How to Find Him

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How to Find Him

Are you tired of waiting around for prince charming? It makes a great story. But in reality, if you are just waiting for the right guy to find you, you will kiss a lot of frogs without finding any princes. Instead, it pays to be proactive with your love life, like so many other aspects of life, rather than just wait for whoever comes along. But how do you find him, the right guy? He may not be the one, if such a thing exists, but the one for you. Don’t just sit on your duff and wait for him to arrive. He may not. And when he does see you, he may not recognize your interest, or that you two could be the perfect item.

Here’s how to make things happen. The first step, develop a gaze that shows how attractive and mysterious you are. Don’t just make eye contact, give him a look that will make him whither in his shoes. He’ll either strike up the courage to approach you, get a wingman to accompany him for a little support, or he’ll walk away, in which case it’s time to move on to the next potential candidate. If you see a cute guy walking a dog, approach them. Play with and pet it. Show how much you like dogs and start a little conversation. It’s a great, easy icebreaker. If you are an animal lover you already have something in common. And owning a dog shows he’s affectionate, responsible, caring and loving; good relationship traits.

If there is a nice guy you’d like to get to know better, use a pickup line. If a man uses it, it’s trite, unimaginative and falls flat. If a woman uses it, it’s funny, cheeky and lets him know you are interested. If you are at a sports bar or venue and see a guy you are interested in, use the game as an icebreaker. Ask who’s winning. What team is he rooting for? Ask about the rules. These questions will make him feel masculine as he can enlighten you on the information he knows. It will get the conversation flowing. And you’ll be able to judge his interest in you quickly. If you are a fellow sports fan, it should be easy to get the small talk rolling.

Another great way to capture a man’s heart is to be the damsel in distress. Have a problem you want him to solve. This works well on someone you know or have had your eye on for some time. Ask him to fix something for you, be it the printer in the copy room, something at your desk, your car in the parking lot, or wherever or whatever needs fixing. If he isn’t handy ask for his advice on something. Then thank him for his help. Offer to help him with something. Better yet invite him to dinner or lunch, on you as a thank you. There are lots of subtle and fun ways to maneuver the right man into your life. For more advice read, Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love you Deserve! By Matthew Hussey.

Love Tech

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Love Tech

It’s hard to meet someone in the modern world with so much time spent on career, education, family and other responsibilities. Luckily there is some nice new love tech that can help you find that special someone. Take a look at these modern smart phone innovations and see if they may work for you. Do you want a mobile matchmaker that can locate singles for you in your neighborhood, in your area, or where you’re hanging on a Saturday night? An app out of Singapore helps you do just that. You can download the BEDD software at bedd.com. All you do is set up a profile along with a photo, answer some questions on what you are looking for in a date and when you’re out and about it will alert you to other subscribers in your area. When a match is found both phones let their owners know. Sense Six, a similar service is hitting U.S. shores soon. Keep an eye out for it if you want to know say how many eligible cuties are on your daily commute. It could help find someone at a party, on campus, at work, while shopping by yourself, out on the town, or when you may least expect it. And since you’re both subscribers it can help you break the ice, put you on equal footing and give you lots to talk about. You could even introduce them to that great sushi place right up the block. How did they miss that place?

Have you ever drunk dialed someone? Sure it can feel so right at the time. But in hindsight it’s often embarrassing. How can you stop this from happening? Never fear, an app called Dialing Under the Influence by Virgin Mobile Australia has come to save you. You have to enter 333 plus the number you want to avoid dialing while under the influence. You won’t be able to get through until six A.M. the next morning. The cost is a quarter per call. What if you are a shy guy who doesn’t have any female friends or any women in his life he can practice on? How can you ever get a girlfriend when you have no experience? In Hong Kong and other places there are virtual girls online to cut your teeth on. Enter V-girl.com. This is a virtual girlfriend you can woo like a real girl. But be warned. These aren’t your laid back tomboys. These are some serious high maintenance women. Think of a Tamagotchi pet on steroids. But instead of walks and food, you have to provide them with gifts, flowers, and lots of sweet talk. It’s not a charity date. You have to pay too and the charges are taken off of your credit card. The more time you spend the further your relationship with her develops. Ignore her you’ll get the cold shoulder. For more advice on meeting someone new, read Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together by Kathryn Alice.

Newest Singles Craze

wouldyourather

Newest Singles Craze

Across the nation this newest craze is hitting pubs, restaurants, cafes, and other singles events near you. It’s a silly activity that’s so much fun, breaks the ice like a sledge hammer and brings people together in competition and laughter. It’s a single’s board game night.  Cranium, Taboo, Pictionary, Clue and other games are making hearts flutter. Imagine your eyes meeting and that feeling of butterflies in your stomach as you announce to that cutie across the table from you they owe you $2,000 in rent because they landed on Boardwalk and you have a hotel. There’s no better way to break the ice. It brings out people’s sense of laid back, wholesome fun, it’s light, competition gets the sparks flying, and you can communicate easily over a shared interest. After the game is over you can tell who you’ve had chemistry with. And when the game is going, small talk isn’t an issue. Afterward you can always use what happened in the game as an entryway into conversation. The interactive component means that you can learn a lot about someone in a laid back environment. Now you don’t only have looks to go on but you can tell how fair someone is, how well they communicate, how they attack problems and issues and how they interact socially.

