Use a Pro to get your Ex’s Texts


Use a Pro to get your Ex’s Texts

We all know how important texting has become in our love lives. Now they are becoming weighty evidence in divorce proceedings according to a survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Text messaging was present in the top three forms of electronic evidence used in divorce court today. But getting texts for your attorney can be difficult. You can either read them off the phone directly, or perhaps write them down for yourself.

The second method is to have them taken off the phone. This can be done even after the messages have been deleted. If there is some type of access code for security purposes, bypassing that would make the texts inadmissible in court according to John Simek, Vice President of a Virginia based computer security company called Sensei Enterprises, Inc. It’s like the difference between a suitcase that is open and one that is locked. Of this Simek said, “Then there is an expectation of privacy, and you’d better not be blowing by it.” Also understand that cell phone providers don’t store any messages on their end. So don’t go snooping in that direction, you’ll come up empty.

This is where you can use a trained pro to get your ex’s texts. According to Simek, a text message usually stays on the provider’s servers for about two weeks. But a case has to be filed before a security company can go in there and get a text. Otherwise, they have no leg to stand on legally. Searching the actual phone is really the best way to get at texts says Simek. Once a text has been deleted however, it can be hard to retrieve. Computer forensics companies can use several methods to try and retrieve these text messages. BitPim , Sim Card Seizure,  or Paraben Device Seizure are some of the methods used. Keep your fingers crossed.

“Normally it’s pretty volatile, these text messages,” says Simek. How your phone overwrites memory comes into play. But the forensics company will go through all of the internal organs of the phone to see if they can grab a hold of the steamy text your ex sent to their lover. These special software extractions can even get the date and time, important information where court is concerned. Some of the software programs even get inside the phone and take a photo of the text. These companies can even testify in court on how the text was extracted.  So the next time you have a text that can help pay off in divorce court, look up your local computer forensic security company. They may be able to ensure you get your hands on it, and your lawyer does too. For more assistance with evidence seeking read, The Everything Private Investigation Book: Master the Techniques of the Pros to Examine Evidence, Track down People, and Discover the Truth by Sheila L. Stephens.

Managing the Cost of Divorce


Managing the Cost of Divorce

A wedding is one of the most expensive events in your life, but a divorce is a close runner up. According to CNNMoney a typical wedding costs around $30,000. The Huffington Post reports that the average divorce costs between $15,000 and $20,000. Of course your wedding may not have cost that much and your divorce may not either. But these kinds of figures will stop your heart if you have to endure them. There are lots of things to pay for; legal bills, court fees, and if you need a forensic accountant or a private investigator your fees could skyrocket. It can be very easy to rack up the bills, particularly if your thoughts are clouded by revenge. Instead of an all-out war that may leave both of you financially barren, why not take a sensible approach, managing the divorce to cut the cost and give you both the chance at a brighter future? One of the most costly things is when a lawyer is used not to make sure that assets are split adequately but to get revenge. Chair of the family law practice at the law firm Brach Eichler, Carl Soranno says, “They go in with the feeling of revenge. Their lawyer is their champion. They love putting together 50-page certifications of all the bad things their spouse did — until about six months in, when you’ve spent your 401(k) or your child’s college fund.” Remember that divorce isn’t about the past, it’s about the future. Don’t sink $3,000 on legal fees fighting over who will buy your kids $200 jacket. If you can’t seem to put your emotions aside, see a therapist. It will be less expensive and healthier for you and your future.

If you are going to get a divorce, don’t go in blind. Do some research. Realize that divorce laws can vary from state to state, so find out what you can about your state’s divorce laws. This way when you need to hire a professional you know what you are talking about and won’t waste time. If you can, why not share pertinent information with your soon-to-be ex-spouse? Saving time is saving money. What’s more, lawyers usually charge by the hour, even with phone calls. Getting right to the point is important. So the more you know the less it should cost you. This doesn’t just mean in the legal sense. Get educated on financial matters as well. Really, divorce is a numbers game, particularly about finances. Do some research online. Look for some free courses. Talk to a financial planner. There are even financial planners out there today who handle divorce, called divorced financial analysts. Make sure they are certified with a good reputation. These planners can help you get a sense of what the assets are, how the negotiations should go, they can generate income and expense reports, and sort out matters to do with wills, insurance, taxes, credit and so on. One of the most time-consuming processes of a divorce is paperwork. You will have to gather it all together. Your attorney should know what you need. Talk to the financial planner as they will have advice on the subject. too. Bring all the documents you need when you have a meeting with your lawyer so as not to waste time and to save money. It makes your lawyer’s job easier and more efficient, too.

Look at your divorce as asset management. If you want $10,000 out of your joint investment but it’s going to take a year and $8,000 for you to get it, is it really worth it? Write down a list of what you really want, from your 401K to real estate, and sort it out with the financial planner and/or lawyer. Be as efficient with your lawyer as possible. Don’t think that your divorce will be different. Of course it might be. But it’s better to keep all your ducks in a row and be as organized and efficient as possible. To learn how to save yourself all kinds of hassles throughout the course of your love life, read The New Love Deal: Everything You Must Know Before Marrying, Moving In, or Moving On! by Michele Lowrance.

Evidence Taken From Smartphones Is Increasingly Being Used In Divorce Cases

smartphone as evidence

A recent survey has revealed that evidence from smart phones has increased in prevalence within divorce cases over the past 3 years.  Over 92% of the nation’s top divorce lawyers have claimed to see an increase in this type of evidence in their courtrooms.  Evidence from text messages is the most prevalent, and emails are the second most common.  Text messaging is steadily becoming the most common form of communication because it can be done more discretely than speaking over the phone and so can be done more often.

Unless someone is audio recording a telephone conversation, speaking over the phone usually bears no evidence because then it’s only a matter of “he said, she said”, which usually won’t hold up in the courtroom.  Texting and emailing are written forms of documentation that can be easily saved and shared with others.  Texting also gives specific information as to who sent the message and when that person sent it.  It’s very difficult to argue against this type of evidence because saying that you didn’t send a text when it’s available for everyone to see wouldn’t be believable.

If you think that you’re being sneaky by texting, keep in mind that these messages can be used as written documentation.  And just because you have deleted your past messages, doesn’t mean that the person you’ve been texting has done the same.


Privileged Housewives Reportedly Make For The Worst Divorce Clients

wealthy housewives

Many women who come from wealthy marriages, in which they did not supply any of the wealth themselves, can be some of the most difficult and self-absorbed clients for divorce lawyers to deal with.  Often times, these women expect to get at least 50% of everything their husband earns and owns, based on high-end divorce cases they may have seen in the media.  They want to live the same luxurious and worry-free life they maintained while they were married to their moneymaker husbands, but without the commitment and self-sacrifice of marriage.

This isn’t to say that all housewives are selfish and leave for strictly self-serving reasons.  Many women who happen to be in this type of financial situation have justifiable reasons for leaving their husbands.  Businessmen who make a lot of money may be away from home a lot, and found to be unfaithful.  Men with financial power could also be disrespectful to their wives, using their wives’ lack of financial independence to exert control over them and as a subject used to demean them.  As stated before, a divorce is never black and white; there are always subjective differences among them, even for the extremely wealthy.

It is the women who have a false impression of what they deserve from a divorce that can make for the most difficult divorce clients because they’re so used to getting whatever they want without really having to work for it. They think and believe this pattern should continue, even upon leaving the person who gave them all of this unearned wealth and social status to begin with.


Most Family/Divorce Lawyers You’ll Find Are Women

female lawyer

Divorce lawyers are dealing with a very emotionally-charged group of people.  They have to be patient with these clients, empathetic, and very good listeners.  Divorce lawyers are more likely to encounter clients who express a variety of emotions to them, which they need to have certain skills to deal with professionally without seeming overly cold.  They have to be calm, professional, caring, and on top of their work in order to be good at what they do.

It’s not that men are not capable of being good divorce lawyers; it just so happens that most men choose another route of law to go into.  This may be to avoid the emotional charges divorce clients tend to carry with them, among other stressful issues that go along with getting a divorce.

With a female divorce lawyer, a man may feel more comfortable opening up and expressing his emotions to her than he would with a male divorce lawyer.  He may also show more emotions here because, in general, men in Western society are conditioned to keep their emotions bottled up and not expressed to their friends and colleagues.  Whereas for women, it’s completely normal and expected for them to express sadness and anger over a divorce to their friends, colleagues, family, and whomever else they feel comfortable with.

A man getting divorced may be more likely to seek out a male divorce lawyer, however, if he does this, he may get all the business advice and support he needs, but neglect his emotional needs by continuing to keep them bottled up inside.  It’s usually suggested that people seek counseling during their divorce, but men are much less likely to do this due to the stigma of counseling being correlated with weakness.  So, often the only place men may feel comfortable to vent about their feelings is with their divorce lawyers, and if they don’t feel that their lawyers are compassionate and understanding of their emotions, they will continue to suppress them.