How Beautiful Women Mess with your Head Biologically

beautiful-woman

According to new research out of Canada when a man talks to a beautiful woman the conversation is shorter by 3.5 minutes on average, and he remembers more details from the conversation. Doctoral researcher at Toronto’s Rotman School of Management and the study’s coauthor Ping Dong says that when a woman is beautiful a man seems to make more of an effort, listens more carefully and watches what he says more carefully in order to make a good impression. Since the brain is more active time seems to go by sooner. But speeding up time isn’t the only way beautiful women mess with your head on a biological level. They also confuse fiction and reality. According to research out of Texas Christian University the more you lie to impress your beauty the more difficulty you will have separating fact from fiction weeks later. That’s because according to researchers the brain accepts these lies as truths. Honesty is the best policy guys. You may not be able to remember what mistruth you told her but she will definitely remember.

Women who are easy on the eyes also make men lose patience. Research out of the National Bureau of Economic Research in conjunction with McMaster University found that hot, sexy and beautiful women fire up the reward centers in the brain, making men forgo a payout in the future for instant gratification. Their research found that men accepted poor terms on mortgages more readily if the commercial advertising the loan features an attractive woman. They also opted for a short-term payout rather than a richer one down the road after they looked at ladies that had what we call sex appeal. Beautiful women bring out your inner hero. According to a U.K. study men were more likely to act generously and donate to the poor when a gorgeous woman was present. According to the authors men are more likely to be philanthropic when good looking women are watching, which women find attractive. New research out of the University of Texas found that nothing gives you a high like a beautiful woman. After observing photos of gorgeous gals with hourglass figures, men felt a high that felt as if it was drug induced. The waist-to-hip ratio sends signals to men that this is a good candidate for reproduction. Researchers say the result is a powerful jolt to the pleasure centers of the brain. For advice on how to approach attractive women, read How to “Pick Up” Beautiful Women in Nightclubs or Any Other Place by John Eagan.

These Cheesy Pickup Lines May Work

FLIRTING

One liners in the female world aren’t held in a very high regard. According to relationship expert Terri Orbuch, Ph.D. they are considered, “degrading, sexual, sexist, or just too forward”. But that doesn’t mean you can’t own it, and make it work for you. If you learn to own the cheese you could come off as witty and charming rather than pathetic and uninteresting. These cheesy pickup lines may work in the beginning, leading to a rapport with someone of the female persuasion. “I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” [No.] “Well then, please start.” According to sociologist and relationship expert Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. this is an approach that is female friendly and nonthreatening. It lets her know that you want to talk to her, get to know her and not just take her clothes off.  Do be patient and wait until there’s a good, long pause in her conversation or else she’ll just be upset that you interrupted her. “Hello, I’m doing a survey of what people think are the worst pickup lines. So, do you think it’s: ‘Do you come here often?’, ‘What’s your sign?’, or ‘Hello, I’m doing a survey of what people think are the worst pickup lines.’?” Here you let her know that you are in on the joke. Remember the number one attractive quality in a guy is a sense of humor according to recent studies. You may even put her at ease since there is no pressure being put on her in this situation. She may be more likely to even open up to you.

“You know, Dr. Phil says I’m afraid of commitment. Want to help prove him wrong?”  This is cute and funny. Truth be told most women are relationship minded. And this approach may set you apart from other jerks she’s dated in the past. “I bet you $20 you’re going to turn me down.”  There are lots of guys who overestimate their attractiveness to the ladies, which lots of girls are turned off about. This approach puts them on their head, since the jokes on you. This could make you look grounded. Unless she’s a monster, she’ll probably give you a shot, or at least talk to you and find out more about you. Either way not a bad in. “How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl here?” This lets her know that you picked her over every other woman there, a great compliment. Also according to relationship expert Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., “You can never tell a woman often enough that she’s beautiful.” If you are more into comic books than romance try this one, “Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I’ll be your man.” Lots of women have rescue fantasies, you’ve tapped into hers hopefully with a light, comical twist. “Besides being gorgeous, what do you do for a living?” This one has a lot of upsides. It shows you think she’s beautiful, it shows that you are interested in getting to know more about her and it’s even a little humorous. This one will definitely be getting the conversation started. To gain more tips like these pick up a copy of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship by Terri Orbuch, Ph.D.

