Things Guys end up Regretting

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Things Guys end up Regretting

Fellas, have you ever been with someone whom you ended up revealing something that shouldn’t have been said, or made a commitment you shouldn’t have made? These can put a really big damper on your relationship. If you have, take a gander and see if the slip up you made is here, and learn tips on avoiding a different one. If not, why not read on and figure out what things guys end up regretting saying or doing in a relationship, so you can avoid falling victim and keep you and your special lady on the right path together.

Has your gal ever asked you to go to the OBGYN with her? If you two are expecting, congratulations! You should definitely be a part of every phase. But if she’s only having a checkup, don’t go with her. It’s emasculating. Your guy friends will call you whipped. Why does she want you there anyway? What’s the point? Is it some sort of revenge for not having to go? Another problem is that if you hear and see your women’s special place stripped down to biological and medical terms, it may lose some of its mystery and appeal. Put this issue in its place. Otherwise, she may ask you to do all kinds of things you shouldn’t. Establish borders and she will respect you. If not, she’ll walk all over you.

Don’t take her to guys’ night out. It’s no longer a male bonding experience if your girlfriend or wife comes along. It undermines the entire point. You will definitely be called whipped. You and your friends won’t be able to completely be yourselves around her. In every relationship each person needs time apart to explore their own dreams, hobbies, interests and to be with their friends. And why does she want to come along? Is she the hyper jealous type? Is she too needy or clingy? The fact that she wants to tag along may be a red flag. Talk with her more and explore further. Don’t attend girl’s night with her either. This is female bonding. She needs to be the star, sip wine with her friends and gab. And they won’t feel comfortable with you around either. How can female bonding truly take place with a guy around?

Don’t pressure her into certain sex acts if you two are physical and don’t have her pressure you into any. Otherwise someone will feel resentment, guilt or regret. Instead, talk about and take baby steps up to it. Make sure each person is comfortable. And don’t do it if both of you aren’t 100% sure. By avoiding these common pitfalls you’ll be able to move forward confidently in your relationship and be able to establish healthy borders. For more advice read, 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women and How to Avoid Them by Marni Kinrys.

If you get Bored of your Lover, Should you Dump Them?

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If you get Bored of your Lover, Should you Dump Them?

Boredom in a long-term relationship comes on when novelty is over. Sometimes comfort can be well, comforting. But after a while your relationship can bore you utterly. And then what?! If you love someone and have exhausted all ways and manners of which to spice things up, if you crave novelty and they “just like the way things are” what can you do? If you get bored of your lover, should you dump them? Now it’s time to really sit down and evaluate the situation. There are really all kinds of changes that can bring about novelty. And have you truly exercised every avenue? Consider whether or not you truly love this person. Though you may need some change, making a radical move merely out of boredom might show you what you’ve lost. They say you only recognize what you’ve truly lost once it’s gone. You don’t want to be in that situation if you can help it.

Sometimes people say that they are bored with their relationship when they are really fed up. There are several unresolved conflicts brewing underneath the surface and they don’t know how to make headway on them. Their so-called boredom is frustration. The only way to deal with this situation is lock yourself and a lover in a room and don’t emerge until these problems are talked out. You don’t have to lock the door per se. If things get heated, you may need to de-escalate the situation, take a break, gather your thoughts and regroup. Still, only clear and honest communication and a plan of action can unstick this situation. In other cases, couples get stuck in a rut and they don’t know how to break out of it. Sometimes we are overwhelmed with our responsibilities. The couple may simply be stressed. A little down time, a date night, some time exploring hobbies on their own or more time with each other’s friends might be the answer. When a couple spends too much time together, they can often get bored of one another. But out of each other’s sight, and they each wonder what the other is doing, or can’t wait to share their own adventure later on with their boo.