There are game nights for specific populations. For instance a Christian’s event is held by the Unity Church of Houston Texas, and another in Los Angeles. A game night for gay men is held in New York City organized by New York’s Urban Outings. For more cerebral and sophisticated players check out organizers in your area that run games like Betrayal at House on the Hill or Settlers of Catan. Why not search Meetup, Eventbrite or other event organizing websites and see if there are any singles board game nights near your location? There are organizers in many major cities across the country. Grab a few single friends and go. Even if you are shy, who doesn’t love playing board games? It can really open you up and take the pressure off you. It’s ingenious because the focus is on the game while at the same time you can shoot side glances at the people you are playing with to see if there is anyone you are interested in. It will help you relax and be able to reveal yourself through funny little remarks, teasing, goading, even a little trash talk if your group is fun, thick skinned and durable. Who knows, maybe in years to come you’ll be playing that same board game on your anniversary! For more dating advice, read How to Get a Date worth Keeping: Be Dating in Six Months or Your Money Back by Henry Cloud.

Sharpening your Funny Bone into Cupid’s Arrow

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Sharpening your Funny Bone into Cupid’s Arrow

Some people are spot on funny from the time they get up in the morning until they go to bed at night. The rest of us have to work at it. One of the number one personality traits either sex looks for in a mate is a good sense of humor. So if you can make them laugh you’ll get more dates, and more high quality dates. But how do you sharpen your funny bone into cupid’s arrow? Here are some strategies in order to make your date laugh and win their heart.  First there’s the bait and switch method. This is when you pretend to hear something different than your date said, and then make a joke out of it. For example, if they ask if you like dogs, you can say, “Hogs, I didn’t know you owned a farm.” If it works you are in. If they look at you like a gorilla dressed in human clothes, you know this person isn’t for you and you can confidently move on. The next bit is called the callback. This is when something funny happens and you bring it up again, or make it into the running gag. If you mispronounce something, say faux gras as “faxed grass.” This can be funny. And you can refer to it, or call other things in the restaurant by their wrong name. Don’t do it more than three times however or the joke gets old.

When you do a funny little story, amp up the fun with some funny voices. Don’t do impressions. Those can get tired fast. But try to act like and speak like the person you are talking about. If you can’t get them down pat, or they have an accent that is hard to do, don’t worry about it. Full steam ahead since it’s the effort that counts and not the performance. Your date will love it. Of course if you do one or two excellent impressions perhaps your date would like to hear it. But any more than that and you’ll be turning them off. Another great tactic is called the save. In this one if or when you happen to say something that offends or puts off your date, you turn the whole thing around at the last moment. For instance, if you talk about how you hate the music of Justin Beiber and your date tells you that they saw him in five concerts, simply state that he ruined your musical career. This will get a laugh and you’ve diffused the situation without backing down or losing your confidence. Lastly, there’s the ‘yes and’ tactic. With this one you go above and beyond what your date says to hilarity. If they say they’ll have to kill someone to get a good table in this restaurant, you can say, ‘yes and it’s a good thing you brought the chloroform’. With these tactics you’ll be having them rolling in the aisles, and asking for a second date. For more advice on this topic, read The 7 ½ Habits of Highly Humorous People by David M. Jacobson, MSW, LCSW.

Advanced Level Icebreakers

First-Impression

Advanced Level Icebreakers

Cheesy pickup lines don’t cut it anymore, if they ever did. People read dating profiles and meet people so fast nowadays it’s hard to stick out. Sure, it can be cute if someone cuts right to the chase with you. But more often than not you have to dazzle them. And in this millisecond attention span world, if you want to get with the best in the dating pool, you’d better wow them. Here are some icebreakers for those at the advanced level. Use these wisely. First, really observe them. Whether you’ve seen this person from afar and have been plotting, or they just caught your eye, see what it is you can connect with. Is there something in their outfit, a hat, shoelaces or anything in-between you can identify with or start a conversation about? Even if you tell them that you bought the same scarf for your grandfather, it’s funny and you’re starting a conversation. Just make sure you follow up with something a bit complimentary or you might be insulting them. Next up, don’t play too cool for school. If you aren’t engaged you aren’t connecting with the person. Be fun, personable, and let your personality shine. You want to be friendly and approachable or else you’ll be turning folks away before you even know that you have.

Ask them questions about themselves. One topic everyone is knowledgeable about and can talk about for hours is him or herself. It’s a subject no one ever tires over. Tell them they remind you of a celebrity. Then ask what celebrity they’d want to be and why. A little while on tell them you think their fascinating and ask them about their dreams. You’ll have their phone number before you know it. Why not accidentally eavesdrop on the object of your affection, sidle in and say something witty, or insightful. Follow up with them in a later conversation. They’ll be warming up to you before you know it. Remember to be interested in the person genuinely. If you objectify them you are also disrespecting them. Your intentions will be known and you’ll be shot down. But if you show genuine interest in the person, that will be recognized and get you through. If you can’t think of anything clever and your mind draws a blank, perhaps comment on your surroundings. How beautiful or dreadfully ugly the décor is for instance is a good one. Then introduce yourself. You’ve had a moment and now you’re talking. But always find some common ground, and listen intently. Too many people aren’t listened to in this world. You’ll be surprised how far it will get you. For more on this topic, read Dating Icebreakers: 700 Relationship Questions by Kerri Wood Thomson.