TIME Magazine App Predicts when you should get married

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TIME Magazine App Predicts when you should get married

Do you know when the perfect date for your wedding is? If not a new app can tell you. Brought to you by TIME Magazine, this new app predicts when you should get married. It works by first analyzing your Facebook friends’ relationship statuses and ages. Then it determines the median age of your friends’ marriages and proposes that you marry about the same age as they were.

In terms of their calculation procedure, the app only uses friends who have selected to include their date of birth in their Facebook profile, up to and including the year. Researchers for TIME believe that only a quarter of Facebook users include this information on their profile. The statuses the software recognizes are “engaged,” “married,” “in a civil union” or a “domestic partnership.” This is a small number of the average Facebook profile’s friends. One reporter using the app said that it only selected 10 out of her 900 Facebook friends as these were the only ones who chose to report their relationship status. Many others keeping their status private were then not counted in the app’s calculations.

Though it’s interesting it doesn’t seem as though anyone is planning their marriage or dating life around this app, nor should they. It makes one wonder what the point of this app is in general. Is it merely to elicit interest in TIME? There certainly isn’t a perfect date or age to get married. And with the inflated divorce rate, though it has dropped a bit for some groups, having artificial pressures or anxieties tossed atop an already large pile from one’s family and society seems ludicrous and outlandish. Certainly people today know that marriage isn’t something to be taken lightly. Though it has a fun aspect it can make someone who is single feel bad about their situation, as if there aren’t enough things that do that already.

Why not forgo this app and turn to a dating one instead? There are lots of them. Some select singles in your area and make it easy for you to chat with them. Online dating is a great way to do it too. Remember to give the person you meet a chance. Serial dating can be fun in the beginning but can wear you out in the end. If you are dating someone do not use this app to pressure them into marriage. Nor should you show the selected date to your significant other as anything other than a joke. It could backfire on you. Then you’ll be contacting TIME and all over the news for reporting that their marriage app broke up your relationship. Bet that isn’t something they saw coming. Who could have predicted it? If you’re thinking of taking it to the next level in your relationship read, Before You Say “I Do”: A Marriage Preparation Manual for Couples by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts.

My Invisible Boyfriend

invisible

My Invisible Boyfriend

Don’t you hate it when your folks, friends and others ask about your love life? Why are you still single? They so rudely inquire. Or they offer to set you up with someone you wouldn’t want to share a car ride with? MyInvisibleboyfriend.com (Or girlfriend) to the rescue! Now for $24.99 per month you can receive 100 texts, 10 voicemails and even a post card from a real person posing as your +1. You compose the cover story as to how you met, select the photo that best fits your type, click on a few traits and interests and voila! Texts will soon appear in a dashboard so you can see the backstory and context of the conversation. It’s the perfect thing to rescue you from nosy relatives and well-meaning friends. Plus, it could be fun to have a secret, pretend lover. It will even help you out if you are out with friends and they say, invite him along. He (or she) will give an excuse as to why they can’t make it. The service only goes so far. Any explicit texts aren’t let through, and all photos that you send will be erased. That might be a relief for some, those who occasionally drunk dial their boo. The website is the brainchild of co-founder Matthew Homann. Homann came up with the idea and bought the URL Invisiblegirlfriend.com after a painful divorce.

The entrepreneur financed it through a hackathon he pitched in St. Louis. Afterward, Buzzfeed picked up the story. Homann put in some extra time and elbow grease and got it off the ground, launching the beta site this January. The website teamed up with St. Louis-based CrowdSource which handles all the messaging. Your invisible bae is more than one person actually, and could be any of 200,000 employees. Usually it’s somewhere between four and seven people responding to you. Homann said he started the site as a defense for those who are single and get hurtful questions from others around them. He didn’t notice this phenomenon occurring until his divorce, he said. Lots of positive press came in the wake of the site’s launch, including from The Washington PostBusiness InsiderUSA Today and BuzzfeedBusiness Insider reporter Caroline Moss had her invisible boyfriend come from the city she requested, after including her zip code. She was surprised at the company’s attention to detail. Soon, the site will include gifts or flowers sent to the office and other such services.

