Do you have the gift of gab, are witty and funny but wilt when you see someone attractive? Or are you bold and courageous but never say the right thing to the person you are trying to get close to? Some people have poise and a commanding presence, and can charm a whole room just by walking in. Others build a reputation as a charmer as time goes on. Some people are naturally witty, while others have to work on it. The truth is everyone can be at least a little charming, funny, witty and persuasive. Here are some ideas on sharpening your interpersonal skills using your own unique style. Learning how to charm people and get dates can be fun, and the skills you learn can creep over into your professional life, too. Start with your attitude. Are you approachable? Do you introduce yourself to everyone, one at a time in a roomful of strangers, or hide in the corner behind a piece of furniture? Confidence is a big part of it. You have to be comfortable in your own skin. Even if you’re not, fake it until you make it. Work on your self-esteem. Do things that make you successful. Amp up your style, get a cool new haircut, practice some relaxation and visualization techniques to take the edge off and keep you positive.
Listen to people. Ask them about themselves. Follow up with questions that show that you are interested in what they say. Make a little joke. Humor is very charming. But make sure it won’t offend anyone. Make people feel special. When you are talking to someone, give them your undivided attention. Make them feel as though they are the only person in the room. Remember people’s names. When introduced to someone, repeat their name back to them. Picture it spelled out in the air. Make a little rhyme about their name. Later on, introduce two people by their names. Knowing someone’s name makes them feel special. Make a rapport a foregone conclusion. This means don’t act stiff and rigid; act as if you know them. Smile, shake their hand hardily, and be very friendly. Talk about things you know others have an interest in. Be open-minded and try new things or new foods when offered. Feel free to share with people and be open to them sharing with you. Always maintain eye contact. Smile at them, and smile through your eyes, too. Learn to flirt a little. Touch their arm as you laugh at what they said. Stand a little bit close and see if they respond or reject you entering into their personal space. Always leave a little to the imagination though. Keep them guessing. Notice things about them. A subtle compliment on a new haircut or outfit can do wonders. When they are all warmed up to your charms, be bold and ask them out. If you know what they are interested in, tailor it to their interests. It’s hard to resist concert tickets to your favorite band or dinner at your favorite restaurant. Soon the phone numbers will be piling up. You’ll have to get a secretary to help coordinate all the dates you have.