There are lots of women who want to get married but stay in relationships where it isn’t abundantly clear where things are headed. So they avoid the subject at all costs. They wonder whether or not he wants the relationship to progress. Lots of young women think that when the moment is right, true love barges in, sweeps you up and carries you off. Many women pine for that day, wishing and waiting, but never think that in real life, it doesn’t always work like that. An awkward conversation with your partner as to whether or not he wants the same kind of relationship is usually how it goes. Those who want marriage the most are often the most reluctant to address the issue, for fear of rejection. It may even cause the relationship to implode. But if one person wants one thing, and another person wants something else, the relationship cannot last. Hanging on to a relationship that is doomed isn’t doing anyone any favors. Here are some other considerations for those who find themselves in this position.
You may be so invested that leaving is not a palatable option. Lots of women become preoccupied with how much work they’ve already put into the relationship, and where they are in terms of their child bearing years, but if you aren’t carefully considering whether or not this person has long-term potential, or even wants what you want, you are missing the point entirely. Some people fall into a groove. They get comfortable. It is usually a slow creep. Suddenly the two are cohabitating and in a routine. Though the situation does not fulfill her deeply, the woman usually becomes averse to breaking out of it. If he moves out for instance, she’ll have to find a roommate, and bear the brunt of the cost herself, until she finds one.
These decisions are not made easily. But settling for something you don’t want will leave a void. That hollow will grow and ultimately tear the relationship apart. Either that or you will live unfulfilled, numb, a lovelorn sleepwalker. If it does fall to pieces, you’ll wonder why you spent so much time with him to begin with, and all of that time wasted when you should have been looking for someone that fulfills you, and wants the same things you do. Realize that people change their minds. But if you can’t talk about the future with someone, or they have promised you some movement in the past and failed to deliver, then this person is not for you. They don’t have the same goals as you. If you want the right future you may have to sacrifice the present to get to it. Though it hurts in the beginning it is satisfying in the end. For more advice read, The List: 7 Ways to Tell If He’s Going to Marry You – In 30 Days or Less! By Mary Corbett & Sheila Corbett Kihne.