How to Find Him

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How to Find Him

Are you tired of waiting around for prince charming? It makes a great story. But in reality, if you are just waiting for the right guy to find you, you will kiss a lot of frogs without finding any princes. Instead, it pays to be proactive with your love life, like so many other aspects of life, rather than just wait for whoever comes along. But how do you find him, the right guy? He may not be the one, if such a thing exists, but the one for you. Don’t just sit on your duff and wait for him to arrive. He may not. And when he does see you, he may not recognize your interest, or that you two could be the perfect item.

Here’s how to make things happen. The first step, develop a gaze that shows how attractive and mysterious you are. Don’t just make eye contact, give him a look that will make him whither in his shoes. He’ll either strike up the courage to approach you, get a wingman to accompany him for a little support, or he’ll walk away, in which case it’s time to move on to the next potential candidate. If you see a cute guy walking a dog, approach them. Play with and pet it. Show how much you like dogs and start a little conversation. It’s a great, easy icebreaker. If you are an animal lover you already have something in common. And owning a dog shows he’s affectionate, responsible, caring and loving; good relationship traits.

If there is a nice guy you’d like to get to know better, use a pickup line. If a man uses it, it’s trite, unimaginative and falls flat. If a woman uses it, it’s funny, cheeky and lets him know you are interested. If you are at a sports bar or venue and see a guy you are interested in, use the game as an icebreaker. Ask who’s winning. What team is he rooting for? Ask about the rules. These questions will make him feel masculine as he can enlighten you on the information he knows. It will get the conversation flowing. And you’ll be able to judge his interest in you quickly. If you are a fellow sports fan, it should be easy to get the small talk rolling.

Another great way to capture a man’s heart is to be the damsel in distress. Have a problem you want him to solve. This works well on someone you know or have had your eye on for some time. Ask him to fix something for you, be it the printer in the copy room, something at your desk, your car in the parking lot, or wherever or whatever needs fixing. If he isn’t handy ask for his advice on something. Then thank him for his help. Offer to help him with something. Better yet invite him to dinner or lunch, on you as a thank you. There are lots of subtle and fun ways to maneuver the right man into your life. For more advice read, Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love you Deserve! By Matthew Hussey.

Great Ways to Ask Her Out

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Great Ways to Ask Her Out

Got your eye on someone but don’t exactly know how to broach the subject?  There are lots of persuasive and charming ways to get her to agree wholeheartedly to a first date and have her counting down the days. If you’re confused over the difference between an ask out and a pickup line you definitely need to rethink your approach. Here are some great ways to ask her out. The usual way it’s done is after a long session of chatting and joking. Ladies love a guy who can make them laugh. Show her your best side. Make sure to use good, open body language. Open handed gestures, great eye contact and a dashing smile can melt her heart and make her say anything. Here’s a great tip, use an element of your conversation together to hook her into a date. “Can you tell me more about your fascinating trip to Iceland over coffee?” Or “The funniest part of the story happened a few days later. Sorry, I’m running late on time. How about dinner this weekend and I’ll tell you the rest?”  Now what if there are spectators, her friends or her family? Instead, offer her your email address so that you can fill her in on whatever you were talking about, or send her a link to a funny video she just has to see.

If you met your love interest online, the phone ask out is the way to go. After emailing back and forth and a couple of phone calls you two are ready to meet in person. If you are a shy guy, it’s okay but don’t let this roll out to a series of calls or she will lose interest and move on. One or two calls is all. You may have gotten her attention by your perfectly composed and compelling emails. But talking on the phone is a whole new ball game. Just like anything else in life, prepare. Have a few crowd pleasing anecdotes, a few insights, an interesting question for her, and really listen to what she says and give feedback. Don’t hang around when you feel the conversation lag. In fact, it’s best to leave them wanting more. Why not tell a story or a joke and leave the ending for when you two meet face-to-face? There’s nothing like adding a little anticipation to boost interest. Lastly, you can never account for when you are going to meet someone. It often sneaks up on you. But if you are glued to the spot by some exceptionally beautiful creature in the supermarket line, the laundry mat, at the bank or some other public venue, don’t let the opportunity slide. You only live once. And don’t fear rejection. No one’s going to know. Instead, approach her and chat her up. Find something you have in common to talk about. Or make a witty comment about the situation or the décor. Compliment her on something. If the conversation goes well, ask her out to something without much commitment; a coffee, a drink, some dessert and so on. At the dog park have your pooch ask out hers, and you are the proxy. You and she can be their chaperones. For more advice, read Attract the Right Girl: How to Find Your Perfect Girl and Maker her Chase you for a Relationship by Bruce Bryans.

What Your Date’s Pet Says about Them

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What Your Date’s Pet Says about Them

Are you dating someone who has a pet? It’s often whispered that how a person interacts with their pet can tell you a lot about how they will act in a relationship.  What does your date’s pet say about them? First, discern how your date disciplines his or her pet. This is especially noticeable with dog owners. Are they too controlling? It’s important to discipline your pet. But if they are all over it to the point where the dog can’t be a dog, this person is way too type-A. You really have to be a laid back type-B to handle that. Another word comes to mind, high maintenance. You are going to be spending so much time following the rules that there won’t be any room for any fun. The same is true if they go the other way, no discipline whatsoever. This doesn’t bode well if you have or are planning to have children. You’ll have to enact all the discipline yourself. In fact, he or she may turn into just another one of the children. Have you ever met someone who let’s their pet eat at the dinner table? Proper hygiene aside, this person has boundary issues. They can’t say no. They are a people pleaser. If you require someone to stick up for themselves or for you, then you may want to move on. They will be spreading themselves way to thin, committing to everything, leaving little time for the relationship to blossom.

