Want to be Attractive? Be a Nonconformist

nonconformist

Want to be Attractive? Be a Nonconformist

It’s the guy who plays guitar and rides a motorcycle, or the spritely minx who shows a little skin and sports that daring tattoo. It’s the musicians, artists, actors and activists. Those mavericks with the devil may cry attitude. They shake their fist at society and takeoff, blazing their own trail, and mowing down whatever stands in their way. Those rebels, loners, artists and performers, they take our breath away. They are our adolescent crushes adorning teenage rooms in posters. The stars change from one generation to the next, but the attitude is the same. Their loving eyes fall upon us and tell us, yes we are special and can go our own way too. Hand-in-hand we imagine laughing at the dullards as we take off on wild adventures together with our very own teenage crush. So if you want to be attractive, there’s an easy way. Be a rebel, also known as a nonconformist.

Of course, lots of sitcom episodes teach us that any character that isn’t true to him or herself falls flat on their face, and hilarity ensues. Don’t let that be you. But a bigger question remains. Why are we so instantly attracted to the ones who at a moment’s notice break all the rules, and grin from ear-to-ear while doing it? University of Queensland psychologist Matthew Hornsey asked himself this question. He set out to on a series of experiments to find why nonconformists exude sex appeal.

The first thing Hornsey and his team found out was that nonconformists were attractive across both genders. It’s a general misconception that men prefer conformists. A large number of women try all their lives to fit in. But they do so to their detriment, at least as far as dating goes. So how did Hornsey come about this information? He conducted a total of five studies. The first had 115 college students as participants. Here, they were asked to rank the attractiveness of 20 profiles. They had to say how attractive they themselves found the person in the profile, as well as how the opposite sex would rank them. In each profile’s statement there was tailored in a unique way either a conformist or nonconformist statement. They said things like, “She is happy to go along with what others are doing,” versus, “She enjoys time to herself rather than going along with others.” Researchers found that the majority overwhelmingly chose nonconformist profiles more attractive, no matter their sex. Hornsey and his team were doubly surprised that women tended to act conformist in the company of men, when clearly the results of their study showed that women were more attractive when they were nonconformist. Researchers wrote that this was a holdover belief from an era when, “women were expected to be submissive, modest, subdued, agreeable.” The results of Hornsey’s work was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. To learn how to be a nonconformist read, The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World by Chris Guillebeau.

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

attraction

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

Guys are traditionally the pursuers, and even though we live in an enlightened society most women still prefer it that way. But lots of guys wonder what kind of man women are attracted to, and how to bring the best qualities out in themselves. Women tend to vary greatly in tastes. Lucky for most poor dolts who have hardly a clue, science has stepped in to try and answer the dizzying, age-old question of what kind of guy women want. Here are some of the things science has uncovered. If you’re flying without your wingman, you may find yourself cruising over lonesomeville for quite some time. For one thing, women rate men more attractive in group photos rather than when by themselves, at least according to a study out of the University of San Diego. Therefore, it stands to reason you look better when someone’s there with you. Researchers say this is due to something called the “cheerleader effect.” People look more attractive with their faces together, since incongruities in any one person are sort of evened out by the whole group. Another thing, women like men who know how to work a room. If you are always with an entourage and you’re the life of the party, or at least she thinks you are, you look high status and someone fun to be around.

Are you a single dad? Be sure to take your baby out cruising. Just keep it during daytime hours. Not only will you get father of the year, you might score a few phone numbers. A study in France found that men who cooed, smiled at and talked to infants were 40% more likely to score a woman’s phone number than those who ignored a baby. Researchers say it shows a greater propensity for being a good dad, should the couple have offspring. Some guys shave every day. Others sport a righteous beard. But why not shave every ten days? According to Australian researchers, men who did so were seen as the most attractive. This layer of stubble is thought to project just the right level of masculinity. Here’s some simple advice. Get some nice wheels and you’ll turn heads. If you can’t afford it, borrow some. A British study found that the same dude in a Bentley Continental was found way more attractive than one in a Ford Fiesta, even with the same clothes and facial expressions. Status is the reason, and the projection of resources which he may be willing to share with a certain, special lady.

