Do Guys Care what you wear on a Date?

outfit

Do Guys Care what you wear on a Date?

Almost anyone who has known a single woman about to go out on a date knows there is often no end to her fashion indecision. The bed will be covered with clothes, the ceiling fan and the closet door with hangers and still she has nothing to wear. Is this too girly? Too demure? Too playful? Too racy? What outfit will send the right message? What will make her look sophisticated, attractive and drop dead gorgeous? But any woman that’s asked a man what she should wear or how she looks knows that it is, more often than not, a complete waste of time.

Generally they have no idea and, even though they care about her and her problem, they really aren’t interested in the outfit unless it’s to cater to his needs. But if men don’t care what a woman wears, within reason, do guys care what you wear on a date? Match.com recently did a survey on this very topic. 76% of over 2,000 male respondents polled didn’t care what a woman wore. A skirt or pants? The choice didn’t faze them. Either one was fine. Instead, wear the outfit that is right for you.

Make sure you pick something that fits the venue you are going to or the social occasion. Also realize how revealing the clothes you pick are and what message that sends. There are certainly skirts that are risqué while others are plain and prudent. Tight pants with a low waist are sexy but also suggestive. To men generally, the outfit isn’t so important. As long as she looks great and fits in to the activity, situation or place. If it’s a first date, you may want to pick something that really accentuates your personality. Don’t wear something more professional if you are a free spirit. Send out your hippie vibe and see if he responds. If you are more the uptight type, don’t dress down to prove that you can be fun and relaxed. This isn’t you. And you’ll have more trouble later keeping up appearances.

It’s important to be yourself and project who you are so that the person can recognize that and see if that is what they are attracted to. If you aren’t yourself you are doing your date and yourself a great disservice. Lastly, realize that the guy is just as nervous about his outfit as you are about yours. He may not have all the fashion nuances but if he’s any type of man he will want to fit the environment, but also impress you too. “You look great” isn’t only for women. Let him know if he did a good job, even if his shirt doesn’t match his shoes. For more advice read, Comfortable in Your Own Shoes: The Building of A Confident Woman- Confidence Workbook- Dating Advice for Women by Gregg Michaelsen.

Want to be Attractive? Be a Nonconformist

nonconformist

Want to be Attractive? Be a Nonconformist

It’s the guy who plays guitar and rides a motorcycle, or the spritely minx who shows a little skin and sports that daring tattoo. It’s the musicians, artists, actors and activists. Those mavericks with the devil may cry attitude. They shake their fist at society and takeoff, blazing their own trail, and mowing down whatever stands in their way. Those rebels, loners, artists and performers, they take our breath away. They are our adolescent crushes adorning teenage rooms in posters. The stars change from one generation to the next, but the attitude is the same. Their loving eyes fall upon us and tell us, yes we are special and can go our own way too. Hand-in-hand we imagine laughing at the dullards as we take off on wild adventures together with our very own teenage crush. So if you want to be attractive, there’s an easy way. Be a rebel, also known as a nonconformist.

Of course, lots of sitcom episodes teach us that any character that isn’t true to him or herself falls flat on their face, and hilarity ensues. Don’t let that be you. But a bigger question remains. Why are we so instantly attracted to the ones who at a moment’s notice break all the rules, and grin from ear-to-ear while doing it? University of Queensland psychologist Matthew Hornsey asked himself this question. He set out to on a series of experiments to find why nonconformists exude sex appeal.

