Do Guys Care what you wear on a Date?

outfit

Do Guys Care what you wear on a Date?

Almost anyone who has known a single woman about to go out on a date knows there is often no end to her fashion indecision. The bed will be covered with clothes, the ceiling fan and the closet door with hangers and still she has nothing to wear. Is this too girly? Too demure? Too playful? Too racy? What outfit will send the right message? What will make her look sophisticated, attractive and drop dead gorgeous? But any woman that’s asked a man what she should wear or how she looks knows that it is, more often than not, a complete waste of time.

Generally they have no idea and, even though they care about her and her problem, they really aren’t interested in the outfit unless it’s to cater to his needs. But if men don’t care what a woman wears, within reason, do guys care what you wear on a date? Match.com recently did a survey on this very topic. 76% of over 2,000 male respondents polled didn’t care what a woman wore. A skirt or pants? The choice didn’t faze them. Either one was fine. Instead, wear the outfit that is right for you.

Make sure you pick something that fits the venue you are going to or the social occasion. Also realize how revealing the clothes you pick are and what message that sends. There are certainly skirts that are risqué while others are plain and prudent. Tight pants with a low waist are sexy but also suggestive. To men generally, the outfit isn’t so important. As long as she looks great and fits in to the activity, situation or place. If it’s a first date, you may want to pick something that really accentuates your personality. Don’t wear something more professional if you are a free spirit. Send out your hippie vibe and see if he responds. If you are more the uptight type, don’t dress down to prove that you can be fun and relaxed. This isn’t you. And you’ll have more trouble later keeping up appearances.

It’s important to be yourself and project who you are so that the person can recognize that and see if that is what they are attracted to. If you aren’t yourself you are doing your date and yourself a great disservice. Lastly, realize that the guy is just as nervous about his outfit as you are about yours. He may not have all the fashion nuances but if he’s any type of man he will want to fit the environment, but also impress you too. “You look great” isn’t only for women. Let him know if he did a good job, even if his shirt doesn’t match his shoes. For more advice read, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes: The Building of A Confident Woman- Confidence Workbook- Dating Advice for Women by Gregg Michaelsen.

First Date Questions to Be Prepared for

FIRST-DATE

First Date Questions to Be Prepared for

Are you going on a first date soon? The first date, as with a first impression, sets the tone for how you two will interact with each other. And this is the first crucial step to see if there is a mutual interest. They can be so scary and exciting, the butterflies, not knowing what to wear, how you should act and if you will feel the magic are all questions on your mind. Speaking of questions, it’s important to be prepared for what your date is most likely to ask you and how to respond. A first date is kind of like a job interview for love. You are seeing if they are the right fit for you and visa-versa. Of course you should be truthful in all of your answers. But you should be prepared for what they might ask you. You don’t want to be dumbfounded, fumble or be taken aback. Here are a few first date questions to be prepared for.

First, be prepared to talk about your career. If you aren’t working or you are in college, talk about what you’re passionate about. And let your interest shine through. People are attracted to others who share similar goals, passions and interests in life. And if you can let them see you radiate with what your passionate about it may deepen their interest in you, and spark a return of that same energy when they talk about what they’re interested in.

Whatever is asked, don’t take yourself too seriously. Keep everything light and positive. No one wants to hear a lot of complaining on a first date. Not that you have to steer clear of all negative subjects. But don’t dwell on them, and put a positive spin on it at the end. Be ready to talk about your achievement s, background and goals in life. Ask your date about theirs as well. People who are deeply spiritual or religious will ask about your own beliefs or faith. Try to find out as much as you can about their beliefs and faith beforehand and prepare your answers to be truthful. But make sure you are always respectful and interested in what someone else believes. That doesn’t mean you have to believe what they do. A good sign of a relationship’s ability to take root is the ability for a couple to agree to disagree on such matters as politics and religion, if you plan to stray past your own group or groups.

