Guys Are Drawn to the Damsel in Distress

damsel-in-distress

So many movies are the same. The lovely young maiden is trapped by the evil wretched villain. Her only hope, a knight in shining armor who swoops in to vanquish his opponent, free his lady love, sweep her up into his arms and ride off with her clutching him as the sun sets and the credits roll. But it isn’t just Hollywood that’s obsessed with the damsel in distress, guys fall for this female character, too. Many women, particularly in the West who are independent and can take care of themselves, hate this stereotypical heroine, and Hollywood and other media sources have heard and adjusted. This phenomenon still hangs on. So why are guys drawn to the damsel in distress? Mostly it’s because it makes him feel manly to be able to swoop in and save her. It makes him feel wanted, needed, important, a hero. It also makes her look feminine to him. Men throughout the ages have been traditionally the protectors and providers. Women, whether the modern feminist minded want to admit it or not, are also attracted to men who can make them feel safe and secure. Helping boosts a man’s ego. But saving a woman whom he also finds irresistible, that is a recipe for a man in love. Another thing, it’s easy to approach this woman. She needs help and he can provide it. It puts him at a superior standing.

This feeling of being a man, of doing manly things and becoming secured in one’s manliness helps to build the male ego. When he feels important, wanted, needed, and essential it feeds his ego, makes him feel manly and gives him a sense of pride that he is doing something good for a woman who deserves his services. The trick is to be a damsel in distress and at the same time not to be needy. This is easier said than done. Guys do want a woman to be independent. He wants her generally to have her own friends, career and passions in life. But he doesn’t want to feel as though she doesn’t need him at all. If you want to get closer to him but still maintain your independence, simply ask for his help in something. It could be a little matter. To fix something, ask for help in using a technical piece of equipment for instance if you are both working in the office together. The copier is always a source of consternation for any office worker. If there isn’t anything mechanical or technical around, ask for his advice or opinion on something. Thank him later on and let him know how much he helped. Once you’ve primed his ego in this manner he’s bound to warm to you. Remember not to use this all the time if you happen to be dating a guy or else you may come off as needy. But a little request for help now and then can pique his interest in you and let him know he’s needed and desired. For more tips on how to attract a man, read the advice of Ellen Dugan in her book, How To Enchant A Man: Spells to Bewitch, Bedazzle & Beguile.