There are women and men too who won’t date someone who is separated but not divorced. Of course, this becomes a problem as more and more people stay separated for longer periods of time. This is due to a number of reasons. But due to the economic recession, many people choose to stay separated rather than take part in expensive, protracted divorce proceedings. So should you date someone who is separated but not divorced? That really depends upon the situation. If there is a chance this person might go back to their spouse, then you might just be setting yourself up for heartbreak. Sometimes this is the allure, being chosen over someone else. It also makes your potential partner look more attractive, as they are in demand. But it’s a recipe for heartbreak if they keep going back and forth, or you find yourself somehow stuck when they can’t make up their mind and decide. Then there are those who will lead you on. But if the reasoning is merely financial, and you can see plainly that this person has no interest or desire to get back with their ex, than dating them shouldn’t be a problem.
If you are still confused, here is a checklist of things you can review to see where their head is at, and if they are ready to be in a relationship with you. First, are they still raw about the breakup or do they seem like they are over it? Really it depends on the person. Talking with them and seeing how they talk about their life, how they act and how they talk about their ex will give you an idea if they are still bitter or if they are over it. It could be months or even years, it all depends on the particular person whether or not they are over it or not. But you want to be with someone who gives 100% to your relationship and to you. If they aren’t over their ex, they’re not ready for you. Is this person still living with their spouse? If they are still cohabitating this is probably not a situation you want to be in. Take a close look and see if the person you are dating is considering getting back together with their ex. If they ever talk about regrets or how things used to be you might want to reconsider whether or not you want to date them. Talk to others who know this person to see where they are at. Talk to friends who have observed them or have seen you two together. What do they think? It really depends on the situation so make sure you don’t have blinders on. Go over in your mind what they say, what they do and how they act and see whether or not you think they are over their ex before getting involved with them. For more advice, read How to Survive Your Boyfriend’s Divorce by Robyn Todd and Lesley Dormen.