The sexual revolution of the 1970’s broke away from the stiff dating and courtship rules of the past, many of which people circumnavigated anyway. Today, we have the freedom to date as we choose, without fearing backlash from society for not fitting the traditional mold. Proponents say that this makes the younger generation happier and free. But a new book entitled The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled and Confused About Intimacy is challenging this idea (hindustantimes). The author Donna Freitas says that below the carefree, party hardy personas lies insecurity, isolation and a depression regarding Gen Yer’s need for more fulfilling relationships. Many would prefer long term relationships with deep emotional ties. Yet on the surface, Gen Yers display a certain swagger about casual hookups in order to impress their peers.
41% of American college students feel sad or even depressed about casual encounters, according to Ms. Freitas. Many of those wanted healthy relationships instead. Another aspect revealed in the author’s book is whether or not hookup culture was positive or negative for feminism. Freitas book claims that young women believe it is where they are free to pursue their career goals. This outlook is supported by Hanna Rosin’s tome The End of Men. However, in an American Psychological Association’s report, Sexual Hookup Culture, it shows that for both genders, merely hooking up, which sometimes includes sex that was unwanted and engaged in due to substance abuse or alcohol abuse, often results in feelings of guilt, shame and depression. Though many Gen Y couples didn’t expect a relationship to blossom out of a casual encounter, 50% of women and one third of men who engaged in such behavior desired a relationship to spring out of the hookup. If you are in a casual hookup situation with someone whom you want to engage in a dating relationship with, why not approach them about it? If you are afraid of rejection, invite them out to places with you. See if they will come. Who knows, they may want the same thing as you.