Does your date feel threatened or jealous of your pet? This person may be manipulative, controlling or just overly needy and clingy. Being threatened by a friend who used to be an ex is one thing, but a pet is certainly another. Has your date ever used their pet as an excuse? Pets are certainly an important responsibility. And you should definitely notice whether or not your date takes care of their pet properly, particularly if you want children. But if they are conscientious, loving and responsible pet owners chances are this is how they’ll act in the relationship toward you and also to any future children. In fact, lots of couple’s cohabitating today get a pet as a starter child, to see how well they manage taking care of a cute little being together. But aside from all of that, if your date says that they’d like to go somewhere with you, but can’t because their dog doesn’t like it for instance, they may be harboring passive-aggressive tendencies. Like it or not, conflict is a very important part of any relationship. That is, how couple’s fight determines how sturdy and seaworthy their relationship is. And if they can’t tell you that they don’t want to go directly, but instead use the dog as an excuse you can bet they don’t deal with conflict well. If your date is buying every accessory for the dog then they feel inadequate and so want to gain attention, and status through their animal. Beware unless you have an ample salary to feed this need. Notice how your date interacts with their pet or pets and you’ll gain precious insight on who they are, and whether to move forward with them to the next level. To learn about the special relationship people have with their pets, read Citizen Canine: Our Evolving Relationship with Cats and Dogs by David Grimm.

Can your Dog get you Dates?

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Everyone knows that pets are good for your health. They can make you feel a sense of well-being. And petting your favorite furry friend can even lower your blood pressure. Recent research out of the National Institutes of Health concluded that owning a pet can decrease loneliness, especially for those who live alone. But dogs and cats aren’t only good companions. Your dog can get you dates, at least according to a recent U.K. study. 5% of dog owners met someone and dated them according to their findings, and 1.5% of these people are still dating or together. What makes a better introduction than two pet owners whose dogs like each other? Pet owners love their pets, and it’s certainly a good avenue of conversation, a way to break the ice. After all, you know that you both have a love of animals in common. Enter two dating websites for pet lovers, PetPeopleMeet.com and DateMyPet.com. One woman outlined her experience meeting and falling in love with a dog rescuer she met on the former site. Many people wish their relationships with human mates were as easy and loving as it was with their pets. Dr. Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP picked up on this and penned an article entitled, “Can Pets Improve your Relationship?” Dr. Phillips elucidates an interesting phenomenon. She states that the characteristics we often seek in a mate are the same that we already have with our feisty feline or precocious pooch.

Still, pets can help bring a relationship together or it can tear it apart. Sometimes the pets get jealous for instance. Or they cause trouble when the couple is sharing a bed. These issues can be solved with a simple trip to the vet and some surfing online to find ways to counteract this behavior. But it’s important to note that often our pets are like a family member. So when dating, it’s important to find someone that say likes dogs if you are a dog owner, or at least is willing to tolerate them and be kind. Our pets in a way are a reflection and extension of us. But beyond that if you look at your pets as emotional baggage you’ll feel bad about yourself and make them feel bad, for no reason at all. Instead, you should look for someone who appreciates your pets as much as you do. Don’t get rid of your dog to suit a boyfriend or a girlfriend. That is way too big a sacrifice. You will harbor anger and resentment toward this person. It isn’t an equal partnership from the beginning. And think of the poor dog or cat. Certainly your pet can be an asset in finding a date.  But the trick is finding someone who can appreciate your pet long term, can see it as an asset, and have it bring you closer together rather than driving you farther apart. To learn more about the special relationship people have with their pets, read the insight of P. Elizabeth Anderson in her book, The Powerful Bond between People and Pets: Our Boundless Connections to Companion Animals.

A Dog Won’t Leave You For Leaving The Toilet Seat Up!

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Getting a dog is beneficial in so many ways, unless you’re not a ‘dog person’.  Having a dog gives people a sense of responsibility, companionship, and unconditional love.  Not only is having a dog usually a very positive experience, but giving a dog a home is also a virtuous act that can drastically improve the life of the dog and you.

This is especially helpful if you don’t have children or if you don’t get to see your children all the time because it gives you that companionship without having to jump into a new relationship with another person.

Taking care of a dog can also help take you outside of your ego and weaken your negative emotions.  Many people who have been diagnosed with depression and other mental conditions are told to get a dog because it has been proven that being around dogs is therapeutic.

Dogs are also very loyal, which may be a change in energy from what you were used to with your ex.  You won’t have to worry about them judging or disowning you for making a mistake.  Dogs tend to be very forgiving.

You might also want to take breaks from being around people after having to deal with attorneys and the back and forth toxicity with your ex.  Having a pet will provide a healthy social balance in your life so you’re not completely alone, but not developing unhealthy and rushed relationships either.