If you’re an animal lover, taking your dog for a walk may not just be a necessity, but a way to meet someone. A French study found that women were three times more likely to give up their digits to a man walking his dog versus one who approached alone. Dogs break the ice. They also project kindness, sensitivity and thoughtfulness, all qualities women find appealing. Got a little extra time? Why not volunteer? A Cornell study found that women who knew a man volunteered found him a better candidate for dating and a long-term relationship, due to the fact that he was more selfless and compassionate. If you really want to get a woman to fall for you, make her laugh. A University of New Mexico study found that those guys who could make a sharp witted quip and make a woman laugh were more likely to have short-term, uncommitted sex than their straight-laced counterparts. These quick bursts reveal creativity and intellect, two qualities women greatly desire.

Lastly, if you want to get more hits on your dating profile, include the words “creative,” “ambitious,” and “laugh.” Dating sight Zoosk did a survey and found profiles that had these words got 33% more messages. Include words like “read” or “book” or exercise words like jogging, lifting weights and the like also increased message frequency. Be sure to take it slow. Mention “drinks” or “dinner” too quickly and your response rate will plummet 35%. So this advice improves your hit rate. But what about quality control? Read, How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back by Henry Cloud, and you’ll have that covered too.

How to tell your Husband You’re Pregnant

Pregnancy-Announcement

How to tell your Husband You’re Pregnant

You two have been looking forward to becoming parents, and growing your special love by bringing a unique being, made by the two of you into this world. You can’t just nonchalantly blurt the news over the breakfast table. This calls for a special touch. You want to make a real impact to celebrate the good news but you just don’t know how to do it. How do you tell your husband you’re pregnant in a beautiful way? There are plenty of ways to do it in a creative way that doesn’t cost a lot. The trick is to tailor it to him. If your husband is a sports fan get his favorite team in baby clothes. Wrap it up and give it to him. He won’t soon forget that. What if you’ve got a handyman? Buy a new tool box, but instead of tools fill it with a pacifier, diapers, baby powder, some toys and a bib. If you want to surprise him first thing in the morning write on the mirror in a dry-erase marker in the bathroom the night before, “Coming Soon, Baby!” He’ll surely get a nice surprise when he goes in there in the morning. Want to keep him on his toes? Why not slip a pair of baby shoes into his shoes? He’ll get the drift. And it will be funny to see him figure it out.

Do you cook dinner at home? If so, why not set a table for three? Place a small plate, a sipping cup or bottle, a tiny fork and so on in a third place at the table. See how long it takes him to get what’s going on. His reaction will be priceless. Next, if he’s the type that’s helpful and doesn’t get bent out of shape about moving the furniture, tell him you are redoing the bedroom. Draw up a plan for where things will go. Let him know where the bed, the dressers and night tables and everything else will go, including the crib. Wait for it. If he doesn’t get it right away keep the joke going until it dawns on him. Here’s a novel idea; purchase two ceramic plates and a paint marker. This is also called a ceramic marker. You can buy these at your local craft store. Write a special message concerning your pregnancy on the plate and then bake it in the oven so it sets. All the instructions should be on the paint marker.  Ask at the craft store if you have any further questions. Next, make dinner. Ask him to do the dishes and see how he reacts when he sees his plate. There are lots of easy and fun ways to tell your husband you’re pregnant. And why not start things off with a great story? If your husband isn’t camera shy, you could have a hidden camera and film the whole thing too. You can even show the child when they’re old enough. For more ideas read, 103 Creative Ways to Announce Your Pregnancy! By Trina Boice.

Great Date Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

COUPLE-CYCLING

Great Date Ideas that Won’t Break the Bank

With today’s economy the way it is, it’s hard to wow someone on a budget. But just as with gifts, it’s really the thought that counts. So if you spend your time heavy on the planning phase, you won’t have to shell out a lot or run up the credit card bills in order to have that perfect date. Here are some great date ideas that won’t break the bank. If you live near the ocean, why not try a day at the beach? It doesn’t cost you anything. The sound of the waves rolling in is relaxing. You’ll get to see your date in a bathing suit. And if you’re lucky they’ll ask you to rub suntan lotion on them, added bonus! A lake or a stroll in the woods by a babbling brook with a little dip in a swimming hole is a great alternative. Be sure to have a backup plan though if the forecast calls for rain. What about a drive-in movie theater? There’s the nostalgia factor. It doesn’t cost that much. You can find them all over the country, they’re making a comeback. Check out this website to find one near you driveintheater.com. And you get all the excitement of watching a movie with a big group of people with all the intimacy of being alone with your date in the car. There’s plenty of cheap junk food to be had, too. And who doesn’t like a steamy make out session in the car?