The first thing Hornsey and his team found out was that nonconformists were attractive across both genders. It’s a general misconception that men prefer conformists. A large number of women try all their lives to fit in. But they do so to their detriment, at least as far as dating goes. So how did Hornsey come about this information? He conducted a total of five studies. The first had 115 college students as participants. Here, they were asked to rank the attractiveness of 20 profiles. They had to say how attractive they themselves found the person in the profile, as well as how the opposite sex would rank them. In each profile’s statement there was tailored in a unique way either a conformist or nonconformist statement. They said things like, “She is happy to go along with what others are doing,” versus, “She enjoys time to herself rather than going along with others.” Researchers found that the majority overwhelmingly chose nonconformist profiles more attractive, no matter their sex. Hornsey and his team were doubly surprised that women tended to act conformist in the company of men, when clearly the results of their study showed that women were more attractive when they were nonconformist. Researchers wrote that this was a holdover belief from an era when, “women were expected to be submissive, modest, subdued, agreeable.” The results of Hornsey’s work was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. To learn how to be a nonconformist read, The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World by Chris Guillebeau.

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

attraction

Science Says What Kind of Men Women are Most Attracted to

Guys are traditionally the pursuers, and even though we live in an enlightened society most women still prefer it that way. But lots of guys wonder what kind of man women are attracted to, and how to bring the best qualities out in themselves. Women tend to vary greatly in tastes. Lucky for most poor dolts who have hardly a clue, science has stepped in to try and answer the dizzying, age-old question of what kind of guy women want. Here are some of the things science has uncovered. If you’re flying without your wingman, you may find yourself cruising over lonesomeville for quite some time. For one thing, women rate men more attractive in group photos rather than when by themselves, at least according to a study out of the University of San Diego. Therefore, it stands to reason you look better when someone’s there with you. Researchers say this is due to something called the “cheerleader effect.” People look more attractive with their faces together, since incongruities in any one person are sort of evened out by the whole group. Another thing, women like men who know how to work a room. If you are always with an entourage and you’re the life of the party, or at least she thinks you are, you look high status and someone fun to be around.

Are you a single dad? Be sure to take your baby out cruising. Just keep it during daytime hours. Not only will you get father of the year, you might score a few phone numbers. A study in France found that men who cooed, smiled at and talked to infants were 40% more likely to score a woman’s phone number than those who ignored a baby. Researchers say it shows a greater propensity for being a good dad, should the couple have offspring. Some guys shave every day. Others sport a righteous beard. But why not shave every ten days? According to Australian researchers, men who did so were seen as the most attractive. This layer of stubble is thought to project just the right level of masculinity. Here’s some simple advice. Get some nice wheels and you’ll turn heads. If you can’t afford it, borrow some. A British study found that the same dude in a Bentley Continental was found way more attractive than one in a Ford Fiesta, even with the same clothes and facial expressions. Status is the reason, and the projection of resources which he may be willing to share with a certain, special lady.

If you’re an animal lover, taking your dog for a walk may not just be a necessity, but a way to meet someone. A French study found that women were three times more likely to give up their digits to a man walking his dog versus one who approached alone. Dogs break the ice. They also project kindness, sensitivity and thoughtfulness, all qualities women find appealing. Got a little extra time? Why not volunteer? A Cornell study found that women who knew a man volunteered found him a better candidate for dating and a long-term relationship, due to the fact that he was more selfless and compassionate. If you really want to get a woman to fall for you, make her laugh. A University of New Mexico study found that those guys who could make a sharp witted quip and make a woman laugh were more likely to have short-term, uncommitted sex than their straight-laced counterparts. These quick bursts reveal creativity and intellect, two qualities women greatly desire.

Lastly, if you want to get more hits on your dating profile, include the words “creative,” “ambitious,” and “laugh.” Dating sight Zoosk did a survey and found profiles that had these words got 33% more messages. Include words like “read” or “book” or exercise words like jogging, lifting weights and the like also increased message frequency. Be sure to take it slow. Mention “drinks” or “dinner” too quickly and your response rate will plummet 35%. So this advice improves your hit rate. But what about quality control? Read, How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back by Henry Cloud, and you’ll have that covered too.

