Ways not to Address Weight Loss with your Partner

dieting-while-dating

Ways not to Address Weight Loss with your Partner

Lots of couples, especially cohabitating or married partners who are very comfortable with one another, have one person who needs to address the weight issues of another. It isn’t merely superficial, although your lover is a reflection of you. It isn’t generally meant to be mean or inconsiderate. It’s because being overweight is bad for your health and they care about their partner. That said, these people often go about it in the wrong manner. So instead of changing their partner’s behavior, perhaps the partner consumes more or takes part in even more unhealthful behavior, like smoking or drinking more due to relationship related stress.

You don’t need some master deception, you don’t need to start writing them checks or doing them favors, and pleading or giving ultimatums are all unlikely to change your partner’s eating habits, exercise regimen and overall health consciousness. Here are some likely scenarios to avoid when addressing weight loss and better ways to do it instead. First, don’t flat out say that they look heavier or have been gaining weight. Instead, start to think about or notice what the cause might be for sudden weight gain. Do they have a thyroid issue? Or is it due to emotional eating, like eating to relieve stress for instance?

Instead of shutting them down with “You’ve gained a lot of weight” ask “Are you okay? Is there something you want to talk about?” Studies have shown that open communication about a problem has curbed emotional eating. When you approach a partner like this it becomes okay to talk about and the problem may in fact be solved. Don’t tell your partner what not to eat. If you see them reaching for the chips instead of a piece of fruit, your statement will feel as though you are judging them. They’ll feel bad about it and it will cause resentment in the relationship. Couples have been known to stop being intimate, stop talking to one another and even split up or get divorced simply due to one person’s monitoring of the other’s diet. Instead of making this kind of statement, why not introduce your lover to healthful alternatives? Salsa and hummus for instance are much healthier than cheese dip or spinach dip. Fruit and vegetables can be made ready to eat in the house. Put out a fruit bowl. Wash and prepare healthy snacks and put them in the fridge. If you introduce your significant other to a healthy alternative, they will likely go for that instead.

In the end, it’s important to love and be there for your partner. Don’t be there parent or cop, be there by their side. Offer them support, caring, nurturing and encouragement. Offer solutions, requests and alternatives instead of demands and you’ll see a whole new partner, trim and healthy, and ready to thank you. For more relationship advice read, Reboot Your Relationship: Restoring Love through Real Communication in a Disconnected World by Joe Whitcomb and Savannah Ellis.

Doing a Picnic Date Right

Picnic-basket

Doing a Picnic Date Right

What could be more heavenly than sharing delicious meal in a beautiful bucolic setting? But some takeout and your stadium blanket isn’t going to cut the mustard. If your desire is to impress, do a picnic date right. Here’s how. First, pick out a prime location, the more scenic the better. If you don’t know any in your area, do some research. Contact local, state and national parks in your area. Consider beaches or lakeside areas. Is there a lookout point or a waterfall nearby? Do some gumshoeing. An awe inspiring location is an easy way to look savvy to your date and get the romantic juices moving. Although it does look nice standing next to the blanket a basket is not necessary. You can do just as well with a canvas bag or a cooler. If you want the basket as a nostalgic touch but don’t know where to find one try epicnicbasket.com. Select a blanket big enough for the two of you and your spread comfortably. A waterproof blanket is definitely a plus. Ask friends, family members or neighbors if you can borrow one. Or if you want one of your own check out ourcornermarket.com, they have some nice ones.

Paper plates are convenient, but don’t convey the overall ambience you’re going for. Try bamboo plates. They are reusable, stylish and eco-friendly. You can get eight plates for under eight dollars at cooking.com. Get decent looking plastic wine glasses. Or try acrylic glasses if you really want to be fancy. Bring some wine. How about some lemonade or fresh brewed ice tea? For an added zing brew the tea with some mint. Pack a game to play, a Frisbee or some other fun little activity to share. Make sure to pack delectable items that travel well. You don’t want to hand your sweetie a limp, soggy sandwich after making sure all of the accoutrements were top notch. Make sure to know your date’s dietary particulars. What do they eat and what don’t they eat? Ask them what they really love and try to incorporate it. Try not to make any lettuce based salads as the leaves will be flabby by the time you get to them. Potato salad is a perennial favorite. Or things with crisp vegetables. Bring a portable radio and get some mood music going. Have a few conversation topics or funny little anecdotes to spring on the way up there or whilst sunning yourself on the blanket lest there be a gap in the conversation. Stargazing is nice. Why not offer a nice foot rub or a back massage? A picnic done right can bring you to a whole new level in dating. For other date options, read Fun Date Ideas: Discover Romantic, Inexpensive and Interesting Date Ideas for First Dates, Anniversaries, Valentines and Much More by M.D. Chuka.

