If he’s got these in his Search History, Delete Him

Online-Flirting-Is-Cheating

If he’s got these in his Search History, Delete Him

We are all guilty of looking at things we shouldn’t on the internet from time to time. But there are certain things that cross the line. Respect and trust need to exist in any relationship for it to be healthy and happy. But there are just certain things a husband or boyfriend shouldn’t be seeking out. If he’s got these websites in his search history, delete him from your life or expect trouble the next time you sign on to his shenanigans. It’s perfectly normal for a guy to seek out some porn. They are guys, they are going to look. But if you happen to find an over-obsessive amount, this is a deal breaker. It may mean he’s addicted to porn. He could then have trouble pleasing you.

Another phenomenon that is occurring, guys who expect their wives and girlfriends to act like porn stars in the bedroom. While you may be all about exploring your kinky side, just understand that the women in these films never get their needs met. So if you want him to go down south, or you wish to explore some of your own fantasies, you’d better come right out and talk about it or it could all be over. Another deal breaker in this realm is porn that is too extreme. Sure he may have a fetish which you enjoy or are at least willing to accommodate. But if you find out he’s really into some sick stuff, it’s time to hit the road. Next thing you know he’ll want to bring some of that stuff into the bedroom. FYI, if you’re up for it, a little bit of good quality porn between consenting adults can actually stimulate your love life form time to time.

If he’s been on dating sites since you two have become an item, get rid of him. He’s a player, a narcissist; he’s self-absorbed and doesn’t care about your feelings. He’s looking to cheat. One side note, make sure you two have verbalized that you are in a committed relationship. Some girls just assume. If you haven’t said it, it isn’t true. When you are only dating you can’t expect him to shut down his dating profile. You never know what might happen. He’s keeping his options open or still deciding on you. You may be in the same phase. But if you’ve said the three little words, be mine only and they said yes, then this guy is a heartless scumbag. He’ll give you a line of crap. If you fall for it, he’ll cheat on you anyway, and you’ll be in more pain and hate yourself worse for failing to see through his jive.

If your man has a long history of surfing gay websites, you need to confront him about it. There’s nothing wrong with different sexual orientations. If you fantasize about having two guys, and the relationship doesn’t mean that much to you emotionally, you may find it exhilarating. Otherwise, your man may run off with another man. How will you feel then? If you find him on Ashley Madison or some other type of cheating website, sign off on this relationship. He’s a cheater and a sneak. For help moving on if or when your break up read, You Didn’t Want Him Anyway: Get Over Any Man in 5 Simple Steps by Claire Casey.

Reasons Men end Relationships

BREAKING-UP

Reasons Men end Relationships

There are the normal reasons men end relationships such as his girlfriend is too clingy, a high maintenance drama queen, a baby, a cheater, a gold digger, too freaky to bring home to mom, always complaining, gossipy, or have nothing in common with. But there are little reasons too, that are often off of a woman’s radar that a man will end a relationship. Have you ever fought with your family or spoken to them in a harsh manner in front of him? This can be a deal breaker for men. If that’s just the way you talk in your family and you are serious about this guy, sit him down and explain it to him. Not all families, ethnicities and customs are the same. It can often be hard to understand as an outsider. But if you are clearly disrespecting your parents in front of him and you have no excuse for it, think about what it makes him think about you.

When all the photos you have on your Instagram, Facebook and other social media sites are all about partying your man notices, and he wonders. Just as if you have some idea that a man parties too much or might have an alcohol or substance abuse problem. Make sure to have photos of varying kinds. And go on dates with your special guy to the coffee house, museum, art gallery, park or some other romantic and cerebral venue. Guys can feel vulnerable if you talk about your ex too much. It makes him think they are the rebound guy or that that relationship meant more to you than the one you are in with him. Instead, proceed carefully and let these stories unfold over time. Keep the lines of communication open and make him comfortable enough to ask you anything. And expect him to return the favor. For more advice read, Why You’re Still Single: The 7 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid with Men by James Taylor.

Signs her Jealousy is a Real Problem

deal-with-jealousy

Signs her Jealousy is a Real Problem

Everyone feels a twinge of jealousy around their significant other now and then. A little bit can make you feel special, and show you how much your girlfriend or wife cares. It’s great to feel so needed and loved. But if there is more than just a little it can cause serious problems in your relationship. The problem is that jealousy can rear its head in so many ugly ways; insecurity, resentment, anxiety and fear.  She can exhibit terrible trust issues. And nothing is worse than having a woman you adore distrust you no matter how many ways you prove your devotion to her. Is the special lady in your life exhibiting behavior that’s tearing you two apart instead of pushing you together? Here are some signs that her jealousy is a real problem in your relationship.

Are you able to talk about other women in her presence? If you can’t mention a coworker, a long-time female friend or the waitress at your favorite greasy spoon and how she knows what you are ordering before you ask for it, without your girlfriend getting an attitude, your relationship is in trouble. What happens when you have to work on a project with that female coworker? Or you have to do a campaign with an attractive single woman for a local charity you are involved in? You will have to interact with other women throughout life. And if she can’t handle that you are going to be spending a lot of time consoling her, dodging venomous barbs and getting the cold shoulder.

Truth be told, every guy flirts and every woman too. It’s done in a certain way to be nice, polite and friendly. There’s formal flirting and then there’s the kind of flirting that comes with courtship. The problem is while most girls can tell the difference, if yours gets huffy when you even speak to a girl, never mind speak to her nicely you’ve got a real issue on your hands. The next time you are checking in at the airline counter and the clerk is attractive or a neighbor makes small talk, you are going to be in the doghouse. Do you know what it’s like to be in the doghouse while going on vacation with a woman, at the very beginning of the trip? It’s not fun. All you’ll be thinking about is how much you are paying to not have fun. She’s too jealous if she’s watching your every move with other women.

Is she overbearing? Does she constantly watch over you, want to know where you are, what you are doing, who was on the phone and who you were with? If she’s reading your texts or emails, you’ve got a problem. That shows both a total lack of trust and a breach of privacy, which is a total disregard for your feelings in a paranoid quest to find out what, that there’s nothing there? These machinations of the mind will drive you crazy. You will get no rest. Aren’t you stressed out enough about work? A man’s home should be his sanctuary against the cold, brutal world. And his woman should be his partner, not his antagonist. If you’re the one feeling jealous in your relationship read, Jealousy: Relationship Help with Self-Esteem, Insecurity and Trust Issues by Robert Rain.

How Women can Protect Themselves in Bars

happy-hour

How Women can Protect Themselves in Bars

Bars can be great places to relax, have fun, hang loose and meet new friends, or even someone special. But as much as harmless or friendly flirting occurs in bars they are also the venues of unwanted sexual aggression and advances. A new study out of the University of Toronto’s Centre for Addiction and Mental Health entitled Blurred Lines?” Sexual Aggression and Barroom Culture found that 50% of women who attend bars are victims of sexual aggression. 90% of the time males initiated this aggression and females were the victims. Though this is quite common, women don’t have to be mere victims. So how can women protect themselves in bars? First, be extra vigilant when interacting with strangers. The atmosphere in a bar is often charged sexually. The sexual aggression that occurs in bars generally takes place between strangers, so says the senior research scientist of the Alcohol and Drug Abuse Institute of the University of Washington Jeanette Norris. In fact, it is the unfamiliarity that could create a perfect environment for sexual aggression. According to Dr. Norris, there are two psychological phenomenon that occur, “First, perpetrators might be more likely to depersonalize and dehumanize the targeted woman, and second, it might lead them to believe they are less likely to suffer any consequences for their actions.”

Don’t drink so much when you are in the bar. Women who get drunk are seen as sexually more promiscuous or worthy of blame according to lead researcher on the Toronto study Dr. Kathyrn Graham.   Dr. Norris states, “Other research has shown that women who drink are often seen as more sexually available than women who do not drink. They may also be seen in generally negative or derogatory ways – as sluts, unfeminine, or generally not worthy of respect – which may provide an excuse for attacking women sexually.” Next, consider the reputation of the place you are going to. If it is a seedy place, somewhere that isn’t well lit or that has a poor reputation, head someplace else. If a man is being sexually inappropriate in an establishment with a good reputation, reach out the restaurant manager or even the bartender and they will put a stop to this inappropriate behavior, or perhaps eject the man entirely. If a man is coming on to you aggressively, don’t give him an inch. Shun him and let him know immediately that you aren’t interested. If it causes a scene, so what? It will be him that’s embarrassed and he’s more likely to back off. Fear of creating a scene or embarrassing him protects the perpetrator. Let your aggressor know straight out that you aren’t interested and shun him and he’s more likely to back off. If he continues to be aggressive let the bartender know or leave immediately before the incident escalates. Don’t go to bars by yourself. A group is safer than being alone or just with one other friend. Sit near the middle of the bar if you can. Predators go for easy targets usually off in the corners. Lastly, use the belly button rule. Point your belly button toward people you want to talk to and away from those you don’t. To learn more about sexual aggression read, Examining the Context of Sexual Aggression by Tim Hoyt.

Signs the Date Won’t go well

BAD-DATE

Signs the Date Won’t go well

Everyone gets nervous and excited about a date. It is kind of like a job interview for love. You work so hard to make a good impression, especially on the first date. Some people focus so much on how they are doing that they hardly bother to make out what’s going on from the other side of the table. And by the time they really figure out, it’s too late. They are enwrapped within a bad relationship. Sure you have to look your best and try to say the right things. But also keep careful attention to your date. You don’t want to be one of those people who has to make excuses for your date, or a poor relationship decision. And who wants to waste time with the wrong person? You want to spend you precious time with the right one. There are certain warning signs that a date and a subsequent relationship won’t go well. Have you ever been out with a date and he or she recognizes someone, and they have a very engaged conversation but your date doesn’t even introduce you or acknowledge your presence? This is a terrible sign. A date should be more than happy, even proud to introduce you. If you are cast aside now, during a date when someone is on their best behavior, how will they act when you are in a relationship together?

If you are out on a date with someone and they call you by the wrong name, you should call it quits right from the get-go. This person does not hold you in a high regard. They can’t even remember your name? Was it their ex’s name that slipped out? If so they may still be hung up on them. You don’t want to be in the middle of that. You want someone to treat you in the superlative manner that you deserve. If your date answers their cell phone and doesn’t get off right away, or is engaged in checking their email right in front of you, don’t go on a second date with this person. They will be engrossed in their electronics from here on out, and you will always play second fiddle to them. If everything is going alright so far, but you find the conversation incredibly dull, in fact you are exhausted and don’t know why, then this person just doesn’t flip your switch. There’s no chemistry. Nerves can get in the way of chemistry. But then you shouldn’t be bored. So if you aren’t feeling it with someone, and if nothing is obstructing you from doing so, then it’s time to cut your ties and sail on. Sometimes a date is going great until you somehow touch on a subject that you two are on different sides of, for instance if you are of different religious or political persuasions. How a situation such as this is handled can tell what the future relationship will be like. You won’t always agree. If this person steamrolls over your point of view, or callously attacks it without any regard for your feelings, a follow up date certainly isn’t in order. To find out how to find love and avoid pitfalls along the way read Dating with Pure Passion: More than Rules, More than Courtship, More than a Formula by Rob Eagar.