Divorced Wife Wants Donated Kidney Back

kidney_transplant

Divorced Wife Wants Donated Kidney Back

Samantha Lamb of the U.K. made the ultimate sacrifice for her husband. She went under the knife and donated a kidney to him. He thanked her by asking for a divorce.  Now the 41 year old mother with one child wishes she could get her kidney back and give it to someone who in her eyes is more deserving. Ms. Lamb speaking to a British newspaper stated, “I can’t believe he now has a second chance to live to see his grandchildren grow up. I would definitely go through the operation again – but I wouldn’t give the kidney to him. I hate him. If I could I’d take it back and give it someone else. Obviously I don’t want people to be put off putting their names on the organ donor list. But all I want from him is his name on the divorce papers.” The couple met working together driving ambulances for an ambulance company. Andy, her ex was funny, quick witted and never stopped delivering punchy one-liners. They originally got together in 2004. Then they broke up, but soon after reunited. They were married in 2007.

Of this period Ms. Lamb explains, “We had a nice life, although there were signs that Andy wasn’t what I had hoped for. He was controlling, like not letting me wear perfume every day. But we had a three-bedroom house in a lovely street and I thought we were happy. Then Andy became sick. His kidneys were failing. But he didn’t face up to it. He just got angry. He thought the world was against him and everyone else was to blame. I loved him and wanted him to get better but his moods were awful and he’d take it out on me.” They discussed it. Over time Ms. Lamb convinced Andy to have one of her kidneys. He had children from a previous marriage and wanted to be around for them. The couple even took part in a BBC documentary about organ donation.

It was after the surgery that Andy started acting differently. He was very ill before. But afterward he was flush, strong and healthy. He even shaved for the cameras. Meanwhile, Ms. Lamb was exhausted. Soon he was as testy as ever. He would pick fights with her then disappear for hours. Soon the truth was revealed. “I confronted him about having an affair with my friend Clare. My mum and sister saw him with his arm around her, “said Lamb. “He denied it and stormed out.” Ms. Lamb confronted Clare who admitted the affair. Though she won’t be seeing her organ returned, she got some revenge, “I did what any woman would do. I cut up his clothes, put them in black bin bags and left them outside the house.” To learn more about infidelity and revenge, read the book, Cheated ON and Pissed OFF! 20 Real Stories of Revenge by Simone Summers.

Studies Show That Men Suffer From Divorce Just As Much As Women

men of divorce

Although not much attention has traditionally been given to men of divorce, recent studies have revealed that men suffer from negative consequences just as often as women do.  Men may experience or express effects of divorce differently from women, but they still suffer.  Studies of divorced men revealed that they are at a much higher risk of suicide and reportedly drink alcohol more heavily following a divorce.

One reason for this type of suffering is a lack of social networks as compared to women.  Men may feel less comfortable opening up to others about how they feel or seeking out help from professionals, such as counselors, following a divorce.  Men tend to feel ashamed following a divorce more often than women. They’re more likely to see divorce as a failure and also to take responsibility for it.

Men of divorce may experience a loss of structure and feelings of uncertainty when faced with tasks they became accustomed to their wives handling during the marriage.  They may also feel the extra burden of being responsible for two households – that of the ex-wife and kids, and the one they have to build up from the ground for themselves alone.

Those that get less frequent visits with their children typically experience more depression than fathers who get more frequent visits.  It also makes a difference if it was the wife who initiated the divorce or the husband.  Over 2/3rds of all divorces in the U.S. are initiated by women, and a common consensus among the men who are left are feelings of being “discarded” and “rejected”.

It’s important to both normalize and better understand the suffering that men experience following a divorce so that more research is done to help them.  Most of the attention has been given to women and children of divorce, leaving men to feel as though they’re not supposed to suffer or that no one cares about what happens to them following a divorce.  When more is done to understand how men of divorce suffer, then more options will become available to help them cope and thereby improve their ability as parents and members of society.