Men are caught in Gender Roles says study

gender roles

Men are caught in Gender Roles says study

Today society allows or even encourages women to take on traditionally male roles such as working outside the home. There are lots of households where for the first time the woman makes more than the man. However, according to a new study, men are caught in gender roles and it may be to society’s detriment. There has been tremendous change for the charge of feminism. We have seen dramatic transformations in American attitudes toward homosexuals. However, our concept on heterosexual masculinity hasn’t changed. Though we are seeing more stay at home dads, they make up only 1% of marriages. Men continue to be rare in traditional female industries such as childcare, nursing or secretarial work. In a recent Pew Research Center survey, 51% of Americans believed that children were raised better if their mother remained in the home. Yet, a scant 8% said this about fathers. Even wanting time off was considered less masculine according to a study out of the University of Florida.

In our overtly masculine culture, even though gender roles have changed for women, any boy who exhibits feminine behavior is still ostracized. Sociology professor Barbara Risman of the University of Chicago said of this phenomenon, “If girls call themselves tomboys, it’s with a sense of pride. But boys make fun of other boys if they step just a little outside the rigid masculine stereotype.” Global Toy Experts did a survey and found that over 50% of women wouldn’t give their son a doll, but only 32% said the same thing about giving a toy truck or car to a girl.

Boys don’t veer off from masculine toys. Those that do, try on dresses, wear pink or like Disney Princesses are maligned by their peers and thought of as weird or strange by adults. Some students are even threatened and ridiculed. A story recently in the L.A. Times talked about a Los Angeles couple who was slurred on the internet because their son preferred traditionally female toys to male ones, even though he self-identifies with being a boy. Though between the years of 1971 to 2011 women have flooded into male industries such as law, finance, business, and the hard sciences, only 2% of men have gone into education, the arts and so on. How will this play out as our society progresses? Will we see a loss of femininity in our culture? Or will men become more feminine? In the decades to come even more sweeping changes are bound to shift our society. For more on this topic, read Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine.

Make him Feel Manly

dinner

Make him Feel Manly

We all know that women need validation. She needs to feel beautiful, valued, respected and desired. But what about the man? Of course he needs validation too. And the smart wife and girlfriend pumps up her man’s ego. The one who wants to get dumped emasculates him. But how do you make him feel manly and give him the validation he needs?  First, attend office functions with him. Dress up and charm everyone there. Lift him up and help him figure out the social dynamic and get ahead. In a restaurant, ask him to order for you, if you trust him to do so. Praise him when the meal is amazing, and about how well he knows you.

Send him a flirty or steamy text every once in a while. Let him know how desirable he is. Write him a little love note and put it in his jacket pocket, backpack or brief case.  Brag about him to your girlfriends, when he gives you something you want to brag about, even better, brag about him to his friends, or his family. Give him a massage when you know he’s sore or stressed. Make him his favorite drink. Surprise him with his favorite meal or take him to his favorite restaurant. Don’t nit-pick when driving. Give him some slack. Ask his advice whenever you are making a big decision in your life and thank him for his advice.

Let him help you with something around the house, fix something, move something, it can be something small, even opening a jar. Then praise him. Show appreciation for him when he helps you. Let him pick an action flick or thriller for movie night every once in a while, and show enthusiasm for it. If he’s into a particular sports team, watch a game with him. Take him to a local game, and be excited about it. If he’s into the outdoors, take him away for a surprise weekend getaway skiing, surfing, off road biking, camping or whatever he’s into.

If he’s into cars take him to a local car show when it comes around. Go to the car dealership and pretend you are shopping for a car, and test drive that new ride he’s been eye balling. Why not rent a muscle car for the weekend? If he’s into history take him to a reenactment or a museum. Buy him interesting books as little gifts, or videos or even documentaries. If he’s into barbecue or chili, go to the local chili cook off. Why not cook chili together? Surprise him with a trip to the local barbecue restaurant. Buy him a barbecue dry rub or sauce sampler for him to try. Find out what manly things your guy does and show him how much you care, and validate his masculinity all at the same time. For more advice read, Keep Your Man: Seven Ways to His Happiness by Angelina G. Bell.

Gender Roles have made a Dramatic Shift

stay-at-home-dad

Gender Roles have made a Dramatic Shift

47% of the workforce will be women by 2050. In 1950 that number was 30%. Though we take our ideas of gender roles, men the breadwinners and women the housekeepers, from outdated 1950’s style thinking, the truth is that throughout history men and women have worked together in different ways to provide for the family and manage the household. The number of women may even surpass the number of men in the short term. Gender roles have made a dramatic shift due to the Great Recession.

Traditional male employment industries such as construction and manufacturing took a nose dive. Meanwhile, the only industries that seemed to have survived and thrive are those traditionally the spheres of women such as healthcare, the service industry and education. So does that mean that men are flooding the household realm while the women work outside of the home? Though there has been an uptick in househusbands, research has shown that there is no flood of men into the home. A 2009 New York Times article points out that women who are laid off spend their extra time doting on the children. Time spent with the children remained low no matter if the man was gainfully employed or not.