Be prepared to talk about any hobbies you may have. The person is looking for compatibility. These are great for conversations. See what’s in common. Can you see yourself watching movies on the couch with this person? Taking salsa dancing classes or going sky diving together? Prepare yourself for questions about kids, or wanting them. Some people will ask about past relationships. This is usually held to a subsequent date. However, if they feel comfortable or it comes up they may ask. If you or they are divorced it could be more likely to come up. Make sure to put a positive spin on it and don’t bad mouth your ex. Remember to relax and be yourself. Have fun on your first date. For more advice read, The First Date Survival Guide: What to Wear, Where to Go, How to Act by Ryan Magin.

Advice for Dating Over 50

Seniors-Dating

Advice for Dating Over 50

If you are over 50 dating can be a whole different world. Most people are independent at this age, perhaps with adult-age children who are hopefully out of the house by now. These are the divorced empty nesters. They don’t take any guff and know exactly what they are looking for. Today, it’s much easier than in the past because of the internet. But even then sometimes there’s no one that strikes our fancy. A lot of singles in this age group don’t want to be alone but don’t want to feel as though they are settling either. It isn’t easy but a lot of people get in their own way, too. Here is some advice for those dating over 50. First, consider the law of attraction. What you focus on in your life is what you bring into your world. If you are focused on the idea that there are no good men or women left then that is the situation you will dwell in. But if you are secure and happy, entering into each situation in an open-minded and lighthearted way then perhaps the right person will find you. That’s because this newfound positivity will sooner or later attract those who are also secure, open and happy, the exact type most of us would like to date.

Consider how you feel about dating. It often fills 50-somethings with anxiety. Sometimes we just have an unlucky streak. If that’s the case, it’s a good idea to put dating aside and later on try again. When you come back to it in a week or two with fresh eyes, take a look at your meeting and selection process. Consider reworking your dating profile. What does it say about you? Who does it attract? Perhaps freshen it up with a new photo, an anecdote or insight and then ask a friend their opinion on it. A lot of people at this stage are afraid. They’ve lost out in one or more serious relationships. They may be bitter or carrying baggage. Perhaps they feel as though they’ve been through the meat grinder and don’t want to do it again. This idea that there is no one of high enough quality is a projection we use to protect ourselves from certain fears about love, while also protecting our status. Here, it isn’t us that have the problem but the available dating pool. Sooner or later those that say these things start to sound like a broken record. It becomes a battle worn, thin piece of armor other minds can easily pierce. Instead, jettison excuses. Deal with whatever interworking makes you feel negative or reticent. Talk it out with someone and work toward a new perspective on your life and your love life, one that’s positive and edifying.

Dating at this age is not easy. We often run in the same circles. Start to break out. Explore new hobbies or old ones you put aside in the days of yesteryear when the demands of kids and career got in the way. Read articles and books about dating at this age. Attend singles events. Try a different website or app for meeting someone new. Pursue interests that are social through Eventbrite, Meetup, a local civic organization or a charity close to your heart. Network with friends and others to see if they know someone who is single that would be a good match. Those who are friends will have other friends who you might have things in common with. Another thing, don’t so easily cast others aside. Some people make their wants and desires in a mate so extensive that they price themselves out of the market. Everyone is imperfect. But judgment has to be set aside for an exploration of who exactly the other person is. A first date is like an initial interview. Often it tells you little of the person before you. Give it until the third date before you say no for sure. Some of the happiest couples weren’t so hot for each other when they first met. It takes time for anxiety to wane, understanding to grow and love to blossom. For more advice for those of the female persuasion pick up a copy of, The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50: 7 Steps To Attracting Quality Men by Lisa Copeland.

How Much Do You Know About Dating?

Seducing beautiful woman looking at her lover with wine glass.

How Much Do You Know About Dating?

Some people admire love. The human courtship dance is a unique, perplexing and fascinating ritual. There are those who relish the thrill of the chase. While others just marvel at the overwhelming feelings of joy that wash over them when they’ve met that someone special. But how much do you really know about dating and love? Here are some questions. See how many you can answer. First, no matter the sex, what is the biggest turn off or turn on according to both sexes? If you said someone’s teeth, you are right. The dating website Match.com did a study and found that a great smile was the number one physical aspect people looked for, followed closely by good grammar and a full head of gorgeous hair.

How long does the average person wait before hopping between the sheets with their love interest? According to a study by Esquire magazine, the average wait time for becoming intimate is three to five dates. Of course there’s no way to tell the honesty level of respondents. There was a difference in the sexes here; where women wait five dates, men state three to five is what they generally wait. Now that there is more gender equality today, on most dates does the guy still pay, the lady or do they split the bill? 84% of dates are still paid for by men according to one study with 17,000 participants. Lots of women say that they do offer to chip in but secretly they want the man to refuse.

Dating websites have been all the rage for a while now. How many people who meet online actually get married? About a third of online relationships lead to marriage one study says. Interestingly, researchers found that these relationships had lower breakup and divorce rates than couples meeting offline. But continue to be wary, as 50% of those who have dating profiles admit to lying about something in theirs. No-strings-attached, also known as friends-with-benefits relationships are thought to be popular today. How many of these kinds of relationships actually last long term? A survey of 6,000 conducted by Match.com found that 44% of friends with benefits relationships turn into long term relationships. What isn’t clear is whether these are just long term NSA deals or if their relationships develop into something deeper. Who do you think falls in lover faster, women or men? Though women are thought to be the torch bearers of love it’s actually men who fall faster and harder according to an online survey. Men who fall in love often do it in just one date, while it takes women about three to know that they are in love. Who is more likely to look up a date online and via social media sites, men or women? Women are more likely according to a Match.com survey. Over 50% use Facebook to vet their date. For more dating advice read, Modern Love: The Grownup’s Guide to Relationships & Online Dating by Cija Black.

Signs the Date Won’t go well

BAD-DATE

Signs the Date Won’t go well

Everyone gets nervous and excited about a date. It is kind of like a job interview for love. You work so hard to make a good impression, especially on the first date. Some people focus so much on how they are doing that they hardly bother to make out what’s going on from the other side of the table. And by the time they really figure out, it’s too late. They are enwrapped within a bad relationship. Sure you have to look your best and try to say the right things. But also keep careful attention to your date. You don’t want to be one of those people who has to make excuses for your date, or a poor relationship decision. And who wants to waste time with the wrong person? You want to spend you precious time with the right one. There are certain warning signs that a date and a subsequent relationship won’t go well. Have you ever been out with a date and he or she recognizes someone, and they have a very engaged conversation but your date doesn’t even introduce you or acknowledge your presence? This is a terrible sign. A date should be more than happy, even proud to introduce you. If you are cast aside now, during a date when someone is on their best behavior, how will they act when you are in a relationship together?

If you are out on a date with someone and they call you by the wrong name, you should call it quits right from the get-go. This person does not hold you in a high regard. They can’t even remember your name? Was it their ex’s name that slipped out? If so they may still be hung up on them. You don’t want to be in the middle of that. You want someone to treat you in the superlative manner that you deserve. If your date answers their cell phone and doesn’t get off right away, or is engaged in checking their email right in front of you, don’t go on a second date with this person. They will be engrossed in their electronics from here on out, and you will always play second fiddle to them. If everything is going alright so far, but you find the conversation incredibly dull, in fact you are exhausted and don’t know why, then this person just doesn’t flip your switch. There’s no chemistry. Nerves can get in the way of chemistry. But then you shouldn’t be bored. So if you aren’t feeling it with someone, and if nothing is obstructing you from doing so, then it’s time to cut your ties and sail on. Sometimes a date is going great until you somehow touch on a subject that you two are on different sides of, for instance if you are of different religious or political persuasions. How a situation such as this is handled can tell what the future relationship will be like. You won’t always agree. If this person steamrolls over your point of view, or callously attacks it without any regard for your feelings, a follow up date certainly isn’t in order. To find out how to find love and avoid pitfalls along the way read Dating with Pure Passion: More than Rules, More than Courtship, More than a Formula by Rob Eagar.