Have you been beaten out to a beautiful, angelic creature by a self-absorbed creep? Or are you a gal wondering why yet again you chose the narcissist over the good guy? Why do jerks seem to knock it out of the park more times than not at dating while good guys only seem to warm benches? It’s not rocket science. It really comes down to interaction. Here’s why jerks win in dating and what you can learn from them. First, jerks aren’t afraid to get shot down. Good guys are wracked with insecurity about it. But when you experience it, the truth is your imagination is way worse than what happens in real life. Next, they don’t care about hurting the other person’s feelings. Nice guys watch their step. But some of them walk on eggshells. The truth is women want someone whose desire for them causes the suitor to overstep normal boundaries. It’s better to be passionate and risk being rude than being polite but not making your desire clear. Jerks are entertaining. While nice guys can be dull. When going on a date, ramp up the charm, that’s a great way for a good guy to get his passion across in an interesting way, and one he’s comfortable with. Why not add an air of mystery? Don’t tell her where you’re going on a date. Give her clues and keep her guessing. Be entertaining and you won’t lose out to a jerk.
A jerk keeps women on their toes. A nice guy doesn’t. A woman wants to be enchanted, taste a little danger or risk; she wants to know the guy she’s with is desirable and knows his worth. In fact, you could make her work a little bit to win you over. But if she gets too comfortable, she may get bored and then you’re back to square one. Occasionally turn the tables on her. Make her work for it. Surprise her. And keep her on her toes. Make your love worth something. If you give it too quickly or too freely than it’s worth less. Jerks don’t keep you guessing. You know where you stand with them. You know what they want. Nice guys sometimes beat around the bush for what they want. And if a woman is crossing the line he’s apt to let her go. But a jerk will hold her to task. A woman doesn’t want to be put on a pedestal. She wants to be challenged occasionally. So challenge her. It doesn’t have to be in a malicious way. Put her on notice when she’s crossed the line. But be direct and let her know what needs and desires you want her to fulfill, too. Chances are her interest will be piqued rather than decreased. Jerks aren’t afraid to be themselves. And a nice guy shouldn’t be afraid either. Utilize these and you can be nice and still get the girl; every good guy’s dream come true. For more advice, read The Guide to Picking up Girls by Gabe Fischbarg.