While the focus used to be more on the job search and the nuts and bolts of finding employment, the emotional sphere seems to be making its way to the forefront as well. Psychologists are noting that men are becoming more able to communicate their emotions than in years past, expressing fears and anxieties about joblessness and other issues. Since the early days of humankind men have gone out and brought home the bacon, either by hunting, or by bringing home a salary. While modern feminism broke women away from traditional roles, men have been slow to adapt. Their egos are wrapped up in their jobs and providing. Though many feel at home being in the home, others chafe at the idea, feel it isn’t manly or are lost. Many social scientists and psychologists note that this breaking out of traditional gender roles is good in the sense that it brings egalitarianism into a marriage or cohabitating relationship. Still, women and men aren’t treated equal. Women still make less than men. Men and women are now free to define themselves. They are struggling with the gender roles of the past, but they are free to define their own future. For more on this topic read, The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of Gender, Work, and Family by Kathleen Gerson.

Grand Gestures that will Blow him away

woman-surprising-her-man

Grand Gestures that will Blow him away

Are you dating or married to a guy you are totally in love with? Do you want to show him how much you care? For guys it’s easy to come up with ideas to sweep a girl off her feet. A romantic dinner, her favorite flowers, a day at the spa, and a weekend away are all romantic ways to show her how you feel. With guys it’s a little different. You can be romantic with some. With others they find it a blow to their ego. He has no problem doing these things for her. But romance is considered something for the lady. So accepting a romantic gesture can be uncomfortable for some men, even emasculating. His friends may even tease him about it depending on the type of guy he is and they are. So it’s important that when you want to do a grand gesture to blow him away, you do it to fit him, his style and make him melt without blowing his cover. You don’t want to do something nice and end up making him the butt of jokes from his friends. So how do you deal with that? How can you expertly maneuver this fine line and show him how much you care? Here are some ideas.

How about a surprise vacation? Who doesn’t like a get-away? Where does your man like to go? What does he like to do? If you have the means, there are no shortages of places to go from Hawaii to Greece that he won’t enjoy or brag about. A surprise weekend away is always good. If he has a special hobby you can take him for instance for a surprise weekend skiing at a place he’s never been or always wanted to try, or a golf course he’s never been to. If he’s really into Hollywood, a weekend in L.A. will do the trick. If he’s an outdoorsman take him camping, fishing or hiking in a state or national park he’s never been to. Even bringing him to a hidden gem in your town or country can show how much you care.  What about getting him a gift that keeps on giving? Find out what he’s into. Say he loves bacon, there’s the bacon of the month club. There are one’s for beer, hot sauce, cheese, and so much more.

Ever think of getting him a massage from a proper masseuse? Ask casually first what he thinks of massages before you get him one. Or you can do one for him yourself. Make it a real treat, a full body massage. If you know anyone you can borrow a massage table from, do so. If he’s been particularly stressed out lately, do his chores for him. Give him a little extra time to relax and unwind. It will also show him that you’ve got his back. Set up that thing he’s always wanted to do. From sky diving, bungee jumping, riding in a World War II vintage plane over Manhattan or driving a race car down the track, find out what it is and make secret plans to fulfill it for him. Make him a special dinner once in a while, or buy a nice piece of lingerie if you have a physical relationship and text him photos of yourself. There are lots of things you can do for a man to let him know you love him, and make him feel not only like a man, but like a king. For more advice read, Romantic Gift Ideas for Men & Women-Anniversary, Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Special Occasions by Suzie Summers.

The Bigger a Husband’s Unit, the More Likely his Wife will Stray

stray

The Bigger a Husband’s Unit, the More Likely his Wife will Stray

Guys put a lot of emphasis on the equipment they are packing. Lots of ad space has been given to male enhancement and sexual surgeries, pumps and lots of other things exist to give him those few desperate inches to measure, or leave the competition behind, so they think. In our culture sexual prowess, virility, masculinity and social standing are thought to reside in the size of a man’s member. That’s why this newest study, that the bigger a husband’s unit, the more likely his wife will stray, comes at such a shock.

The research is out of Kenya and the results can be found on the online journal PLOSOne. 545 married heterosexual Kenyan couples took part in this study. Researchers wanted to know what characteristics caused a woman to have an affair. The husband’s penis size when erect was asked by researchers to both husband and wife, using a ruler as a reference point. If there was any disparity they took the average size between both estimates or relied on the more trustworthy spouse. The results were shocking.

Researchers wrote that, “Every one inch longer penis increased the likelihood of women being involved in extra-marital partnership by almost one-and-half times. Women associated large penises with pain and discomfort during sex which precludes the enjoyment and sexual satisfaction that women are supposed to feel.” One participant claimed the reason why was that, “Some penis may be large yet my vagina is small, when he tries to insert it inside, it hurts so much that I will have to look for another man who has a smaller one [penis] and can do it in a way I can enjoy.” Out of the female participants, 6.2% had extramarital affairs during the study, which lasted six months. Other reasons women cheated included being denied sex from their husbands or denied the position that they enjoy, domestic violence, and being unsatisfied with their marital sex life.

This study was conducted to try and impede the spread of HIV in the area. The size of the penis certainly isn’t the most important thing. Men’s preoccupation, particularly in the Western world has been for naught. Though there has been one study to suggest deeper vaginal intercourse can create more internal orgasms for women, this is mostly due to position rather than length. Sexual satisfaction for women starts emotionally. A safe environment, being comfortable with their partner, a lot of foreplay, good communication and practicing different techniques to see what she likes are all more important than length by far. For more on satisfying a woman pick up a copy of, Sex, Your Woman and You: How to Sexually Please Your Woman in the Bedroom and Beyond by Don Asterwood.