When Self-esteem Issues Obstruct Relationships

M

Confidence and self-esteem are seen by many as the most attractive qualities in a mate. Surely no one will be interested in you if you’re not even interested in yourself. We all have a certain level of self-doubt. But when it is overwhelming it can make you second-guess someone’s interest or intentions, reject them for fear that their interest isn’t legitimate, or even stop you from pursuing someone for fear that they will never like you. So what do you do when self-esteem issues obstruct your romantic relationships? The first thing to know is that self-esteem is something that you learned. If you have a low self-image, it’s because you’ve learned to feel this way. So the fact is that it isn’t a permanent situation. It can therefore be unlearned, or supplanted with a more positive self-image. Whenever you feel that negative voice inside your head saying negative things to you, put it on pause and replace it with a positive one. Make a list of all your positive qualities and reflect upon them. Talk to friends and ask what they like about you.

When you feel that you are focusing too much on one of your shortcomings, don’t just dwell on it. Make a plan to improve or counteract it. If you don’t like how you look for instance, buy some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. Spend a day at the spa or get a gym membership. If you don’t find yourself very interesting, start reading more. Travel. Find out what you are passionate about and explore your passions further. Decide what direction your life should take and start making plans. Will you go back to school, take a second job to save for a trip to Europe, pick up a musical instrument, learn a foreign language or take up a sport you used to enjoy but stopped playing? Success in pursuits can also raise self-esteem. Develop your positive attributes as well. If people think you are funny, kind, dependable, considerate, conscientious and the like, why not accentuate or develop your skills further? If you have a certain hero or mentor you like, focus on the traits that they have and borrow those traits. Develop the hero inside of you. Picture a superior or heroic vision of yourself and start to develop yourself into that person. Soon you’ll be feeling comfortable in your own skin, and all kinds of dating possibilities will surface. To explore this topic further, read the book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem: The Definitive Work on Self-Esteem by the Leading Pioneer in the Field by Nathaniel Branden.

Guys Are Drawn to the Damsel in Distress

damsel-in-distress

So many movies are the same. The lovely young maiden is trapped by the evil wretched villain. Her only hope, a knight in shining armor who swoops in to vanquish his opponent, free his lady love, sweep her up into his arms and ride off with her clutching him as the sun sets and the credits roll. But it isn’t just Hollywood that’s obsessed with the damsel in distress, guys fall for this female character, too. Many women, particularly in the West who are independent and can take care of themselves, hate this stereotypical heroine, and Hollywood and other media sources have heard and adjusted. This phenomenon still hangs on. So why are guys drawn to the damsel in distress? Mostly it’s because it makes him feel manly to be able to swoop in and save her. It makes him feel wanted, needed, important, a hero. It also makes her look feminine to him. Men throughout the ages have been traditionally the protectors and providers. Women, whether the modern feminist minded want to admit it or not, are also attracted to men who can make them feel safe and secure. Helping boosts a man’s ego. But saving a woman whom he also finds irresistible, that is a recipe for a man in love. Another thing, it’s easy to approach this woman. She needs help and he can provide it. It puts him at a superior standing.

This feeling of being a man, of doing manly things and becoming secured in one’s manliness helps to build the male ego. When he feels important, wanted, needed, and essential it feeds his ego, makes him feel manly and gives him a sense of pride that he is doing something good for a woman who deserves his services. The trick is to be a damsel in distress and at the same time not to be needy. This is easier said than done. Guys do want a woman to be independent. He wants her generally to have her own friends, career and passions in life. But he doesn’t want to feel as though she doesn’t need him at all. If you want to get closer to him but still maintain your independence, simply ask for his help in something. It could be a little matter. To fix something, ask for help in using a technical piece of equipment for instance if you are both working in the office together. The copier is always a source of consternation for any office worker. If there isn’t anything mechanical or technical around, ask for his advice or opinion on something. Thank him later on and let him know how much he helped. Once you’ve primed his ego in this manner he’s bound to warm to you. Remember not to use this all the time if you happen to be dating a guy or else you may come off as needy. But a little request for help now and then can pique his interest in you and let him know he’s needed and desired. For more tips on how to attract a man, read the advice of Ellen Dugan in her book, How To Enchant A Man: Spells to Bewitch, Bedazzle & Beguile.