The best way to reignite passion is to go to a place where both of you can play, use your imagination, accept one another without guilt or judgment and be free, loving and adventurous. For some that means having to get out of their comfort zone and try something new. For others, it means new antics in the bedroom. Sometimes circumstances change and we see our spouse or partner in a different way. The man she fell in love with used to be the center of attention at the office. But now he works from home, and she never sees him like that anymore. A solution may be to go out with friends, and allow him to work the room again. Really if you are both committed, you can communicate and work toward renewing your life together. Long-term relationships tend to have their ups and downs. If you run into an obstacle, how you work together to remove it says whether or not you will make it, or suffer the dust bin of history. But if your partner is in staunch refusal to change, if they won’t move one iota to please you, if they are dismissive and disrespectful, or if you have tried and tried and tried again with no result, and there’s no way you two can be happy together, don’t be afraid to sit down with them and be honest, and pursue brighter horizons. To learn more about aspects of the modern state of love and how to negotiate it read, In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and Its Victims by Aaron Ben-Ze’ev.

Talk about Sex before you Get Married

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Talk about Sex before you Get Married

Planning a wedding can be a whirlwind that scoops you up and carries you along. There are so many things to plan and do. But one of the most critical parts of a marriage, your sex life, is often swept aside. Yet, it plays a crucial role. Not only is your sex life important, but the intimacy that stems from it can fuel your relationship and keep it intact for the long haul. But a lack of intimacy can sap your marriage.  Most people expect their married sex life to be phenomenal throughout. Though married people often register higher numbers on sexual satisfaction surveys, the truth is one’s sex life ebbs and flows throughout a marriage. Psychotherapist and sex specialist Vanessa Marin says that those couples who do talk about sex before they get married are more successful overall. It is important for any couple that wants decades upon decades of happy sex ahead of them to discuss it, and come to an understanding about the matter with their partner. Schedule a time to sit down together. It doesn’t have to be stuffy. You can set a romantic mood, get wine and light candles. Or you can just sit down on the couch together and start talking about sex. It’s really up to you, and what style you have as a couple.

The first thing to consider is to ask what your sexual strengths and weaknesses are. Talk about your favorite memories together. Share what the best sex you ever had was. What was it about that time? How did it make you feel? What about it made you feel that way? Ask what theirs was and why. What do you both really enjoy doing together or to one another? What really works for you? Over time, usually couples get better. They get to know each other’s likes and dislikes, and trust builds. Each person should ultimately feel free to open up and express their needs, wants and desires. This will build a great sex life together. It will help build your relationship, as it provides immense intimacy to be able to shed guilt or shame, open up, be understood and accepted, and ultimately be fulfilled by your partner. Ask yourselves how to make intimacy a priority. Marin writes in an article in Psychology Today that she always shares this with clients. They need to set aside time for intimacy. Those clients usually respond by saying, “we didn’t know we had to do that…” Having a fantastic married sex life requires a little bit of care and effort. Schedule date nights, get a sitter and get some special alone time together each week.

Talk about how you feel about the inevitable changes in your sex life throughout your marriage. Are you planning on having kids? You can’t imagine how that will change your time in the bedroom. Menopause and lots of other things will change it too. Discuss how you plan to keep the spark a towering inferno of passion throughout your life together. You don’t want things to get boring. Talk about interests and fantasies together. Marin suggests each person making a list using red, yellow and green lights. “Reds are the things you know you don’t want to try, yellow are the ones you’re unsure about, and greens are the things you feel perfectly comfortable with. Making these lists can be a fun way to keep the chemistry going,” she writes. Talk about what you will do if you ever have a fight about sex. Marin says it is inevitable. Do you have a communication strategy in place? Will you decide to see a marriage counselor or sex therapist if you have to? Know each other’s feelings on these sorts of things. Think about how each of you can nurture your individual sexualities. Lastly, talk about your honeymoon with your soon-to-be spouse. What are the expectations? What will you experiment with? Does the sex take precedence or other honeymoon activities? For more on how to have great sex with your now or soon-to-be spouse, pick up a copy of Marriage And Sex: Marriage Advice On Spicing Up Your Marriage And Marriage Tips About Sex For Married Couples by Suzie Holmes.

The Inside Scoop on Marriage

Marriage Heart Health

The Inside Scoop on Marriage

Some of our earliest memories are children’s movies where the princess and the prince finally come together after long odds to live happily ever after. People who are really married may have quite a different take. But we are ensconced in messages about marriage, some close to actual experience and others quite a distance from it. And of course each couple in and of themselves is different. Still, there are many things about marriage that exist no matter who is married. Lots of people will give you advice on marriage and having a happy one. But there are lots of other things they don’t tell you, at least unless it’s a night over a few too many adult beverages.