How about rollerskating? It can bring you back to those heady teen days of holding hands while skating together. If you are worried about the noise or too many kids, check your local rink. Lots of rollerskating rinks have adult only hours or late night hours. Some even have bars. Not only is it cute and fun but its great exercise and easy on the wallet. Why not make a candle lit dinner at your place? Who doesn’t love that? If you’re a great cook it’s even better. Go-karting is another fun date idea that fits into almost any budget. It’s fast, fun and can bring out a little lively competition. Why not go for a walk? Hiking is a great, inexpensive way to get to know your date in the beauty of nature. Browse hiking websites to see the best trails and most scenic local, state and national parks in your area. Search out any waterfalls or landmarks in the area you can hit on the way. Show your date the most tranquil spot. And think of how great your photos will look! A regular public park can be nice, too. Go on a day when they have art in the park, a market, or a concert. That’ll woo them. How about antiquing? Hit all the antique shops in the neighborhood. No one said you had to buy anything. With all these great budget dating ideas, you’ll finally be able to save a little money while still keeping your partner impressed. For more on this topic, read 50 Powerful Date Ideas: Brag-Worthy, Cost-Effective Dates from a Professional Dating Coach by Jordan Gray.

Memorable Outdoor Dates

Happy Couple Growing Old Together

Memorable Outdoor Dates

Are you the outdoorsy type? If you can’t stand being cramped indoors and want to share your love for the great wooly wilds out your back door, these date ideas are for you. Just make sure your love interest is likeminded when it comes to trekking through the wilderness or you may find yourself hiking solo. But if you both like hitting the trail and basking in all the beauty and wonder of the great outdoors, these dates are for you. If you know your sweetie loves to hit the trails, why not find a local lookout point, a waterfall, or something of note? Make sure you find out how treacherous it is and run the hiking level past your honey or you may be hauling two packs up the mountain. Easier is better than harder when you are just getting to know each other, unless you are both experienced hikers or some other such expert. Have a picnic lunch ready for when you make it up there. For those who love animals, but want to keep it less strenuous why not a zoo or a local animal reserve? A wolf or bird sanctuary can be fun, too. For a cute option, go to a petting zoo. Pick-your-own farms are good ways to get some fresh air, do something different and get to know someone. There are often events and shopping opportunities, too, which are great for dates. Take advantage of a volunteer opportunity if you are both community minded and want to give back. Americorps or volunteermatch.org will give you lots of ideas from helping build homes for the homeless to building dog enclosures for a local animal shelter.

An amusement park can make a great date, especially if you are both adrenaline junkies. And a recent study found that a couple who has survived a dangerous encounter are more likely to be casualties of cupid’s arrow. A water park would be great fun, too. What’s more romantic than going on a boat? Sailing is romantic but perhaps a little too complicated unless the goal is to see if you two jive when doing something complicated together. Perhaps a day cruise would be nice. You can see yourself and your date chatting and laughing over some lovely scenery and enjoying the sunshine and the sharp briny air of the sea. A circle line cruise or site seeing cruise can give you a great backdrop for getting to know each other and setting the mood. For more fun, try water sports, a beach date or going to the lake. Fishing or visiting a swimming hole might be nice for a laid back date if your lover is so inclined. If you want to see if your love is in the stars, suggest stargazing. Go to a presentation of the local astronomy club. Horseback riding can be a great date scenario; it’s fun, active, takes the pressure off of trying to make conversation, and who knows what will happen? Finally, how about an outdoor concert? Lots of communities have them, especially in the summer time. Pack a picnic with wine, cheese, some fruit and other tasty vittles and you’ll never want to have a boring, indoors date again. For more dating ideas, read 41 Outdoor Dates by Drake Cyrus.