Great Food Related Dates

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Great Food Related Dates

Tired of the same old boring dinner date? There are plenty of other options for the creative, discerning foodie. Since you are bold, you have sophisticated tastes and you don’t want to settle for the same kind of date your parents went on, here are some great food related dates that are more your style. Of course the local food and farm to table movement have been making some headway across the country. But why stop at the table? Go right to the farm! Pick-your-own is an original and imaginative date. No matter your location, there’s bound to be a farm near where you live. If you and your date are rugged, outdoorsy types, love fresh organic produce or you just want to get closer to the earth and to nature, why not go on a pick-your-own date with the apple of your eye? You can even have a follow up date where you make a delicious gourmet meal together. And while you are there, bring along a lunch, a blanket and some wine and have a picnic. Of course this date does very much depend on the season and weather. So have a backup plan if it does seem to be raining that day, and a pick-your-own proves no fun.

A farmer’s market is another good date idea for two gourmets in a budding courtship. Some of them are like county fairs, stretching on and on forever. Others are smaller and more modest. Do some research on the ones in your area so you are familiar with what is there, if it’s worth your time and the general layout. You can also people watch and try lots of free samples. There’s sure to be country vittles afoot. But you don’t have to stay there for the evening meal. Use Yelp or some other service to find a restaurant in the area that is right for you. A picnic might be in order here as well. Why not take your sweetie to a dessert bar to luxuriate together in a delectable paradise? There are now dessert themed restaurants popping up all over the country, from Dallas’s Chocolate Secrets to Phillie’s Dessert Café. If you are into the vino and your date is too, why not try an upscale wine tasting? What could be more romantic? Beer tasting at a craft brewery is great for two beer connoisseurs who want to get to know each other better. Take your baby out for some baby back ribs at a food festival. Try a tea shop if you want to impress them and know that they are really into tea. Or put on some comfortable shoes and take a walking tour of the local restaurants. There are plenty of gastronomic oriented ideas to keep you two entertained for months. For more fun date ideas, read Little Book of Great Dates by Dr. Greg & Erin Smalley.

What to Know about Dating a Jamaican Man

jamaican man

Whether you know a Jamaican man in your own country, or you are on vacation and are interested in dating a Jamaican man, the culture is a bit different than that of the U.S. The stereotype is that Jamaican men are controlling, womanizing, and disrespectful of women. The truth is they are like any other group of people. Some Jamaican men don’t treat their women well. Others treat them like queens. We cannot stereotype or generalize, but the culture can be a little bit different. Study the culture if you are seriously interested in someone of the Jamaican persuasion. Here are some things to get you started. If you are going out for a date, or hanging at home, realize that they don’t have the same fast food culture that we in the U.S. do. In fact, Jamaicans eat lots of fresh food prepared at home. Fast food may be okay once in a while, but of course it isn’t healthy so he won’t appreciate eating it all the time. So instead, why not prepare something at home, go to a healthier restaurant, or perhaps ask him to make one of his favorite dishes? And what makes a better date than cooking together? Jamaicans are said to have a number of jobs at one time. The truth is that Jamaicans have a strong work ethic. So don’t be afraid to ask him what he does. It will probably make for interesting conversation.

Jamaicans are very family oriented. In American society, being taken to meet a man’s family means that he’s serious about you. In Jamaican culture, not so much. Very often someone in the family is throwing a party. If they are aware of you they will invite you. But that doesn’t mean, should he be seeing someone else, that he won’t bring her to the next family party. So don’t take an invite or a point where you meet his family as too big of a sign. Also, Jamaican men often take what their mothers say to heart. Understand that her opinion in his life in general, and of you specifically, may carry more weight than an American man’s. If you are a bit prudish, dating a Jamaican may not be for you. In American culture, talking about sex is done behind closed doors, never in front of the family. In Jamaican culture the attitude about sex is much more laid back, and may even be discussed in front of the family. Understand this and don’t be too embarrassed if you find yourself in the middle of some awkward, funny, and interesting conversations. Machismo and masculinity is very essential to the Jamaican lifestyle. If you have any gay friends, realize that your Jamaican interest may be homophobic. Talk to him about it before you bring your gay friends around. Lastly, Jamaican men are thought to be smooth. Don’t get too caught up in his accent or the way he can put sentences together to charm and sway you. You can learn more about dating Jamaican men through the advice of Empress Yuajah in her book, How to Date a Jamaican Man: How to Love and Understand a Jamaican Man.