We all know how important texting has become in our love lives. Now they are becoming weighty evidence in divorce proceedings according to a survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Text messaging was present in the top three forms of electronic evidence used in divorce court today. But getting texts for your attorney can be difficult. You can either read them off the phone directly, or perhaps write them down for yourself.
The second method is to have them taken off the phone. This can be done even after the messages have been deleted. If there is some type of access code for security purposes, bypassing that would make the texts inadmissible in court according to John Simek, Vice President of a Virginia based computer security company called Sensei Enterprises, Inc. It’s like the difference between a suitcase that is open and one that is locked. Of this Simek said, “Then there is an expectation of privacy, and you’d better not be blowing by it.” Also understand that cell phone providers don’t store any messages on their end. So don’t go snooping in that direction, you’ll come up empty.
This is where you can use a trained pro to get your ex’s texts. According to Simek, a text message usually stays on the provider’s servers for about two weeks. But a case has to be filed before a security company can go in there and get a text. Otherwise, they have no leg to stand on legally. Searching the actual phone is really the best way to get at texts says Simek. Once a text has been deleted however, it can be hard to retrieve. Computer forensics companies can use several methods to try and retrieve these text messages. BitPim , Sim Card Seizure, or Paraben Device Seizure are some of the methods used. Keep your fingers crossed.
“Normally it’s pretty volatile, these text messages,” says Simek. How your phone overwrites memory comes into play. But the forensics company will go through all of the internal organs of the phone to see if they can grab a hold of the steamy text your ex sent to their lover. These special software extractions can even get the date and time, important information where court is concerned. Some of the software programs even get inside the phone and take a photo of the text. These companies can even testify in court on how the text was extracted. So the next time you have a text that can help pay off in divorce court, look up your local computer forensic security company. They may be able to ensure you get your hands on it, and your lawyer does too. For more assistance with evidence seeking read, The Everything Private Investigation Book: Master the Techniques of the Pros to Examine Evidence, Track down People, and Discover the Truth by Sheila L. Stephens.
Women between the ages of 30 and 50 were the most likely to state technological obsession with their decision to look for a lover on the side. It’s important to take time to invest in your relationship. Of course, technology is necessary and can be fun. But an obsession with it will not only lead to relationship dissatisfaction in the long term, but personal dissatisfaction as well. Instead, decide to spend at least a certain amount of time unplugged together. Just an hour spent talking, having coffee or cuddling on the couch can not only bring closeness and help strengthen your bond, it will give both of you more satisfaction overall. Any important relationship needs time, energy, care and enthusiasm brought into it. Why not share a hobby every Sunday afternoon that you both enjoy? Spend some time talking about your day every evening or the coming day every morning. Do little things together that are special for just the two of you. Have a date night and take time during the week to plan it out. Have a certain time of the evening and on the weekends where you unplug and your own life and that of your relationship will be rich and fulfilling. Ignore your love and you will soon find yourself alone with your tablet or phone, unless that’s what you really want to begin with. To learn more about our modern infatuation with technology, read 21st Century Addictions and Obsessionsby the Postmodern Library.
It may be difficult to imagine the difficulties one would experience while going through a divorce with the extra burden of not having cell phones or email as channels of communication. This is how it was for most people only 20 years ago. People going through a divorce had to resort to landline telephone calls, hand-written letters, and the dreaded face-to-face communication with the ex. Now divorced couples have the convenience of text messaging and emailing, so they can avoid hearing each other speak altogether! This is a huge advantage, considering how negatively many recently divorced couples feel about one another. They might despise the mere thought of having to listen to each other speak.
This is also the case with contacting your children during a divorce. Even if your children don’t have access to a cell phone, depending on their age, they might have a personal email account that you can contact. In somewhat recent history, parents would have to call the landline phone and request to speak to their children, having to rely on their ex’s to either allow them to speak to their kids or not. If there were something really important they wanted to tell their children while they were with their other parent, they would have to get past the screening system of the ex-spouse.
Although it’s much simpler to contact your children with modern technology, it may not always benefit the divorce process to avoid speaking with your ex one-on-one or over the phone. Instances of miscommunication are more likely to occur via written word vs. spoken communication. It’s far easier to understand a person’s message when you can hear it, and even better if you can see the facial expressions and physical gestures that accompany it. Written communication doesn’t have the same level of give and take as speaking does, so the same conversation that would take a few minutes in person might take several back-and-forth messages over a period of hours or even days with email or texting.
It’s important to utilize modern technology, but also try to maintain a communicative balance. If you limit your communication purely to email or texting, there are bound to be misunderstandings, breakdowns, and other problems. If the majority of your communication is done this way, but you attempt to handle more important issues by phone or in person (however uncomfortable it might be for both of you), you might come to resolutions more promptly and efficiently.