In the olden days, men were barred from being present for the birth. Today, it’s thought that he should be there to support her, be there for her and witness his child being brought into the world. The truth is that, although his support is admirable, you probably want to ban your man from the delivery room. This is not a popular sentiment right now. But it could be a practical one. There are a whole host of things that could go wrong while you’re in there. It’s not pretty. Having him there instead of making it better could actually make it much worse.
First, think about how well he does with blood. Some people can’t stand the sight of it. Then there’s the screaming and moaning. He might pass out. Then you will both have medical bills. You have enough going on in that moment to worry about whether or not he’s alright. While he may be supportive and caring and say words of encouragement while you are going through contractions, he may also irritate you to no end. His words might drive you crazy. No one wants a blowout fight when a baby is coming. The pain of being in labor and giving birth are enough to endure.
If you let him see the birth it may give him issues that can carry over into your sex life. There are those guys who are fine. In fact, the couple’s sex life is just as healthy and vibrant as before the baby. But some guys get an image from the birth stuck in their mind. And they can’t look at you down there the same way again, at least not for a while. Some very natural things happen during childbirth. But when he stinks up the bathroom you’ll have no leverage if you let him in the delivery room. While holding his hand when pushing seems to be a really nice gesture and a scene we’ve all warmed to on TV sitcoms throughout the years, the truth of the matter is when it’s time to push you could quite literally break his hand. That certainly would put a damper on him holding his child later on.
He could have a meal in front of you. At a time when you can’t eat, having someone enjoy lunch right in front of you can really be heartbreaking. Though it sounds funny, right out of a movie or something, you could knock his lights out when say you are waving around and he moves in to help or comfort you. Lastly, he may want to video tape the birth. Who wants to see that video? It just might be best to have another female present to comfort you. Surely there are some things your husband is better left out of. If he insists on being there, or you really want him there, have him read the book, The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions by Penny Simkin.