Homann told CNN that although he’s thought about people getting too attached to their fake boyfriend/girlfriend, there hasn’t been any case thus far. It does have a disclaimer. One user said he received a text from his invisible girlfriend while on a date, and his date suddenly became more interested in him. Homann says it’s not just to escape the watchful eye of the ‘rents, but sometimes to fend off the unwanted advances of a coworker or hide a same-sex relationship from those who are less than approving. When using the service, you build your own mate complete with personality, interests, traits and more. Invisible boyfriends and girlfriends are prompt, friendly, supportive and caring, even more so than a real S.O. for some. But is this a good tool to get people off your back, get some breathing room and weave an illusion that is low maintenance? Is it an innocent caper or are you taking part in a hurtful lie? This brings up another question for the bitter and jaded, why should we slog through real dating scenarios when we can get a little cyber intimacy for what it costs to have a nice dinner and a cocktail? Of course, each person loves a different way, lives in a different way and has a different situation in their life that they have to deal with. The Dali Llama says that real love is not being judged. So perhaps we should give those who have invisible partners a break and even sovereignty over their own love lives. Just remember there is no service that can take the place of real love. But there are some like this one that can make us feel good, and get the nosy people off our back, at least for a little while. For those who would like some new strategies to tackle singledom read, If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever by Susan Page.

Why TIME’s new Marriage App is a Blessing

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Why TIME’s new Marriage App is a Blessing

TIME magazine has a new Facebook app that, using an algorithm, tells women when it thinks they should get married. It comes to this conclusion using data culled from the women’s Facebook friend’s pages. News of the release of this app sent women in an uproar. Articles were written, lines upon lines of comments were found on forums all over the web asking women what they thought. The app has a few shortfalls. It doesn’t collect any data for people who are too lazy to change their Facebook status, or don’t update it because they believe that information is best kept private.

The true nature of this app is to play on the anxieties of single ladies, and to market products to them. The problem is that some women may also see TIME’s new marriage app as a blessing. It could be a wakeup call for some on how much time you really have. For having children, there is a biological window to produce happy, healthy offspring. This app could help wake a woman up to the fact that she better get a move-on with dating, or else the window might close.

Of course, most women who talk to their doctor about it know that a healthy child can be born well into the late thirties and, with procedures, beyond. The question is, should there be? Will the child get all the care, love, attention and energy from parents that they deserve when the parents might be a little too old to chase after them? Of course this varies from person to person, couple to couple and situation to situation. Extreme cases have hit the news. Biologists tell us that the late teens and early twenties are when women and men are most fertile. However, due to the extensive education needed to perform well in today’s economy, most experts take this into consideration and suggest around the early to mid-thirties as the optimal time to have children.

What gets women irritated is a whiff of being judged. It’s whether or not the app is saying that a woman made a wrong choice to stick with her career rather than have a family. Reasonably, this is a choice that every woman, and to a certain extent man, must make. Of course we don’t want to be reminded of the other path. But it’s there. We should think about it and come to terms with the choices we made. It’s the only way to find peace in our life. So don’t let this app get to you. Stand by your choice and love who you are. Come to terms with any regret or misplaced aggression, and you’ll live a fulfilling and happy life. If you are considering marriage read, 1001 Questions to Ask before You Get Married by Monica Mendez Leahy.

Use Boyfriend Log to Track your Relationship

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Use Boyfriend Log to Track your Relationship

How do you feel about your relationship? Is it blissful, volatile, ho-hum or crammed full of turbulence and drama? If you don’t really know how your relationship is going, or just want to get some insight, use Boyfriend Log, a new app available on iTunes to track your relationship. By using this app, you can look at your relationship over the long term, marking the highs, lows and in-betweens. You can also see whether or not there are codependency habits. It can help you recognize those habits so that you can break them.