Cheating Facts and Figures

AFFAIR-DIVORCE-COURT

Cheating Facts and Figures

Everyone has an opinion on cheating. Some people think it’s a deal breaker for a relationship. The old adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” matches their sentiment. Others believe it’s a big flashing sign for a problem in the relationship. Once the problem is fixed and trust repaired, the relationship can carry on unabated. There are lots of opinions on cheating, but few statistics to enlighten those viewpoints. Here are the facts and figures of cheating. According to the General Social Survey, a tremendous study that evaluates American views on so many issues, the clear majority find cheating in marriage is morally wrong.

But that’s not what’s interesting. What is interesting is in the 1970’s, 73% of women thought so as compared to 63% of men. But in the latest survey 84% of women thought so compared to 78% of men. So anti-cheating sentiments are stronger today but the gap between the sexes on this line of thinking has shortened. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy states that 15% of wives and 25% of husbands cheat while married. However, researchers admit that few want to own up to practicing infidelity, even anonymously. So the numbers could be far higher.

The National Opinion Research Center did a survey on adultery in 2010 and found that women are 40% more likely to cheat today than just two decades ago. Researchers posited it’s because more women are in the workforce today and more of them travel for work. Writer and marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, when researching his book The Truth About Cheating, uncovered that 92% of men said that cheating for them was emotional, not about sex. They needed validation, and too feel appreciated and connected to someone. They weren’t receiving these things inside their marriages. People who were seen as more attractive either for money, power, looks or some other reason were more likely to cheat according to Neuman. But those men who did cheat often didn’t pick partners who were more attractive than their wives. 55% of men in Neuman’s research either failed to tell their wife about the infidelity, or when confronted with evidence lied. Who do you think is more forgiving, men or women in the aftermath of infidelity? The answer might surprise you. 50% of men said they’d forgive compared to a paltry 28% of women. And a last and startling finding, a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2008 found that 54% of men who had cheated thought their marriage was “good” along with 34% of women.

Signs She Got Lucky

a-happy-woman

Signs She Got Lucky

So there’s someone you are interested in. You think she may be interested in you. Look hard and make sure the signs are there. Trouble is, you never know who else is interested. Guys are easy. He comes in with a dopey smile, humming some tune to himself. Women on the other hand are notoriously difficult to read. So what are the signs she got lucky? Here are some ways you can tell. When you are near her, do you find yourself more attracted to her? Do you know what her natural scent smells like? Women who are active sexually give off more pheromones, chemicals our bodies give off to attract a mate.

A review of several studies on pheromones recently published in the Journal of Advanced Research found that pheromones do elevate the mood and arousal level of members of the opposite sex. What has her mood been like lately? Does she seem more buoyant, enthusiastic or pleasant? According to a study out of the University of Colorado, having sex often can improve the perception of one’s happiness. 15,000 participants took part in this study. Respondents getting between the sheets two to three times per week were 55% more likely to be happy then those who hadn’t gotten some in months. Another result, people are happier when they believe they are getting more sex than those around them.

Is she flushed? Does she look more attractive? According to research out of the U.K.’s University of St. Andrews, we interpret a face that’s a little flushed with higher estrogen levels. This signals a woman that is fertile and thus more attractive. Associate professor in the Program of Human Sexuality at the University of Minnesota Medical School Dr. Bean Robinson, Ph.D says of this phenomenon, “During sex, your body undergoes a lot of changes. The two main things that happen have to do with muscle tension and the increase of blood flow to all areas of your body.”

Did she tell you what a great night sleep she had last night? A study in the Oxford Journal of Human Reproduction shows that a woman’s orgasm releases waves of a hormone called prolactin. One is released post-coitus and another hours later. This hormone helps women to sleep, especially to reach the coveted deep REM sleep. Lastly, she may appear less clingy. According to Dr. Robinson, “There is a deep need for people to feel bonded. The sexual act and activity releases oxytocin, a hormone that helps people bond.” When her levels of oxytocin are higher, she will feel more bonded and less likely to be following you around, hanging on your every word. For more on understanding the finer sex read, For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn.