Do Men Avoid Dating Successful Women?

SUCCESS-WOMAN

Do Men Avoid Dating Successful Women?

For the first time in American history, women are surpassing men in bachelor’s and master’s degrees. Single, professional women are one of the fastest growing demographics in the country. Though they still do not make what a man does for the same job in many places, in some urban areas professional women’s salaries are outpacing men. What’s more, over half of all households will see a female breadwinner by 2025. That is amazing progress in a very short period of time, though the feminist movement has its roots a long way back in American history. Some women however say their success in the scholarly and economic realms is having negative consequences on their dating life. There are professional women who say the men they date are intimidated. They either pull away or blow them off due to a discomfort with the woman’s success. Perhaps these men find it emasculating, it is thought. Lots of these women’s girlfriends today console them by saying so, at least. There is even a school of thought that says a woman should dumb herself down in a man’s presence in order to make him feel comfortable and allow the relationship room to grow. But is it true? Do men avoid dating successful women?

Sure there is a segment in the male domain that pine for the 1950s. They believe in traditional values and are put off by women who are independent. But is this the majority of men? Certainly not. Nor is it right to generalize, which in addition to being inaccurate is in a way sexist since it paints all men as antiquated, chauvinists. There are lots of men who appreciate the success, knowledge, skills and other aspects of an accomplished woman. They also want a partner to share interesting times and conversations with, someone with many facets and dimensions, just as women do.  In fact, there are a lot of men who brag about the accomplishments of their wives and girlfriends. There is too a growing segment of stay-at-home dads and lots who enjoy it. So what’s really going on here? Their selection process could be an issue. What kind of men is this person seeking? What qualities do they all hold in common? Are they chauvinists, traditional or perhaps they fear commitment? The woman herself may also be subconsciously sabotaging her chances at love due to some deep-seeded trauma. Another aspect, it might be the woman’s personality itself. Pushiness, vanity, decisiveness, being opinionated and other aggressive behaviors propel some forward in their career. But on the dating scene these qualities are a huge turnoff.

In terms of selection process, lots of women say they want a man who is just as accomplished or more. But then are they selecting someone who is also decisive, aggressive and opinionated? When two people share such personalities the relationship quickly becomes an arena of locking horns rather than a relaxing atmosphere where love and romance can flourish. Only selecting this type, a person who fits a checklist of certain career accomplishments also shows underlying issues. This person worries of what others think or has a need to project their value. One’s relationship can be seen as a reflection of one’s self. But why don’t they explore other sides of their personality? We don’t have to date someone we view as a colleague. Looking for someone to love is not the same as a job interview. So someone who is opinionated may enjoy hanging out with someone who is open-minded, shy, artistic and free spirited. This may nourish other aspects that are suppressed in their normal, workaday environment. A professional woman may be interested in someone who is accomplished but in a totally different field or way. Lastly, sometimes this attitude that no men are good is an armor to protect from the fear that they themselves are at fault, or doing something wrong. Each person brings problems into a relationship, big and small. No one is perfect. We are all human. But it is in examining our mistakes and our own flaws that we can grow and develop and become better. There’s an old Buddhist saying; when the disciple is ready the master will appear. When the heart is ready, love will be there. For more savvy ways to navigate your love life read, Love Smart: Find the One You Want–Fix the One You Got by Dr. Phil McGraw.

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

attraction

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

Guys are traditionally the pursuers, and even though we live in an enlightened society most women still prefer it that way. But lots of guys wonder what kind of man women are attracted to, and how to bring the best qualities out in themselves. Women tend to vary greatly in tastes. Lucky for most poor dolts who have hardly a clue, science has stepped in to try and answer the dizzying, age-old question of what kind of guy women want. Here are some of the things science has uncovered. If you’re flying without your wingman, you may find yourself cruising over lonesomeville for quite some time. For one thing, women rate men more attractive in group photos rather than when by themselves, at least according to a study out of the University of San Diego. Therefore, it stands to reason you look better when someone’s there with you. Researchers say this is due to something called the “cheerleader effect.” People look more attractive with their faces together, since incongruities in any one person are sort of evened out by the whole group. Another thing, women like men who know how to work a room. If you are always with an entourage and you’re the life of the party, or at least she thinks you are, you look high status and someone fun to be around.

Are you a single dad? Be sure to take your baby out cruising. Just keep it during daytime hours. Not only will you get father of the year, you might score a few phone numbers. A study in France found that men who cooed, smiled at and talked to infants were 40% more likely to score a woman’s phone number than those who ignored a baby. Researchers say it shows a greater propensity for being a good dad, should the couple have offspring. Some guys shave every day. Others sport a righteous beard. But why not shave every ten days? According to Australian researchers, men who did so were seen as the most attractive. This layer of stubble is thought to project just the right level of masculinity. Here’s some simple advice. Get some nice wheels and you’ll turn heads. If you can’t afford it, borrow some. A British study found that the same dude in a Bentley Continental was found way more attractive than one in a Ford Fiesta, even with the same clothes and facial expressions. Status is the reason, and the projection of resources which he may be willing to share with a certain, special lady.

If you’re an animal lover, taking your dog for a walk may not just be a necessity, but a way to meet someone. A French study found that women were three times more likely to give up their digits to a man walking his dog versus one who approached alone. Dogs break the ice. They also project kindness, sensitivity and thoughtfulness, all qualities women find appealing. Got a little extra time? Why not volunteer? A Cornell study found that women who knew a man volunteered found him a better candidate for dating and a long-term relationship, due to the fact that he was more selfless and compassionate. If you really want to get a woman to fall for you, make her laugh. A University of New Mexico study found that those guys who could make a sharp witted quip and make a woman laugh were more likely to have short-term, uncommitted sex than their straight-laced counterparts. These quick bursts reveal creativity and intellect, two qualities women greatly desire.

Lastly, if you want to get more hits on your dating profile, include the words “creative,” “ambitious,” and “laugh.” Dating sight Zoosk did a survey and found profiles that had these words got 33% more messages. Include words like “read” or “book” or exercise words like jogging, lifting weights and the like also increased message frequency. Be sure to take it slow. Mention “drinks” or “dinner” too quickly and your response rate will plummet 35%. So this advice improves your hit rate. But what about quality control? Read, How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back by Henry Cloud, and you’ll have that covered too.

How to be a Little Sexier to the Ladies

Couple laughing

How to be a Little Sexier to the Ladies

Whether you are always given the “I see you as just a friend” talk, you’re going through a dry spell or you just want to keep your game nice and sharp, there are simple, easy, practical ways to become more of a ladies man without putting a huge dent in your wallet or sacrificing your true identity. Here are a few suggestions that, while they may not make you irresistible to women, will give you a little bump in the hot department. Here’s how to be a little sexier to the ladies. A study out of Penn State University in Harrisburg found that men who sounded more confident were more attractive. According to the study’s co-author from Albright College, Susan Hughes, PhD, in the days of our Stone Age ancestors women were attracted to the one who could protect and provide for her and their offspring.

Study co-author Melissa Harrison PhD said, “Women are born with a finite number of eggs, thus limited reproductive opportunities.” Personality traits such as intelligence and confidence were highly prized then as they are now by women. That’s great, but how do you use this knowledge to your advantage? Speak a little bit louder and higher than you normally do says Hughes. Other studies have shown that the number one quality women find attractive is a sense of humor. Work on your jokes, timing and delivery. A quick witty statement put in the right place may make her look at you the right way. It was found that women equate humor and wittiness with intelligence, although in the medical, neurological sense they aren’t the same. They don’t inhabit the same part of the brain.

Take a look at your wardrobe. How many red clothes do you have? If you want to be sexier, wear a red shirt says a University of Rochester study from 2010. Standing against a red backdrop works, too. This color signals sexual excitement universally in all humans. Eroticism and passion are often fanned by the color red in imagery. There’s the red light district. It’s even the color of Valentine’s Day. To shave or not to shave, that is the question. Don’t shave. In fact, grow some heavy stubble. At least that’s what an Australian study found in 2012. Men with heavy stubble were found more attractive than those with a five o’clock shadow or were clean shaven. Researchers believe it’s because men with hairier faces are thought to be good fathers and are more masculine.

Smile when you meet her, when you are working a room, but not in photos. Women prefer a dark, brooding profile picture according to a Canadian study. Men who smiled in photos were thought to be less masculine. They were less dominant and more feminine. German and British researchers found that in real life, slow down your smile. A slow smile was associated with being flirty, trustworthy and authentic. Tilting your head forward can intensify this technique’s effect, the same research states. For more tips on how to successfully navigate the difficult waters of the feminine sex read, 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women & How To Avoid Them (The Wing Girl Method) by Marni Kinrys.

The Key to Career Success and a Happy Marriage is in your Spouse’s Personality

HAPPY-HUSBAND-AND-WIFE

The Key to Career Success and a Happy Marriage is in your Spouse’s Personality

Most of the time when we think of someone who is successful, it’s usually the individual we focus on. But in reality when it comes to status, promotions and compensation, psychologists find that a person’s spouse has a lot to do with it, according to a new study published in the journal Psychological Science. Researchers at the Washington University in St. Louis recruited 5,000 married people ages 19 to 89. 75% of participants were in a marriage where both spouses worked. This study was conducted over a span of five years. Participants were given a series of psychological tests measuring different personality traits. These included extraversion, openness, neuroticism, agreeableness and conscientiousness. Annual surveys measuring occupational success were also conducted, tracking participant’s job performance. Those who had the most occupational success were more likely to have a spouse who had a high level of conscientiousness, researchers found. This was true no matter the participant’s gender. Psychologists Joshua Jackson and Brittany Solomon were the authors of this study. Jackson said, “Our study shows that it is not only your own personality that influences the experiences that lead to greater occupational success, but that your spouse’s personality matters too.”

Other studies have shown most people tend to gravitate toward partners who have a low level of neuroticism and high levels of agreeableness. However Jackson notes, “Our findings suggest that people should also desire highly conscientious partners.” Why does a conscientious partner lead to career success? Jackson and Solomon examined how this trait related to relationship satisfaction, emulation and outsourcing—here meant as helping one’s partner out with chores or errands when life gets in the way. Having a conscientious partner means that you can delegate tasks to them when you have something serious going on at work. This one trait is associated with earning a higher salary, and more work-related success. Though the study is remarkable, and it may show why certain people attain success, it isn’t the final word in producing a happy marriage. Professor Deborah Carr, in the Department of Sociology at Rutgers University, conducted a study which found that in terms of a happy marriage, a wife’s contentment was what was most important. The Rutgers professor found that the happier a wife was with her marriage, the more satisfied the husband felt. Carr said, “I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life. Men tend to be less vocal about their relationships and their level of marital unhappiness might not be translated to their wives.”

Professor at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, Vicki Freedman along with Carr at Rutgers co-authored another study on happiness and marital satisfaction, this time in older adults. This research was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family. In that study, it was revealed how the media portrays those who attain success, in particular men. In these instances, their success is often shown to be due to personality traits such as grit, charisma, intellect and more. But these leadership traits are not the end all, be all of success. Research has shown that highly successful people owe their spouse a lot of gratitude. But rugged American individualism propagates the myth, while in reality an important component may be a strong, intelligent, encouraging, conscientious spouse helping their partner that allows the person to succeed. If you need some tips on making your marriage happy, and hopefully help you become successful, if you aren’t already, pick up a copy of, Marriage: Marriage Success Guide with Advice for Newlyweds on How to Have a Happy Marriage, a Successful Marriage and a Loving Marriage by John McQuilkin.

How your Mouth Decides if she’s Interested

how-to-talk-to-women

How your Mouth Decides if she’s Interested

You see her across the way. She checked you out subtly. Now she’s smiled at you and given you those come hither eyes. What you say next will either make or break your chances. What should you say? What shouldn’t you say? When should you keep your mouth shut and what should you offer up? How your mouth operates, that is what you say next will decide if she is interested in getting to know you better or more interested in turning her back on you. Here are some ways to make sure that when you approach you are confident, ready and have the where with all to survive but also the best shot at getting to the next level. First, practice what Germany’s University of Gottingen Professor Benjamin P. Lange, Ph.D calls “verbal fluency.” Use large words, complex and long sentence structures, and let her know how smart you are. It will let her know not only that you are well educated but have a high earning potential, even if your salary isn’t there yet. Speak confidently, don’t offer long pauses, and soon she’ll be calling you her “sexy professor.” You may think flashing those pearly whites will win her heart, but in fact suppress those smiles. A recent study published in the journal Emotion found that smiling often was a sign of being timid and feminine. You don’t have to be a straight-faced tough guy. But don’t walk around with a perma-smile either.

The U.K.’s Northumbria University unlocked the secret, the number one trait women are interested in, in men. That trait is a sense of humor. A perfectly positioned joke may wiggle your way into her heart. A sense of humor according to researchers is interpreted by women as a sign of honesty and intelligence. Make sure these are positive jokes however, jokes that are inclusive. Put-downs or negative jabs may turn her sour on you. Instead go for witty, fun, light-hearted material and she’ll fall for you. It may sound like a no-no but interrupting her, just to exclaim in agreement, at the end of her sentence to let her know you feel the same can build rapport rather than blockade it. Say, “Wow I feel the same way!” And later on “We have so much in common.” This shows what a good match you two are. Though men generally allow each other to finish sentences, women often interrupt one another when conversing. Don’t ever cut in to change the subject, only to agree with her. Now when you go in for the first kiss, make it the best one you’ve ever planted on anyone. A study out of the University of Albany shows that messing up the first smooch means you can kiss that relationship goodbye. Be assertive, use little or no tongue, and watch your breathing. According to this research these three elements are essential to producing a magical, stop-the-world-from-spinning kiss. For more on talking to and interacting with women in the best way possible, read Talking to Women Made Easy by Dave 4syth.