarried women there are 86 unmarried men in the U.S. However, the odds are in a gal’s favor in some warm and sunny cities, especially out West. Tempe, Arizona, Austin, Texas, Santa Ana and Sunnyvale California and Fort Lauderdale, Florida are just some of the places you’ll find the numbers in a lady’s favor. The best place to be single and meet someone out and about is New York City. 50% of people in New York State are single, 70% of Washington D.C. residents are. The worst two places are Utah at a 59% marriage rate, and Idaho where 60% of them are. Lots of people go to bars to meet people. But only nine percent of women and two percent of men meet someone in a bar and have a relationship with them. Reticent about online dating? Don’t be. 40% of singles in the U.S. have a profile on an online dating site. If you don’t have one, sign up. But make sure you post your photo. Profiles with photos get double the amount of email responses than those without. But don’t break up over email, even if you met online. Do it face to face, even though 48% of those who met online admit do breaking up via email. When you do get that first date take your time to make sure you like them or don’t. On average men decide if they want a second date with a woman within fifteen minutes. Women take somewhere around an hour to decide. The number one argument topic according to the University of Colorado in Denver is money. For more dating advice, read How to Date Better: Finding, Friending, Hooking Up, Breaking Up, and Falling in Love in the 21st Century by Ella Ceron.
Are you sick of the buildup to Valentine’s Day? It seemed like heart-shaped boxes flooded the shelves of retail stores almost as soon as they took the Christmas stuff down. If you’re single, all those happy coupled up people, even the not so happy, look forward to this day and forget all about you and your not so coupled up cohorts. Lots of commercials flood the airwaves. Society is bursting at the seams with ads that make companies rich but couples insecure about whether they got the right gift or not, if their loved one will be satisfied, and how their gift measures up to the one they’ll get. But doesn’t this whole focus on couples leave out those who don’t have a significant other? Of course it leaves them singled out. That’s why on February 15th singles now celebrate Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.) (singlesawareness.com). There is a little controversy there. Some singles want to celebrate it on the day Valentine’s Day is held. Others don’t want the commercialism of Valentine’s Day to overshadow their point, that singles are important and necessary to our society. Others point out that it’s too depressing to have it on Valentine’s Day, particularly with an acronym like SAD.
That’s why those flying solo are asked to throw parties and get-togethers, exchange gifts and celebrate singledom. According to their website, S.A.D. awareness and interest grows more popular every year. Organizers of this holiday suggest spending the time up until Valentine’s Day sending yourself flowers or buying other tokens, and organizing a single’s mixer where people can meet, get to know each other and enjoy being unattached. Their website also has some fun suggestions on how to spend the big day itself. Leave a bouquet of flowers with a card on your desk at work and enjoy while your coworkers try to figure out who they are from. Another idea is to drop in and pay a visit to someone with no visitors at a local hospital. Bring a basket of Valentine’s Day goodies. It may be one of the most moving experiences of your life. Perhaps the nursing home too would be a good choice. Why not treat yourself to a great dinner and invite a friend? Volunteer at the local homeless shelter, food pantry, animal shelter or whatever charity is near and dear to you in your neighborhood. Nothing makes you feel better than helping those less fortunate. It really helps put the world in perspective too. Celebrate who you are. Love yourself and show that love at this year’s single’s awareness day celebration.
There is a lot of pressure to get a date for Valentine’s Day. But is it worth it? Splurging on someone you hardly know, going through the motions of a relationship that is over, or trying to renew something with an old flame that’s moved on do not seem like good choices (askmen.com). It’s better to celebrate Valentine’s Day single guy style. Shed the need to grab a date. If it isn’t real, why fake it? You don’t need a date. In fact, you’ll save a whole lot of money, time and awkwardness if you just take a little time to focus on your first love, numero uno. Here are some ways you can enjoy Valentine’s Day while flying solo. First, realize how overpriced all of the gifts are on this Hallmark holiday and be proud that you don’t have to fall victim to it. Instead, with all the money you’ve saved, why not splurge on yourself? What was that thing you’ve had your eye on and haven’t picked up yet? Well, maybe now is the time to get it. Have a holiday for yourself. Get a massage, play a round of golf, hit the batting cages or grab another single friend and hit the single’s bar. There could be a great person there who doesn’t have a date. Perhaps this would be a good time to sidle over and chat one up who catches your eye.
