Should You Stay in a Marriage For the Sake of Your Children?

staying together for kids

It is conventional wisdom that if a married couple isn’t happy then the children suffer. However, in the U.S. it used to be, before the Baby Boomer generation and the liberalizing of divorce in the 1970’s, that people stayed together in a loveless marriage for the sake of the children. But which is true? Certainly the conservative-liberal split and the politicizing of every aspect of life today, including marriage and divorce, have made the answer unclear. If we strip away partiality, we find that it depends upon the situation.

Research suggests that low conflict marriages, though unhappy, may be better for children than divorce (http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/considering/high-conflict-versus-low-conflict-divorce-482.shtml). Children of divorce earn typically less money, have more psychological problems, are more likely to experience substance abuse, have lower academic achievement, and are more likely to endure some type of abuse (physical, sexual, or even both). Children of divorce are also more likely to get divorced themselves and have children out of wedlock. The exception to this however, is a high conflict marriage. High conflict marriages where yelling and physical altercations occur are not healthy environments for children. In this type of situation, where the conflicts are inevitable and counseling has failed to solve the issue, divorce may be best, along with psychological counseling for one or more of the parents involved. Remember, children should always come first for parents making any life changing decisions. Talk to your children and your spouse openly, honestly and constructively. Most importantly, seek out a reputable marriage counselor, psychologist or mental health professional.

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Tips of Divorce articles are written by our expert team consisting of a recent divorcee, the creator of the website, a lawyer, a journalist, and content managers who edit and publish the articles. All contributors to this site have been impacted by divorce in their family and/or social lives. Our writers come from a wide array of backgrounds to give insights not only into life during and after divorce, but also married life, being a child of divorce, handling the legal aspects of divorce, dating and cohabitating, and more! Divorce has become so commonplace that it's difficult to find anyone who hasn't been affected by it in some way. In fact, recent studies show that many young people avoid marriage out of fear of getting divorced down the line. Divorce truly has an impact on society as a whole, not only the individuals who are directly experiencing it. This is why we encourage our followers to contribute personal insights, stories, and thoughts regarding divorce so that we can gather knowledge and wisdom from various perspectives to be used for future tips to help others.

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