Whether you are newly single, or perpetually so, lots of people don’t reflect on their singleness, nor do they actually come to terms with it.
Some jump from one relationship to another without any forethought. Others pine, preach keep impossible standards and curse the dating pool rather than evaluating themselves. There are those in today’s world who focus much more on their career. Love is an afterthought and sometimes just something to cure the biological need so that the focus can return to pursuing work related goals. Perennial adolescents exist too, in both sexes and existing way into adulthood. But many of these people don’t reflect on what it means to be single, who they really want to be and where they are going. Though it is the fastest growing demographic in America, single women seem to be stigmatized as weird, too independent or damaged. Single men up until middle age are seen either as someone else’s throw away, used goods or Peter Pans who are too selfish and never want to grow up. But few people sit down with themselves and do some soul searching. Who is it I really want to be? What goals do I have for my love life? Do I really want to be cohabitating, married or single? How can I achieve my goal whilst still pursuing my other objectives?
People are staying single longer nowadays, marrying later, choosing to cohabitate or finding themselves divorced and back in the dating pool again. But few people really think about their future and where they would be happy. If you are single, determine what it means to you. What are the perks you enjoy? What are the drawbacks? Is having the freedom to do anything you want at the drop of a hat worth more to you than say having someone to be there for you, supporting you? How do you feel in the social sense about being single? Some people are embarrassed or even ashamed by their singleness. They feel that it makes them seem like damaged goods or carrying too much emotional baggage. But that is a yardstick to measure one’s self to a bygone era. In today’s world with such a high divorce rate, people staying in unhappy marriages for loath of the expense it takes to divorce, with people marrying later, cohabitating or just choosing to be single, there is no social norm in which to measure ourselves anymore. A lot of people compare themselves to their friends. But what good does that do you? If you are an architect you don’t want to be a mechanic like your best friend. Yet, why should their relationship choice have any bearing on yours? Being single can be seen as intimidating or exciting. It can make you seem confident and independent or damaged and bitter. Society may view you a certain way. Your parents and friend may have an opinion on your relationship status. And perhaps you have one yourself. But instead of letting the opinions of others dictate your singleness, take control of it, evaluate it, decide what you really want and go after it. Own your singleness and make it work for you.