Self-help guru and New York Times bestselling author Linda Sivertsen is the creator of this app. You can use it to track any relationship. Each day you select how you are feeling about a particular relationship: blue is sadness, red is anger, orange is happy and green is amazing. You select your color for the day and you can track these feelings over time. You can also log in on more than one relationship at once. The impetus for this project was Sivertsen’s husband leaving her. She said in an interview with IBTimes UK, “Before my husband left, all I wanted to do was hide in my house and write with my cats and dogs. I had this quiet life. But when he left, I felt lost. I had never paid for anything by myself, but I had to. So I had to scramble as I needed to put my 17-year-old son through college.”

Soon she realized that she suffered from codependency. This is putting the needs of your partner ahead of your own, forgiving too much too soon. These relationships are often emotionally or even physically abusive and alcohol or substance abuse can play a role. Discussing her codependency Sivertsen said, “I kept a diary [about] my husband and I would make entries when he gave me clear indications that he was unhappy. But when he apologized, I would feel guilty and delete the diary. When my husband left me, I realized that no amount of self-help books and seminars were helping me to break my habit of co-dependency and I think my sister and therapist were tired of being on speed dial, so I started keeping the diary again.”

By writing about her feelings every day she didn’t have to talk to anyone else. She could see over time how she felt about the relationship overall. It was such a successful method of helping her get over her marriage that her assistant began using the method, and liked it too. Soon she found a developer and five months later Boyfriend Log was born. The app is gaining in popularity despite that it wasn’t launched too long ago. Sivertsen said, “Every relationship is really three relationships: The one you’re having, the one he’s having, and the real one. About 20 years ago when I got into the self-help field, people were saying that online information is going to be the new way [people wanted to receive help], but now I’m hearing that mobile apps will be the new way.” To learn more about Codependency read, Facing Codependence: What it is, Where it Comes From, How it Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody.

Love Tech

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Love Tech

It’s hard to meet someone in the modern world with so much time spent on career, education, family and other responsibilities. Luckily there is some nice new love tech that can help you find that special someone. Take a look at these modern smart phone innovations and see if they may work for you. Do you want a mobile matchmaker that can locate singles for you in your neighborhood, in your area, or where you’re hanging on a Saturday night? An app out of Singapore helps you do just that. You can download the BEDD software at bedd.com. All you do is set up a profile along with a photo, answer some questions on what you are looking for in a date and when you’re out and about it will alert you to other subscribers in your area. When a match is found both phones let their owners know. Sense Six, a similar service is hitting U.S. shores soon. Keep an eye out for it if you want to know say how many eligible cuties are on your daily commute. It could help find someone at a party, on campus, at work, while shopping by yourself, out on the town, or when you may least expect it. And since you’re both subscribers it can help you break the ice, put you on equal footing and give you lots to talk about. You could even introduce them to that great sushi place right up the block. How did they miss that place?

Have you ever drunk dialed someone? Sure it can feel so right at the time. But in hindsight it’s often embarrassing. How can you stop this from happening? Never fear, an app called Dialing Under the Influence by Virgin Mobile Australia has come to save you. You have to enter 333 plus the number you want to avoid dialing while under the influence. You won’t be able to get through until six A.M. the next morning. The cost is a quarter per call. What if you are a shy guy who doesn’t have any female friends or any women in his life he can practice on? How can you ever get a girlfriend when you have no experience? In Hong Kong and other places there are virtual girls online to cut your teeth on. Enter V-girl.com. This is a virtual girlfriend you can woo like a real girl. But be warned. These aren’t your laid back tomboys. These are some serious high maintenance women. Think of a Tamagotchi pet on steroids. But instead of walks and food, you have to provide them with gifts, flowers, and lots of sweet talk. It’s not a charity date. You have to pay too and the charges are taken off of your credit card. The more time you spend the further your relationship with her develops. Ignore her you’ll get the cold shoulder. For more advice on meeting someone new, read Love Will Find You: 9 Magnets to Bring You and Your Soulmate Together by Kathryn Alice.