Stop Waiting around Wondering if he will Marry You

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Stop Waiting around Wondering if he will Marry You

There are lots of women who want to get married but stay in relationships where it isn’t abundantly clear where things are headed. So they avoid the subject at all costs. They wonder whether or not he wants the relationship to progress. Lots of young women think that when the moment is right, true love barges in, sweeps you up and carries you off. Many women pine for that day, wishing and waiting, but never think that in real life, it doesn’t always work like that. An awkward conversation with your partner as to whether or not he wants the same kind of relationship is usually how it goes. Those who want marriage the most are often the most reluctant to address the issue, for fear of rejection. It may even cause the relationship to implode. But if one person wants one thing, and another person wants something else, the relationship cannot last. Hanging on to a relationship that is doomed isn’t doing anyone any favors. Here are some other considerations for those who find themselves in this position.

You may be so invested that leaving is not a palatable option. Lots of women become preoccupied with how much work they’ve already put into the relationship, and where they are in terms of their child bearing years, but if you aren’t carefully considering whether or not this person has long-term potential, or even wants what you want, you are missing the point entirely. Some people fall into a groove. They get comfortable. It is usually a slow creep. Suddenly the two are cohabitating and in a routine. Though the situation does not fulfill her deeply, the woman usually becomes averse to breaking out of it. If he moves out for instance, she’ll have to find a roommate, and bear the brunt of the cost herself, until she finds one.

These decisions are not made easily. But settling for something you don’t want will leave a void. That hollow will grow and ultimately tear the relationship apart. Either that or you will live unfulfilled, numb, a lovelorn sleepwalker. If it does fall to pieces, you’ll wonder why you spent so much time with him to begin with, and all of that time wasted when you should have been looking for someone that fulfills you, and wants the same things you do. Realize that people change their minds. But if you can’t talk about the future with someone, or they have promised you some movement in the past and failed to deliver, then this person is not for you. They don’t have the same goals as you. If you want the right future you may have to sacrifice the present to get to it. Though it hurts in the beginning it is satisfying in the end. For more advice read, The List: 7 Ways to Tell If He’s Going to Marry You – In 30 Days or Less! By Mary Corbett & Sheila Corbett Kihne.

He’s Nice, but Not for You

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So you met someone. He’s got everything you want in a man. He’s funny, smart, articulate, charming, he takes good care of himself, and has a fulfilling career. What’s not to love? But inside, you know that something isn’t right. He’s nice, but not for you. What’s going on here? Some women fall in love with the concept of the perfect man. But our fantasies don’t always match up with reality. Of course, it could also be that you two are just getting to know each other. Have you given him a proper chance? Are you just coming out of a relationship, or have you been out of the game awhile and perhaps your senses aren’t so keen? Here are some ways to tell that it’s just not working, or not going to work even though he seems great. First, if you never had a honeymoon phase. This is when each person believes the other is their perfect soul mate. They want to spend every waking moment together. If you don’t get any butterflies in your stomach, but you two are comfortable together, remain friends. But if there’s no chemistry, what’s the point in being together? Another sign of a dead end relationship is when you run out of stuff to talk about. When it all seems like meaningless chit-chat, and you don’t have any really powerful, funny, fun, deep, or meaningful conversations, than you two just aren’t that compatible.

If you guys spend a lot of time texting and talking on the phone but not in person, he may not be the guy for you. People who really care about one another make time for each other. If you would rather see your girlfriends than hang out with him, or if he has no time for you, than the relationship has fizzled out with no hope of revival. Tell him this and if he really cares about you, he’ll make time for you. If not, it’s best to move on. Does he remember your birthday? Has he forgotten about one of your dates? If so, lose him. You aren’t that important to him. And if he is like this in the beginning of the relationship, how will he act later on? You deserve to be treated exceptionally well with every kindness and consideration granted to you. And you should expect to do the same for him. But to be this cavalier about things is unconscionable. If you’ve been together for a while now but you aren’t talking about or making plans for the future, this could be a sign that he’s nice, but not for you. If you have exciting news, or something has really hit you out of nowhere like a runaway bus and he isn’t there for you, let him go. He’s not the one. You need a boyfriend that will be there for you during the highs and lows of life. If you aren’t there for each other, what’s the point? If you are still unsure of whether you’re in the right relationship, author Ian Kerner offers some helpful advice in his book, Be Honest–You’re Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve.