Do you want to be responsible for every iota of someone else’s happiness? That is a terribly weighty proposition, and not one many people would consider. It’s too much responsibility. However, lots of women export their happiness. They expect the man or the relationship to be the center of their world. This attitude scares men off. Really what the modern guy is looking for is a partner that is a fully actualized, independent woman who can take care of herself, her own needs, has her own friends, and is chasing her own dreams. The best kind of relationship is one made up of two independent, content people sharing a life together as equals. Clingy, needy, or high maintenance women scare men off. And they are on the lookout for them. So how do you get across that you are an independent woman without seeming unapproachable? First, keep your drama to a minimum. That isn’t just for you, but for your friends, too. If there is constant bickering or someone is always getting the cold shoulder in a woman’s circle of friends, it could mean that she will bring this into the relationship. And if the woman acts too prideful, egotistical, or needs to be right with her friends all of the time, it could mean that she will act this way with her boyfriend, too. Some women also feed off of conflict. But when a man considers the future with a woman, isn’t he going to choose someone that will keep a peaceful household? No one wants to come home to bickering all of the time.
Next, when you are feeling stressed or complain, add a little glimmer of hope at the end. This isn’t just for him; it’s for you, too. Studies have shown that having a positive attitude lowers stress, which makes you healthier and your relationship healthier, too. Something like “This sucks…but it will be okay,” is good. Too much negativity can bring anyone down. If you feel like you could use some help becoming more positive, look into the advice of author P. Seymour in their book, How to Be Positive: A Blueprint for Developing a Positive Attitude (The Personal Transformation Project: Part 1 How to Feel Awesome!). A woman who is invested in her hobbies, passions, interests, education, or career is something men, just like women, find very attractive. Recognizing someone who is passionate about something brings out our passions as well. This also makes him look good. She’s much more interesting to talk to and with. You can share more with her. She understands more of where you’re coming from. This is the type of woman you want to see every morning across from you at the breakfast table. Men like women who aren’t afraid to express an opinion, or tell them what they are feeling. Some guys are dense and won’t even know why you are upset. Tell him. Be polite but direct. Let him know what the transgression was and how he can make amends. Men aren’t mind readers. And they often have a hard time figuring women out. Do you need constant validation? If you’re always asking if you look alright, if you’re funny, and so on, it will wear on a man’s nerves. He doesn’t want to be responsible for your insecurity. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be complimenting you and treating you right. It does mean that if you keep asking it’s going to wear thin. You are a stunning, sophisticated lady. Don’t forget who you are, how great you are, and your outstanding qualities. Look in the mirror, tell yourself so and believe it. If you feel it, he will feel it, too.