Here is the inside scoop on marriage that no one, or few people will talk about but are aspects that will pop up, that you’ll have to deal with. First, realize that their family is going to become your family. It isn’t just the person you’re marrying. So get to know your in-laws really well before tying the knot. Lots of couples have been driven to divorce court by problems caused by those outside but close to the marriage. Set a positive tone with your spouse-to-be’s family. But set boundaries and have a discussion with your romantic partner about what those should be.

When you are married you aren’t polite company anymore. You are a person’s life partner. You share every aspect of your life together, whether you like to or not. Social taboos then begin to erode after so many years. The idea of rude and crude goes out the window. Rashes, injuries, investigations of one’s earwax and more are all par for the course. You get really comfortable with your spouse and these things don’t bother you anymore. When dating, you would never even think of letting someone into your comfort zone like that. But when you are comfortably married, you soon forget those boundaries. Some people feel that this newly found comfort level is a sign of the couple’s togetherness and closeness. That is true. But others worry that things may be getting too close. It’s really natural so instead of fighting it go with it.

Some people are annoyed by the little things. Nail biting, cracking gum, putting the toilet paper roll on flap side down and many other little annoyances add up. You will have to deal with the little flaws and shortcomings of your spouse, and the positive little things they do to. But if you let these get on your nerves and your spouse can’t change, you may be your own worst enemy. Learn to come to terms with the little things your spouse does. They should offer you the same courtesy. For more advice read, Things I Wish I’d Known before We Got Married by Gary D. Chapman.

How to take your Girlfriend to a Gentlemen’s Club

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How to take your Girlfriend to a Gentlemen’s Club

Lots of guys think that they can’t take their girlfriend to a gentlemen’s club.  Truth is some girls are totally down, but your timing has to be right. The circumstances too have to be good. Don’t spring it on her on the way to a funeral, or after work when she’s tired. But if the two of you are bored and staring at each other over a couple of salads on a Saturday night, it might be a fun way to spice things up. There are some things you’d best watch out for. Here is how to take your girlfriend to a gentlemen’s club.

First, don’t tell her once you’ve pulled into the parking lot. Break the idea in advance. Feel it out. If she has any bi-curiosity, bring this up. Let her know that you think it’s hot that she thinks it’s hot. Tell her you want to get all turned on there, come home and make passionate love to her, use it as a way to get to ecstasy. The sale of orgasmic bliss may just be enough to push her over the edge. If it’s about ogling other women, she may or may not be down. But if it’s about her, her enjoyment and her fantasies, she just may be your designated driver.

Don’t get hammered however, or you are likely to make a fool of yourself and ruin any chances of further trips to the strip club. Once there, see if she’s interested in a lap dance. Now if you care about this woman at all, for the love of all that is good in this world, do not take her to the seedy, greasy neighborhood strip club. Don’t take her to a dive. Not only will she not enjoy it, and tell others about it, you will lessen your chances of getting some real hot action later. And who would do that? Find a place she’d like to go to. Show her their web page. Send her some links and ask which one she prefers. Write her dirty texts or emails saying what you will see, and what you will do to her afterward. It’s especially important to talk to her about it a week in advance, and perhaps the day before.

Remember to approach it right, telling her how hot it will be. Maybe you won’t even take her home but have her right in the backseat in the parking lot. How hot would that be? Women get turned on by being desired. And if you hint at the frenzy of passion you will enact upon her, she’ll be so turned on you might even get some action beforehand. Whatever you do never ever compare your girlfriend to the strippers. It will never sound complimentary. Don’t act like you are not at a strip club. You are. Relax and enjoy it and she will too. Be a little bit classy. Ask if it’s okay that you get a lap dance, and perhaps buy her one at the same time. Use it as a fantasy builder for her and you will ultimately reap all the benefits. For more advice on enhancing your sex life read, Spice up Your Marriage: A 28-Day Adventure by Hallie Lord.