The warm weather months are upon us and you know what that means? It’s time to get social. There are trips to the beach, backyard barbecues, family picnics and so much more. But if you’re single and don’t constantly want to be the third wheel, and who doesn’t like a summer romance that could possibly turn into more, you’d better get on that A.S.A.P.. Sure, dating sites and apps can be lots of fun, but they shouldn’t replace good, old fashioned flirting. Some people settle in behind the comfort and near anonymity a screen brings you. But you lose out on the other senses. Being in the presence of someone, when flirting is going well, is one of the best experiences of life and what an ego boost. Anyone and everyone can flirt. You don’t have to be a heartthrob or a femme fatale. Anyone can, but there are some techniques you can use to make a real connection offline, and in an online world where we kind of shy away from and aren’t as used to doing things that may be socially awkward face-to-face. But the benefits of when it does work outweigh any drawbacks. And if you do it right you’ll be getting more positive responses than you think. First, use your eyes. Simple eye contact alone can really get someone else’s pulse going, and get them interested in you. Let your glance stay on them for a few seconds. Smiling or giving a coy look can add to the experience. Don’t stare, this is creepy. Instead, after a few seconds let your gaze wander and then return again. That second eye lock will make a deep impression.
The next technique is the look back. Walk by the object of your affection and make eye contact and do so on the way back, too. Don’t stare them down. Look aloof, positive, charming, relaxed, confident and vaguely interested. It’s best to walk past at a place that lends itself to this like a bar or a party. Smile when you lock eyes. Give them a raised eyebrow or a smile. Now it’s time for a chat. Small talk always seems like it will be terribly uncomfortable. But the truth is it’s not so hard. First, introduce yourself. Smile and face them, giving them your full attention. Next compliment them or make a comment about something about the place, event or atmosphere. Ask them a question. Appreciate something about the person you are talking to. This shows that you are interested in them and that you’ve noticed things about them. If something funny comes up or if you can make a joke, do so. Laugh, be funny, silly and playful. As things progress, try to touch their arm, hand or shoulder. This nonsexual touching lets them know you are interested in being more than friends without crossing any boundaries. Now it’s time for your first date. You’ll know what to do and how to act then. To learn more about how technology is changing the game entirely, read Closer Together, Further Apart: The Effect of Technology and the Internet on Sex, Intimacy and Relationships by Robert Weiss.