Single women are the largest growing demographic in America. That said, some experts think that many women who could end up with a man they enjoy being with, deflect men who show interest in them for small, superficial, inconsequential reasons. In a new book entitled, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough Lori Gottlieb explores this very notion. Women have to be more open minded when selecting their mates, and stop considering little things as deal breakers. But what kinds of things is she talking about? If he has one of these traits, you should probably give him a chance.
First, if he is younger or older than you don’t rule him out right away. The truth is that you can’t always select who you jive with. Not everyone has to fit some sort of cookie cutter mold. Instead, realize that people of different ages who have a fondness and compassion for one another, whose souls intermingle when their bodies are at a discrepancy, these are still vital relationships one should give a chance to, no matter what loud mouth ignoramus is spouting about dirty old men, cougars or what-have-you. If someone is older or younger than you are, of legal age of course, but makes you happy and you make them happy, what’s the difference?
Lots of women single a man out for what they perceive as certain physical shortcomings. For instance, if he is bald or balding, if he is a little overweight, a tad two short, wears glasses, has facial hair and so on. Often, women bemoan the shallowness of men and of our culture, which is true. But then they reject someone who doesn’t fit some sort of mental image or standard they themselves have set. Sometimes when we first meet someone we find it hard to look past physical things, that turn out to not be a big deal later on. But the guy who has a bald spot may have also written a book. He may have a great sense of humor. He may speak French and know how to dance the Calypso. If you knew all that upfront perhaps you would give him a chance. So don’t judge a book by its cover. Reserve judgment and get to know the person. That said, if there still isn’t any chemistry, remain friends. Don’t try and force something that isn’t there. If he lives far away but you two hit it off, consider a long distance relationship. Perhaps go and visit. Have him visit you. Consider moving or see if he can move. Life is too short. And if you live your life to other people’s standards you’ll never be happy. But don’t set yours too high either. There are lots of people with amazing qualities out there that can’t wait to sweep you off your feet, if you’d let them.