If you were invited to a party, go stag. Why not? Someone else has already footed the bill for the food and booze. There might be singles there. If there aren’t, hang for a bit and hit a couple of places on the way home. Lots of singles go out and drown their sorrows on Valentine’s Day. You can go and cheer them up. Who knows where that might lead? If you know a lot of single friends, why not throw a party? It would be a great chance to get together. If you have some other single friends, go and hit all the single’s bars. They can be your wingmen. Or if you’re tired of looking for a date, retire to drinks, pool, darts, bowling, and whatever other stuff you like to do. Do you have a hobby you hardly spend time on anymore due to other responsibilities? Why not spend a few hours with that? Get in front of your canvas, your computer, pick up that axe, or slide under that old hot rod you’ve been meaning to fix up. If you are just tired of everything around you, your social circle, your job, and your town, take a little trip. A road trip with a single buddy would be a blast. If you have the means, buy a plane ticket and head out to Vegas. Valentine’s Day is just one silly day out of the year where people go and drop tons of cash to show how much they care, only to break up or get divorced. Some people stick together, but Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with it. Realize that and smile.
First, realize that there is nothing wrong with being single on Valentine’s Day. All they are trying to do is get people to drop a fortune on stuff they really don’t need. Next, understand that single women are the fastest growing demographic in America today. So there are lots of single ladies out there, not just you. Now that you are enlightened and hopefully feeling a little better, why not get all your girlfriend’s together and celebrate Valentine’s Day single girl’s style (cosmopolitan.com)? Check out the local bar scene, hit the clubs, try a few games at the local pool hall or bowling alley, enjoy some culture at museums, galleries and theaters. You can have an incredible girl’s night out. Why not try a spa day? A treatment might be nice. There’s the sauna, hot stone massage, and the pinnacle of relaxation- the Jacuzzi. A manicure and a pedicure could be on the menu. Take in a nice restaurant with your friends. There are plenty around and all kinds to choose from. If you know enough single friends, why not throw a party? Have them invite their single friends and soon you’ll have your own singles mixer.
A secret admirer session, like a secret Santa where everyone brings a gift and everyone leaves with one, is a fun way to make sure each person at the party gets a Valentine. If you would rather spend a little time alone, rent a few movies with your favorite crushes in them, get into your pajamas, grab a cup of herbal tea and get comfy on the couch while you have your own movie marathon. Since you’re not spending a bunch of dough on a romantic interest, spend it on yourself. Go and get that little special something you’ve had your eye on for some time. Whether it’s an outfit, a new pair of shoes, that perfect accessory or a new phone, don’t feel guilty; it’s probably cheaper than what you would be spending. Are you fearing that day at the office where lots of coworkers will have bouquets delivered while you come up empty handed? Instead of sitting through another dull day at the office, with this new added phenomenon, grab a friend and play hooky. Call out sick and do something fun. Go to the movies, take a little day trip, or grab some inner tubes and go tubing!
When affluent partners divorce, there’s the possibility that one party will have to pay alimony or spousal support to the other. This often occurs when one party makes most if not all of the family’s income while the other either doesn’t work at all or earns a very small percentage of the family’s total income. When the more affluent spouse is told to pay a percentage of his or her income to the ex-spouse, this demand is very often met with adversity. It’s natural that any person wouldn’t want to be financially responsible for another who is no longer involved in their lives. Some in this situation are so against the idea of having to pay this kind of money that they purposefully find a way to make substantially less income in an attempt to alter the payments.
This phenomenon has been termed Recently Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome or RAIDS. The more affluent party claims that they no longer make enough money to pay such high amounts of alimony and or child support, bringing about the need for a renegotiation of payment amount. A divorce case was brought up in the New York Law Journal where a husband paying alimony suddenly was making substantially less money from when he was still with his wife. A ruling was made based on what is called the “present income” rule, whereby a spouse pays less in alimony based on a drop in income. It was also noted in the article that if a court believes a person to have voluntarily created a situation where they made less money in an alleged effort to pay less alimony that a court would not simply allow that person to pay less support. If in the situation where you’re the person being paid support and you believe your ex has voluntarily placed him or herself in a situation in an attempt to pay you less, be sure to gather as much evidence as you can to support this claim.